Health Shots InFocus: The cost of a long-lasting marriage
By - Radhika Bhirani
"Marriages nowadays are like biscuits. They keep breaking!" said the (in)famous Sima Taparia of Indian Matchmaking, delivering a soft punch on a reality that is hitting people hard in the world of modern love.
Welcome to Health Shots InFocus, your weekly dose of wellness! This time, I found myself deliberating on relationships and marriages that continue to last for decades and the proverbial 'lifetime'. Today marks my parents' 40th wedding anniversary, and it gave me enough reason to ponder upon what really works for a long-lasting marriage.
India is said to have the lowest divorce rates in the world, owing to ingrained values of preserving relationships instead of severing them as and when you like. Yet, every fifth person one knows seems to be heading for a split. Ego battles at play, difficulty in adjusting with extended family, extramarital relationships, incompatibility, financial strain, lack of excitement, unfulfilled expectations, et al, become reasons for stepping out of a marriage.
Lack of tolerance and patience, as well as unwillingness to adjust and "compromise" (oh, Sima Taparia again) are often seen as the impediments in a happily ever after.
To many millennials and Gen-Zs around me, the bottomline is to choose whatever makes them happy instead of living with someone for the rest of their life just because they got married. Many are choosing not to marry. Crumbling relationships around them have crumbled their trust in marriages.
Our personal relationships are a very important aspect of our overall emotional, physical, social and psychological health. Healthy relationships with people you love and care about can be mood-boosters like nothing else in the world. But let's not forget, healthy relationships, like a healthy lifestyle in general, need work, effort and passion.