Healing Families,Healing Communities: Systemic Family Constellations
Lawrence Ngorora
Leadership and Self Development SELF-AWARENESS SELF-DISCOVERY SELF-LEADERSHIP
Quantum Leap into Freedom pvt. ltd, is embarking on assisting participants in Zimbabwe and southern Africa to explore deep and complex psychological concepts related to family dynamics and personal development. Where possible we have used Family Systems Constellations, shadow work, and inner child healing as approaches that ?help individuals uncover and understand hidden patterns or behaviors within their families and themselves that seem to surface as self-sabotaging patterns.
Historical events such as wars, colonization, climate trauma, droughts, famine, floods, genocide, oppression, forced removals, illnesses can deeply impact families across generations, contributing to a sense of collective trauma that may be passed down through stories, beliefs, and behaviors. What may seem hidden are issues such as not knowing if our mother had a miscarriage to the child before us, or whether a disabled child was sent away in a previous or past generation or perhaps someone in the family was ostracized. Mental health issues can arise from such issues hidden in past events before we were born and be a symptom of such hence we consider issues systemically as much as they are viewed individually.
For instance, from a family systems constellations perspective, one possible hidden pattern could be enmeshment or excessive emotional closeness between family members, which can lead to difficulties in establishing healthy boundaries or forming individual identities. On the other hand, there could also be disconnection or emotional distance within the family system, which can result in feelings of loneliness or abandonment. Physical, emotional, or psychological abuse within the family system can result in enmeshment as members feel compelled to protect each other or emotional distancing as a defense mechanism to cope with ongoing trauma.
We have noticed that in some cases loss of loved ones, whether through death, divorce, or estrangement, can lead to unresolved grief that affects family relationships. Enmeshed families therefore, may struggle to process individual grief, while emotionally distant families may avoid discussing or acknowledging their losses. This is work in progress, but, we suspect that some parents may have an anxious-preoccupied attachment style, while emotionally distant parents may exhibit avoidant attachment patterns, impacting the family dynamics. It is not uncommon for a parent to seem disciplining a child by scolding the child, shouting at the child, or beatings yet in fact the parent is struggling with emotional distancing issues themselves thus something is passed on from parent to child that the child later struggles with as an adult. Isolation from unprocessed emotions such as anger or shame or fear may now appear as mental health issues in the young adult.
Shadow work involves exploring and integrating the parts of ourselves that we may have repressed or rejected, often due to social conditioning or past traumas. This process can reveal underlying fears, insecurities, or unresolved issues that influence our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Some common shadows might include people pleasing behavior, fear of rejection, fear of intimacy, shame, guilt, anger, or unworthiness.
Meanwhile, inner child work focuses on healing and nurturing the wounded parts of ourselves that stem from childhood neglect, trauma, or unmet needs. By connecting with and caring for our inner child, we can address unresolved emotions, build self-compassion, and cultivate a sense of safety and belonging within ourselves.
Quantum Leap into Freedom pvt. ltd, attempts to approach these inner explorations with compassion, curiosity, and support. If one is struggling with any of these issues, consider seeking our assistance or guidance remembering that one is never alone in the journey towards self-discovery and healing. In fact, instead of getting rid of the afflictions, it serves one with considering healing the patterns as they serve as spiritual vitamins to gain self-awareness and self-love.
What sort of questions help one to begin to unearth the said patterns?
When exploring the said hidden patterns or within a family system or individual psyche, a facilitator can ask thought-provoking questions that encourage introspection, reflection, and self-awareness. Here are some examples of questions that can help unearth these patterns:
1. Family Systems Constellations:
- Are there any repeating themes or roles that family members played in your childhood that you notice are also now playing out in your current life circumstances?
- What emotions come up for you when you think about your family relationships?
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2. Shadow Work:
- Can you recall a time when you felt ashamed, guilty, or unworthy? What triggered those feelings?
- What are the recurring patterns or triggers in your life right now that you are not sure whether they may have stemmed from unresolved issues or wounds?
- How do you cope with uncomfortable emotions or thoughts that arise within you?
3. Inner Child/Childhood Neglect:
- What memories or experiences from your childhood still hold emotional weight for you?
- How do you feel about your younger self and the needs that may have gone unmet during your upbringing?
- What practices or activities make you feel safe, nurtured, or connected as you carry out your day to day activities today?
By asking open-ended questions and creating a non-judgmental space, we seem to notice participants feeling supported in exploring and untangling the complex layers of their family dynamics, shadow aspects, and inner child wounds. These initial inquiries, if taken seriously and earnestly, can serve as gateways to deeper self-discovery, healing, and personal growth.
Try us out for a one on one session or group session to work on your mental health issues or personal growth aspirations. Imagine what such a session could yield for you as this implies investing an hour or so for a session to begin understanding or accepting even lightening what looks like a burden presently.
#mental_health
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#Inner_child_work