The Lesson I Learned from Political Shaming

@tomsommers1

Iced coffee in hand, I eased into my outdoor chair and table at a favorite, independent DC coffee haus. I had an hour before the next appointment and was eager to scan the day's Wall Street Journal (WSJ).

There I lounged in the equinox sunlight with the other half-dozen other escapees from their WFH kitchen-table offices. It was a gorgeous, fall day, crystal-blue skies and slight breeze.

I reached down to pull the newspaper out of my laptop bag, pawing through the vinyl sections, until I could grab it. I wrestled to unfold it in the breeze so I could start with the front page, leaving the back-end editorials for deeper focus.

As I was unfurling the WSJ to read an article, Skip IKEA. Go 'Stooping' for Furniture.," I heard,

Sir.

There were no familiar faces nearby, so I ignored it and started reading.

Then in a sharper tone,

Sir!

I glanced up and saw a slight, brown-haired, 40-ish man with a baseball cap sitting at his laptop under the umbrella table two yards away.

When our eyes met, he (aka Umbrella Man) said in a loud, accusatory tone for all the patio patrons to hear,

Sir, you know Rupert Murdoch publishes that (WSJ) paper ...are you okay with supporting him?

(Keep in mind we're in DC, a majority Democrat city where Mr. Murdoch isn't a star.)

Umbrella Man continues,

And you know Jerry Ba...(a name I didn't recognize) contributes to it. What do you say?

First, I was annoyed he interrupted my concentration. I acknowledged him with a nod and didn't verbally answer, partly because I was unclear on the Jerry person. Umbrella Man's tone and comments were clearly paper shaming.

Second, I was dumbfounded (and angry with myself) for not having a quick-witted reply. Here was a total stranger, from across the COVID-safe patio, for all to hear, why I read my newspaper.

My response was simply:

Once my free subscription runs out, I may cancel it (which is true).

The damage was done. I was simmering at my metal table, no longer focused on stooping for furniture. So why DO I read the WSJ?

Then in my mind, I came to my own defense. I read it because there are writers whose content I enjoy following. After 11 years of being a subscriber, my life perspectives and opinions have evolved.

Clearly, Umbrella Man had made assumptions based on the newspaper I was holding a few feet in front of him, and he knows nothing of how/why I read it.

He was judging me by my "newspaper" cover.

For example, he doesn't know I scan more than read it; there are contributing writers whom I eagerly read because their insights help for my work; there are other journalists for whom I don't bother; I take the editorials with a grain of salt; and I reply to letters to the editor with my own opinions. I'm hardly a WSJ zealot.

It's 2020 ..Again

Seven months into this year 2020, nothing should come as a surprise. Umbrella Man's question in the context of the pandemic, BLM, and the election cycle can be expected, it seems.

The Lesson

Umbrella Man's gift to me is I turned the tables and reflected on my own 2020 behavior.

Am I guilty of doing to others, what Umbrella Man did to me? Have I made similar accusations?

I have not verbally attacked anyone in this Umbrella-Man style. However, have I done it on social media? It's possible that when frustrated, I've made broad accusations, not toward a total stranger/individual.

Now a day after the incident, I have the experience and know how it feels, in a petrifying/shaming way, to have my "book cover" judged based on a mere sheet of paper. This incident's not worth losing sleep or changing my reading habits - the shaming causes me to reconsider my behavior going forward.

I'll think twice before making assumptions about groups or individuals, especially while doom scrolling on social media. I have no right to judge someone else's book cover.

Reconciliation and Empathy

Maybe it's masochism - part of me wanted a follow-up chat with Umbrella Man. I felt the urge to explore why he felt the need to accuse me. Would offering him context change his perception? What's his context and what does he read? A conversation with empathy may have been eye opening.

Unfortunately, I had limited time, and he left the patio to take a phone call. I don't know that I'll see him again; if/when I do, I'll likely be carrying a WSJ.

Yesterday's iced coffee came with cream, ice, shame and a chance to rethink how I perceive differences. We need more empathy and fewer accusations if we're to be a more united society.

Thanks for your time to read.

Tom Sommers is a Washington, DC-based marketing writer, data analyst, and advocate for LGBTQ and asylum-seekers' rights. Connect today on LinkedIn and follow on Twitter @tomsommers1.