Healing Through Restorative Justice: Addressing the Unique Scars of Sexual Harm

Sexual harm leaves deepest scars, invisible marks, and an indelible print, not just on the body of the survivor but also on the soul as it is not limited to physical impacts alone but transcends to the mental, emotional, psychological space and affects the way survivor looks at everyone in the society. Chills travel through the entire body when someone touches, or even comes closer to them. It is difficult to maintain eye contact. ?There are shivers, and there is numbness. There is trauma that is too adamant to leave. And sometimes, there is self-blame which makes one internalize all the blame and guilt.

Over and above this, there is a whole new, difficult, confusing journey which a survivor is compelled to undertake to fight for justice, especially in an adversarial system of justice. Just to remind you, justice in legal terms is not same as justice which survivor seeks. Legal justice is limited to finding who did it and what punishment do they deserve, primarily for violating the ‘law’ of the State. No more, no less.

But what about the survivor? Survivors do not have many rights and support mechanisms in the law to take care of their emotional, mental, psychological, and social needs. Being a practitioner of restorative practices, I always wondered how RJ and RP can help survivors of sexual harm. This is a very contentious issue as in adversarial systems, sexual harm invites strictest punishment possible. Further, coming from a country where sexual harm is gender-specific, there is even bigger need to address all the survivors irrespective of their sexual orientation and their relationship with the harm-doer.

To get deeper into this issue and the psyche of a survivor, I had a conversation with @Marlee Liss. Marlee is a sexual harm survivor who fought for justice not in the criminal court, but in the form of Restorative Justice (RJ) to seek what she deserved. Marlee Liss’s case made history as the first in North America to use RJ in a sexual harm case. This discussion led to the opening of many other issues which are involved in sexual harm cases and are often ignored. My intention was to touch five core concerns: why RJ in the sexual harm cases from her point of view; how RJ supports survivors; how it promotes accountability; what are the apprehensions and challenges; and what can we start doing to have a restorative future. I am glad I touched all of these with the amazing set of participants. But I must acknowledge that there is a set of deeper issues which need to be addressed, from personal level to psychological. This piece is a collation of our discussion and what I learnt from that.

As we started, we set the definition for restorative justice as experienced by Marlee.

A combination of restorative process and restorative outcome, RJ involves those who are impacted by an incident of crime to give importance to harm and needs. It helps them move forward and past the incident.

It looks at the past and present while focusing on the future. In contrast to the criminal justice system, which sticks to the past, that is what happened, gives punishment as per law in the present and put entire at future. It is dehumanizing and retraumatizing. In the legal system, justice is narrowly defined as identifying and punishing the perpetrator, often overlooking the survivor's holistic needs. In a criminal court, the process goes as the law says, that is why it is called the ‘court of law’. A survivor is treated as no more than a ‘witness’ in the crime. They are put under pressure to answer all the questions, whether they are comfortable or not. Otherwise, they are guilty of not supporting the ends of justice. Shockingly, there is even more trauma.

On the other hand,

RJ gives a voice to the survivor, empowers them, and works with their consent and at their pace. It gives them a hold on themselves. Walks with them.

The process is designed to meet the needs of the survivor and all the other parties, as the focus is on healing. The resolution is individualistic. For instance, in Marlee’s case, the assailant went through therapy which was then followed by a conferencing. Every conference is unique, and it may have different participants as per the needs of the direct parties. It covers the restorative questions to understand the incident from all perspectives, the impacts, the needs arising from those impacts, followed by resolutions which suit the needs of everyone. Hence, ‘justice’ is ‘done’ as well as ‘felt’. There is a consideration for holistic well-being of the survivor.

As we moved along in the conversation, we also talked about accountability. Accountability within the criminal justice system is so misinterpreted. It is believed that punishment serves justice, and that accountability is imposed. Little does it understand that accountability to be effective has to be intrinsic. RJ promotes taking up accountability through the process via conversations which promote reflection. Without this process and intervention at the right time in the correct form, the responsible persons start rationalizing their acts. This rationalization is most common in the punitive criminal justice system.

Sexual harm is a very distinct harm. There are so many peripheral issues revolving around it. Sadly, in many societies, sexual harm survivors face a lot of challenges - there is naming and blaming. One of the main issues that is very relevant for me was when we talked about ‘victim blaming’. In many societies, sexual harm leads to victim blaming. Sad, but true! That is why most of the times survivors are not able to share what happened, and if they do it is believed that they must have done something to invite that harm. Silence and perpetuation stigma! Further, they are burdened for getting the justice delivered so that the harm does not repeat for someone else. Even for the harm-doer, there are mixed responses. Some defend them by calling them immature and in need of treatment, and some agitate for severe punishment.

With so much to offer and a promising approach, the discussion ended in talking about the future RJ in sexual harm. As opposed to the general belief that sexual harm comes in the category of heinous crime and therefore must be dealt with the strictest action, it must be reiterated that graver the harms, the greater is the need of restorative justice and healing. The programs for survivors can take the form of RJ or RP. While changing the law takes time, there is something we all can do at our level. There is a need to change social attitude and work on social-emotional learning. That will happen when each one of us starts thinking differently and acting empathetically. Healing circles can be very helpful here. These circles can involve support persons for the survivor and survivors from the similar cases.

We need to talk about it so that survivors do not feel alone and address the complex dynamics of power, privilege, and intersectionality that may intersect with experiences of sexual harm and bring cultural sensitivity and inclusivity. There is also a need to start teaching our kids about consent to begin with and the harm that ensue. RP offers a pathway to healing and justice that recognizes the profound impacts of sexual harm. Through meaningful dialogue and understanding, we can support survivors and build healthier, more empathetic communities furthering their healing process.

(Note: The author acknowledges that RJ may not be suitable for every case and for every harm-doer. Still, the author proposes the use of RP for healing. Every human is unique and so are their needs. Therefore, every process must be designed to answer those needs.)

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