The Healing Power of Living by the Twelve Steps of Recovery

In the hustle and bustle of our addictions, it's easy to forget the importance of self-care. That’s because all that matters is getting our next drink, drug, or fix. These become our self-care habits. We don’t have a clue about what it means to have healthy habits or to take care of ourselves.

However, once we enter the world of recovery that begins to change. We begin to learn how to take care of ourselves. Learning self-care does not just mean taking care of our outer appearance by applying face masks, going to spas, and doing yoga or other workout sessions. Yes, these are important along with learning better eating habits as well, but that is not all there is to learning to take care of ourselves. True self-care involves delving into the deeper aspects of our emotional well-being.

In recovery, we learn to live a better life, a healthier life than we lived in our addiction. We learn to live by a set of principles known as the Twelve Steps of Recovery. These steps are also known as The Blueprint for Living

Every one of these steps is vital to living a healthy recovery lifestyle. They each contribute to learning to care for ourselves in a healthier manner, beginning with surrendering by admitting that we are powerless over whatever had a grip on us. In my case, it was every hurt I ever went through as a child and carried with me through my adult life. It was the addiction to self-pity, anger, resentment, food, alcohol, drugs, sex, suicidal ideations, and attempts. Addiction is progressive and takes on many forms.

However, recovery is also progressive, and there as are many forms and layers of recovery as there are of addiction. My recovery has been about the progression of peeling back the layers of the onion. As each layer is peeled back a new opportunity to heal from the past comes to the surface.

This is when the self-care connection truly begins. and continues one day at a time. Through the first step, I learned that I needed to surrender to win by admitting I was powerless over my addictions every day. It took me a while but eventually, I came to believe in a power greater than myself with step two. In step three I turned my life and my will over to that power as I understood it. This was the beginning of my spiritual and personal development journey.

The real work began with taking a fearless moral and personal inventory of the past in step four. This took courage because taking a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself meant that I had to write down the things that I did, and my part in everything that I blamed my addictions on.

This meant that I had to delve into and review my resentments, fears, sexual conduct, and other addictive behaviors including my eating conduct. In the process, I wrote down the names of those whom I held resentment for, feared, or in any way hurt and why. It wasn’t easy but, if I did not want what I had before recovery and wanted to continue to heal, I knew I had to do the work.

I had been in recovery once before, but I skipped step four and relapsed. It took me fourteen years to get back into recovery. This time, I had to do things differently. I had to follow through on working the steps.

In working on the fourth step, I found that I had been selfish, self–centered, and sought to be the center of attention. I discovered that these behaviors or character defects were the root cause of my behaviors.

The good news is that there is a credit side to every inventory. Every human being has to have a positive side. No one is one hundred percent bad or one hundred percent good. So, I made a checklist of my good points. I do not know which was harder, making a list of the positives or making a list of the negatives, but in the end, it was not as bad as I thought it would be.

The next step, the 5th step, was all about learning to have integrity, courage, and humility. Sharing my step four with God and another human being was not easy, but again I knew I needed to follow through with it to get to the other side of the things that kept me in my prison. I did not understand the concept of having to admit my wrongs to God or a Higher Power, who knew everything anyway. ?I? struggled with having to let another human being know my dirty secrets, but I also knew that I was as sick as my secrets and I did not like being sick. So I shared with my sponsor and God all the details of my inventory. This brought new freedom and growth to my recovery.

I have done these steps several times now because as my recovery evolves the peeling on the onion lifts and needs to be peeled off again, and again and again exposing more healing to be done. The more I work on my healing, the more I grow into the person I am meant to be, the person I love today.

Steps six and seven are about being willing to ask God (Higher Power) to remove the character defects that get in the way of my personal and spiritual growth and my recovery. It was in these steps that I realized I could not let go of the character defects of my own will because I did not have that kind of power or control. Only my Higher Power could remove them.

As the practice of self-care continues it is vital to work on steps eight and nine. In step eight I had to go back to my fourth step where I had written a list names of all those I harmed or had resentments with and become willing to make amends to them all. This part was easy. The list was already there.

Step nine, however, was a lot tougher. This step involved making the amends. ?This is a form of self-care that goes deeper than anything I have had to do in recovery. I did not like the idea of admitting that I was wrong in any situation, however, here was an opportunity to release the heavy burden of guilt and shame that I carried for years due to unresolved conflicts especially when some of these conflicts were with deceased family members. Facing my mistakes head-on and cleaning my side of the street by taking steps to make things right, opened the door to a new and deeper healing and growth.

The benefits of making amends far outweigh holding on to the resentments that plagued me for thirty-plus years. Emotional freedom from past transgressions has allowed me to move forward with a lighter heart. I have been able to improve relationships by repairing the damage caused by my actions. I have been able to let go of the resentments held against those who are no longer alive. I have been able to develop stronger, more authentic connections with others. My personal growth has evolved and expanded because of self-reflection, accountability, humility, and courage that is required in making amends.

So, what did making amends require of me? By taking time and reflecting on my past behaviors and their impact on others I acknowledged any harm I caused and became committed to making things right. I offered a sincere apology to those affected by my actions and I took responsibility for my behavior without making excuses. Wherever possible, I will continue to make restitution by taking tangible steps, in time, to repair the harm done as each opportunity arises. ?In some cases, making amends is about letting go and letting God (Higher Power) take care of it. In other cases, making amends may be just living a life of recovery and doing nothing else. ?I continue to learn and grow by using the experiences as opportunities for self-improvement and I am committed to continue making positive changes moving forward.

Step ten is an action step that I practice daily. It is about learning the art of self-discipline. I have to remember throughout my day to pause and reflect on my behaviors, goals, and commitments. I need to admit my mistakes or wrongs to others and make amends for them immediately.

I continue to seek through prayer and meditation to grow in the knowledge of God and His will for me and I need to ask for the power to carry out that will. This is the essence of my spiritual growth and step eleven.

The twelfth and final step is where I share my experience, strength, and hope as I carry the message of recovery to others. As I do this my recovery is strengthened as well. If I don’t do this my personal and spiritual growth becomes stagnant and I will not be able to keep the recovery I have. I worked and continue to work through the steps with my sponsor so that I can then do the same with my sponsees. This action keeps me strong in living my best recovery lifestyle and allows me to help others do the same.

In conclusion, the twelve steps of recovery are simple but not easy. Taking a personal inventory and sharing it is not easy. Making amends is not always easy, but every step is undoubtedly worth the effort. By embracing these steps every day, I not only nurture relationships with others, but I? also continue to cultivate a deeper sense of compassion and forgiveness towards myself. The best part of this journey has been building the amazing relationship I have with my Higher Power whom I choose to call God.

As I continue my journey of recovery, I will remember to embrace the amazing healing power of my program which includes the Twelve Steps of Recovery, otherwise known as the Blueprint for Living. The profound impact it has had on my self-care and well-being has given me a life beyond my wildest dreams!

These steps are not just for those in recovery. This Blueprint for Living can be used by anyone. If you have any questions or want to take this conversation further, you can connect with me through any of my contact information below. Meanwhile thank you for taking the time to read this article and I pray it will help you build a healthy relationship with food and exercise as well.

[email protected] https://www.dhirubhai.net/in/susan-tyrrell-holisticrecovery/ https://www.alignable.com/shushan-ny/holistic-recovery-solutions https://www.instagram.com/purplelotus2016/?hl=en https://www.facebook.com/susan.sedgwicktyrrell

Wishing you a happy and serene day!

With Gratitude

Susan Tyrrell