Heal First, Train Later - This Coach's Perspective

Today we are celebrating 100 issues of This Coach’s Perspective. ? Our first issue was published two years ago today. ? We started with 30 subscribers…mostly friends and a couple of coaching clients. ? Today our community has grown to almost 700 strong. ? You are active, vocal, engaged and inspire me every week. ? Thank you.? I am very grateful. ? Keeps those comments coming. ? May I ask a favor. If you have any friends or colleagues who might enjoy these weekly insights, please forward to them and if they'd like to subscribe they can do that RIGHT HERE. ?

703 words? Less than 3 minutes I am a recovering Hyper-Achiever. ? The Hyper-Achiever says, “Life is about achieving and producing results. I’m worthy as long as I’m successful and others think well of me.” ? Achievement is baked into my psyche and wiring. There is no better example of that then right now as I’m beginning PT for my hip replacement. ? The lie my Hyper-Achiever is telling me. “Push yourself harder, faster. You’ll be back doing everything better than before in a shorter time and will blow everyone away with how fast you get there. Focus, work harder.” ? My physical therapist dispelled this lie quickly during our first session.? He said, “I’ve seen thousands of you the past 22 years. Do what I tell you, no more, no less.” ? “HEAL FIRST…TRAIN LATER”…There was no negotiation in his tone. ? My Hyper-Achiever was triggered. WTF, that sounded like a challenge.? I’m not a rule follower.? Listen to me means, these are simply guidelines. I’m going to blow this out of the water. ? 1 BIG THING…Hyper-Achievers possess remarkable strengths: Drive, determination and a relentless pursuit of goals. ? I’d be hard pressed to identify any successful leader I’ve met or coached that didn’t possess these qualities…LET’S CELEBRATE THAT!? ? HYPER-ACHIEVERS are…

• Driven, pragmatic, adaptable, goal oriented, self – directed.
• Capable of growing themselves and others to achieve full potential.
• Great at inspiring self and others towards meaningful growth and fulfillment when self-directed.?

The FLIP SIDE…At times an honest look in the mirror reveals that Hyper-Achievers are…

• Workaholics and suffer from burnout
• Full of self-judgement that what they did is never enough.
• Good at covering up insecurities and always showing a positive image.
• Adept at adjusting their personalities to fit what would be most impressive to others.

External acknowledgment is often more important than internal purpose or gratification. There is no joy in the journey, results are all that matter. ?

ZOOMING IN: As a “recovering” Hyper-Achiever, the impact of this excessive need to succeed can be exhausting. ? ...Self-Acceptance is continuously conditioned on the next success. Happiness and inner peace is fleeting and short-lived in brief celebrations of success.

• Closeness with others can be conditioned on whether Hyper-Achievers can be as perfect and successful as the image they might portray. If they don’t feel successful, what else is there?

• As a leader, this can perpetrate?an image of perfectionism, increased control and often a reluctance to ask for help.

• I must be efficient and purposeful.
• If I can’t be the best, then why bother.
• Put the emotions away, focus on thinking and actions.

This narrative is pervasive with Hyper-Achievers. Honestly, I went into this process thinking this way.? How wrong I was. ? Everyone on my recovery team knows this about me. It was time to acknowledge that the coach needed a coach. My Hyper-Achiever was not going to serve me. ? HEAL FIRST…TRAIN LATER: I chose to embrace this. ? My PT created a safe environment where I can be vulnerable and willing to ask for help

• For Hyper-Achiever?leaders we establish a safe, non-judgmental environment where they feel comfortable sharing vulnerabilities and challenges.

Asking for help (more than I ever have)…The most effective leaders I coach recognize when they can’t do everything themselves.

• By prioritizing healing, I’m focused on the journey, mentally and physically. I’ve given myself permission to “Be”, not “Do”. This reduces self judgement and the thought I’m not doing enough.

For leaders, finding a balance between their drive for success and their need for self-care. Self-worth is not tied solely to achievement. Self-Care is a crucial for leadership development? ?????

Why…I chose a new hip to give myself the best odds for continuing to live my life with purpose and to sustain a lifestyle where I can show up as the best possible version of myself.? Without HEAL FIRST, that’s not possible, ? ??????????? ???????????

We encourage Hyper-Achiever leaders to articulate their deeper motivations and purpose.

Recognize when the Hyper-Achiever is at play and why.

Shift focus from achieving perfection to continuous learning and growth ? I’m looking forward to the training portion of my recovery. I’ve committed to being intentional, pragmatic and take it one step at a time. Always aware of the lie that the Hyper-Achiever might be telling me. ? To Be Continued Ron ?

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How active is the Hyper-Achiever in you? Curious? Click THIS LINK and take our Positive Intelligence Saboteur Assessment. ? The results will come directly to you.? Then…schedule a complimentary session and let’s review the impact on your happiness, productivity and well-being. PIQUE COMPLIMENTARY SABOTEUR REVIEW ?

Ron Garfield, PCC, CPCC, Executive Coach Certified Predictive Index Partner PIQue Coaching & Strategy Group [email protected] www.pique.coach Linkedin:?www.dhirubhai.net/in/rongarfield

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