Healing Doesn't Mean the Damage never Existed

“Healing doesn’t mean the damage never existed, it means the damage no longer controls our lives.” - Akshay Dubey

How do we move to the “it doesn’t control our life” part? What do you do when it’s stuck in your head? How do we navigate the conflict between how we feel and what we want to feel?

At first, what happened to me controlled my life. It’s all I thought about. I’d spend hours and hours trying to understand or reconcile how and why it happened. It completely and utterly consumed me. When you are feeling overwhelmed with negative thoughts it’s difficult to learn how to tune them out. I felt like I was a broken record.

I remember reading somewhere that it takes half the years you were married to truly feel healed and “normal” after divorce. For me that meant 6.5 years. Are you kidding me? I’m three years in, and I’ve found some acceptance around what happened. It no longer consumes my every day.

Painful memories and negative thinking can still arise, but now I have the tools to help me work through the process. What I need you to know is that eventually all you went through consumes you less. Time itself is a healer. I know, I know…I wanted to throat punch every single person who told me “time heals”. At the time, it felt like an empty promise.

If you are anything like me, you want someone to tell you the exact steps you need to do so that your past doesn’t take over your entire being. I’d beat myself up for not moving through the healing faster. I desperately wanted to be on the other side and just “be okay”. My therapist would try to gently remind me that it hadn’t been that long, and what I was feeling was normal and okay. I didn’t want to hear that - what I wanted was a “fix”. I would have given anything to escape sitting in uncomfortable feelings. The truth is, I attempted a lot of quick fixes. Make it a date

They definitely served as a good distraction, but did not lead to genuine change.

Story Culled from: I Do, I Did, and I’m Not Done.

It takes swimming against the tides of conflicting emotions, social pressures and in some cases reliance on a partner for financial & emotional support to activate the?LEAVE BUTTON ?however, in case you would like to discuss, what options are available to you, to get the support you need for the journey, it starts with scheduling a complimentary call with me?Coach Adenrele.

The Nucleus Transformation Mentoring Hub is a project close to my heart. According to Samuel Jackson, "The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good." This is a mentoring program designed for young men between the ages of 18 and 24 years old.

Our focus at the Hub is development of our mentees in the following four-fold areas of Life, Faith, Career & Relationship. Young men needs to be developed into healthy and responsible men who can become proud of the men they are growing to become and be fulfilled in their God-given purpose and become families, communities, institutions & nation builders.

There are four levels of membership Application into the Hub namely; Bronze - 3month, Silver - 6months, Gold -9months and Platinum - 12months. Sign Up here or Share with Someone

As a coach & counselor, I speak to countless people every week and their biggest relief is to finally find someone they can speak to about their situation in an accepting, listening and non-judgmental way. We all need?s omeone ?who has walked or who is walking in our shoes to lean on for support, chat straight with me here to find such support with your questions and concerns because I walked this path more than 20 years ago.

Program Manager Position

The Nucleus Transformation Mentoring Hub is a project close to my heart. According to Samuel Jackson, "The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good." This is a mentoring program designed for young men between the ages of 18 and 24 years old.

Our focus at the Hub is development of our mentees career, life, relationship and faith. Young men needs to be developed into healthy and responsible men who can become proud of the men they are growing to become and be fulfilled in their God-given purpose, while becoming families, communities, institutional and nation builders.

There are four levels of membership Application into the Hub namely; Bronze - 3month, Silver - 6months, Gold -9months and Platinum - 12months.

Therefore we are looking for a Program Manager who will be committed to the success of the Mentoring Program. Job requirements include managing and organising the program, marketing and business development activities for the program towards driving engagement & enrolment into the program. It is designed strictly for young men.

The job is expected to be hybrid in format which will involve both physical and remote working on a 30:70 ratio. If you this looks like what you are passionate about then Apply Here

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