Healing The Fear That Causes Procrastination

I'm sure some of you know the feeling - there's a deadline, the work needs to be done....and you are in the kitchen cooking, tidying up the herb rack and cleaning.....anything to avoid?starting?the task. This tendency to procrastinate around a task is common, but why do we do it and what impact does it have on us? This essay started as a response to my?therapists?suggestion to present to him a tool for?works?with?procrastination at our next session...which of course brought up a tendency to?procrastinate! But as a result of losing into it this week I now have a much better idea of why I pull back from taking action and ways of coping with it. This essay?is the first part of a two part series looking at how to deal with procrastination.?

Frequent procrastinators are?more likely to suffer from anxiety, depression, shame. higher stress levels and physical ailments associated with high stress. Clearly?delaying writing that report or starting a?new project is not just detrimental to?our effectiveness but also our health.?

Why do we procrastinate??

Procrastination is?a result of our body?trying to protect us from tasks the brain perceives as threatening. When you?need to write that report or do a task that is?perceived?in some way as harmful to your?survival?your amygdala?releases?hormones such as adrenalin that initiate a cascade through the brain?leading?to fight or flight?behaviour. We procrastinate around tasks that evoke negative feelings such as dread, incompetence and insecurity.??We also put off tasks that are perceived as stressful or challenging because there is a learnt aversion to doing something that may make us look foolish or a failure in?front?of others.

Because procrastination is motivated by our negative feelings those who find it difficulty to regulate their emotions or have low self esteem are more likely to procrastinate regardless of how good they are at time management. Procrastinators are not lazy or unmotivated, in fact we care too much about getting things right?and have an intense fear of failure.?

Our brain Is a 'don't get killed' mechanism

Where does this come from? Why do some people find it so hard to step into action? Our brain is a survival mechanism, and it seeks to avoid activity that is perceived as life threatening. Procrastinators learnt early in life that the world was not safe, and things that others might see as a challenge or even feel excited by to a procrastinator's brain are?perceived?as too risky to undertake and so we shut down the risk of doing the dangerous thing by going into avoidance activities?that?feel easy and non threatening.?

Elyssa Smith in her Ted Talk on Procrastination (see video below) says: "Procrastination is a stress coping system the brain automatically puts in place for you. It’s the canary in the mine. Procrastination, inability to handle stress and negative self-talk, can be signs of past trauma."

Alyssa Smith?outlines three type of trauma, all of which give rise to a feeling that the world is not safe.

• BIG T trauma – war, natural disasters, surviving and acident
• Little t trauma – non violent situations that still cause stress: bullying,?losing a pet and minority stress
• Tiny t Trauma – little unmet needs as a child that cause your brain to create negative self-beliefs: i.e. only getting praise when performing perfectly or?seeing your parents work without a break.?

All three?create unique survival mechanisms, of which procrastination is one.?As a procrastinator there is a sense of the world as a threat and when needing to do a task our logical process oriented left brain shuts down and the right hand survival brain takes over. The right brain is our?primal brain. Its focus is the task of ensuring we live: emergency, survival response, fight/flight/freeze. Our left brain is the logical rational thinking part of the system. When faced with a?perceived?threat the fight/fligh freeze mechanism in the right brain takes over as the amygdala sounds the alarm and the logical left brain is turned off. If the perceived danger is doing a task or activity then procrastinating by cleaning the kitchen will be seen as better than starting that task or?activity.?

Procrastination can also be a tool our brain uses to avoid a task that we fear will show we are in the unsuccessful group. Better to do nothing than face being seen as a?failure.?Procrastination is the safe harbour that we stay in to avoid the fear of the perceived danger of going out into the?sea of uncertainty.?

But here's the thing, in a study with a group of students it was found that the longer a task was put off the worse the task?seemed. So as we procrastinate the sense of danger grows and the impulse to avoid taking action gets stronger until we feel imobilised around taking any action towards starting our task...unitl the deadline arrives and the pain of doing nothing overcomes the fear of acting and we sit up late at night finishing our essay, report or work project.?

How do we heal from procrastination??

If procrastination is the result of a nervous system that is in a state of hyper?vigilant?fear based on past trauma, what can we do to alleviate this??It was thought?procrastinators?needed to learn more self discipline and strict time management. Now it is seen that being too hard on yourself can layer additional bad emotions onto a task, making the threat even more intense. To short circuit this we need to find a way to address and reduce these underlying negative emotions.?

Elyssa Smith gives a beautiful self-compassion practice in her TED talk which she suggests doing when we notice the urge to procrastinate and it is what I've been?using?this week as I put this project together. It?is a very effective self-soothing practice that calms the fight/flight response and activates the vagus?nerve, which is responsible for activating the rest and digest sense of well being.?

The Practice?

• Rub your hands together so that you feel warmth in your palms and then?place them?on your checks and neck, apply a little pressure??and take a deep breath in….breathing out with a sigh.....
• Rub your hands together again?and cross your arms, placing your palms?on your shoulders, and take a deep breath in…..breathing out with a sigh.....
• Rub your hands together again and?cross your hands just above elbows and?take a deep breath in…..breathing out with a sigh.....notice how you feel as you take a few more long slow deep breaths.?

This week each time you feel the urge to procrastinate and avoid a task that the survival brain perceives as a threat, take a moment?to pause, give yourself this self-care and then see if you feel resourced to take action. You can also?start to reflect?what your Tiny T trauma might be that makes the task feel so much of a threat. One of?Elyssa Smith's clients?realised?that as a child she was always?overpowered by being told what to do, so that as an adult the refusal to do a task felt good as any task?reminded?her of this feeling of being overpowered.....even though it meant she didn't do?the things she wanted to do. Once she?released?her tiny?t trauma was the feeling of being?overwhelmed and the resistance that came up in response to being told what to do?she could start to?rewrite?the neural scripts.?

For myself I think a lot of my resistance to taking action came form the tiny t trauma of?being undiagnosed?dyslexic at school, so that any work I did always came back covered in red ink and the message from my mother and teachers was that I was failing compared?to the others who could spell so?much better. I never had anyone tell me that the actual content of my work was good or?imaginative?nor was I told that in myself I was a beautiful being who just?happened?to have his own unique spelling system...all there was was a?constant focus on how my poor spelling was showing me to be inadequate. Now as an adult there is a Tiny t?trauma?about doing any work as the survival?brain has registered that when you submit work for scrutiny it will just be criticised....so why bring?on that pain any sooner?than is needed....delay till the?last?moment or avoid all together.?

I moved?through?my own?procrastination?in?starting?this?project by using?Elyssa Smith's self-soothing practice. And used it at any moments I needed some soothing, and it has really helped me step into action and complete it. I hope you find it useful also.?

#procrastination #resilience #selfcare