Healing the Loneliness Pandemic

By Wendy Johnstone, Director of Programs and Innovation, Family Caregivers of BC

“The most important things in life are the connections you make with others.” – Tom Ford

2023 was dubbed the year of loneliness. Despite returning to life as we once knew it including re-connecting with our friends and family, rates of loneliness continued to rise. High rates of social isolation and loneliness have serious consequences for health and well-being. People without strong social connections are at higher risk of stroke, anxiety, dementia, and depression (Washington Informer, 2023). It’s so concerning that the World Health Organization (WHO) has launched a new Commission on social connections to raise awareness of this vital component of well-being. Our connection to each other, our communities, and the places we live help protect and foster all aspects of our well-being; however, it does require one to actively engage and connect with others to reap the benefits. Caregivers who are trying to balance providing care for someone, along with their other life priorities (work, family, community, spiritual) do not have time or energy for anything extra. This can lead to feelings of isolation, loneliness, and hopelessness.

Sam, who is caring for an adult child living with a disability, found herself withdrawing.

“I felt like my friends’ lives were moving forward and I was left behind and alone in my caregiving duties. I stopped going to our book club and meeting up for Sunday brunch. I found myself not wanting to talk about my life as it seemed to only revolve around Danny’s circumstances. Who wants to hear about medical appointments and the ups and downs of caring?”

Caregiving can feel very isolating, and when a caregiver feels alone it amplifies feelings of exhaustion, resentment, guilt, and hopelessness, which is the exact opposite of what caregivers need. Connection and meaningful support are the way forward to create healing, increase resiliency, and foster well-being.

Starting to withdraw and isolate is a sign that you may need more support or someone to talk to about your caregiving role. Like Sam, you may feel like others are happily moving forward in their lives, but in reality, many people are privately navigating their own struggles and challenges. It is through connecting and sharing with a trusted friend, family member, or therapist about your caregiving experiences, that you begin to feel less alone and better understood.

The great thing about connection is that it can be simple and easy to integrate into your life. It doesn’t take much! For example, slowing down when you are in the grocery store, making contact with another person, and saying hello or sharing a smile, all result in a positive connection. Even a brief or small positive contact gives a boost in oxytocin (our feel-good hormone), which feeds our optimism and hope. It may also look like stopping in the street to show affection to a furry friend or taking a short walk in.

For Fred, who is caring for his wife at home, it was his connection with others in a caregiver support group that validated his experience, immersing him in a community of people who shared similar feelings and circumstances and could understand what he was going through.

“I try not to miss the weekly caregiver support group. I find common ground with other caregivers in similar situations, and it offers me community and connection. This has been helpful because I often feel very alone in my caregiving. And beyond the weekly caregiver support sessions, some of us grab a round of golf with each other. It’s been a lifesaver for me.”

Connections are all around us. Taking the time to invest in them is critical for caregivers so that they can feel less alone, find warmth and support in others and cultivate a culture of connection.

Reference: The Washington Informer, 2023, retrieved from https://www.washingtoninformer.com/rising-state-of-loneliness-caus- ing-public-health-concern/)