HE ESCAPED!

I was on the way to my office on the island. My usual route is from the mainland to the island through the 3rd mainland bridge.

But on this day, the traffic was almost at a standstill. It was as if all vehicles going to the island are on the bridge. Google map advised us to go through the Carter bridge. So we harkened.

Before we ascended the bridge, I saw him. Or so I thought.

This tall fair guy, having an animated conversation with himself and laughing heartily looks at Tobi. 

But Tobi does not live in Lagos. He lives in Ekiti. That’s about 338 kilometres away. Besides, this guy looks so unkempt and unwell. He didn’t look like who has had a bath and a shave in a long while

This is not Tobi, I concluded and tried to dismiss him from my mind. Tobi is too brilliant and intelligent to let himself look that haggard! 

But I failed. I failed woefully in my attempt to get whom I saw off my mind.

Tobi is my friend. We were close during our NYSC days. But we lost contact after NYSC

What if that was Tobi? What if he relocated to Lagos? What if he is ill?

I sincerely hoped not!

I was not at peace. My mind kept going back to the tall fair guy I had seen earlier.

I decided to ask questions. I hoped to confirm that whom I saw was not Tobi

I called Ekanem, our NYSC mate who was also close to Tobi

After exchanging pleasantries and catching up on old times, I went straight to the point of my call.

"Eheh, Eka, what’s up with Topi now? I hope Ekiti is treating him well?”

“Ha!, Nne, you didn’t know?” Ekanem replied

“Know what?” I asked

“Tobi ran mad a few years back. He escaped from the ministry where they took him for deliverance here in Lagos. He is now roaming the streets of Lagos. He is always around the carter bridge area”

“My goodness! Tobi is living with a serious mental health illness?” I responded, carefully avoiding the word “madness”

“Ezinne, it’s like you didn’t hear what I said. Tobi is now a mad man! You are saying mental illness. Did you hear me say that Tobi is depressed? He is now mad” Ekanem said with a note of finality.

I could feel some negative emotions rising in my heart. How could she be so intentional about degrading our friend by using that insulting and unfair word? I wanted to say something to reprimand her strongly but I decided to "season my words with salt". It is possible that she doesn’t yet know that the word “madness” is no longer appropriate to use for the type of mental health issues that cause a psychotic-like break with reality.

So I calmly said, “Eka, please don’t use the word “madness” for this type of mental illness. It is degrading and inappropriate. Insanity maybe, but definitely not madness”

“But at least you understand what I am trying to say?” She replied

“Yes. But do you know if they took him to the hospital?” I asked.

“His problem is not a hospital matter, what he needs is strong deliverance from a man of God” She answered.

“Thanks, Ekanem for your time. But please, one last question, how did you get this info?” I asked

“His sister told me. I met her at a program I attended in Ekiti last year” She responded

“I would have really loved to know if they tried getting medical care for him” I said.

“They didn’t. They took him to church immediately the problem started”

I have heard enough. My heart couldn’t take more of what I was hearing. Poor Tobi!

“Ok, Thanks a lot”

We said our goodbyes and ended the call.

I went into the restroom and cried my heart out; my heart bleeding for my friend Tobi

Oh Tobi!, dear Tobi!! One of the smartest and most brilliant people I have ever met

He wasn’t given a chance to rebound from what might have been a curable or manageable problem.

He was instead given over to humiliation, torture and abuse.

What if this was a case of cerebral malaria or even a temporary psychotic episode?

I remembered all the flogging, the uncomfortable chaining, the trauma and probably the burns which are typical of such “healing”. Tobi would have gone through some or all of these in the hands of the “man of God” and his cohorts. No wonder he escaped!

Society failed my Tobi!

I initially was inclined to blame his family. But on giving it a deeper thought, they were victims also. Our system does not give the proper education, awareness and orientation about mental health issues.

People are left to figure it out themselves and most of the time, they fall into the hands of religious exploiters who tell them that the problem is caused by evil spirits that need to be exorcised.

I took a firm decision to help Tobi. I would rally friends and other people to get him the right help he needs.

2 weeks later, I had gathered a few friends who would follow me to his usual spot to try to establish communication with him.

We got to Cater bridge but did not see him. We checked around but couldn’t find him. We decided to leave and come back in 2 days

2 days later, we were back but still, Tobi was not there. Dami suggested that we ask around for him.

We approached a woman selling some wares nearby and asked her.

She responded, “Shebi that boy weh no well?” (You mean that boy who not well)

I said “yes”.

With a sad face and a solemn voice, she said. “trailer jam am last week. He don die” (He was hit by a trailer last week. He has died)

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PS: Mental health challenges (especially severe ones like psychotic types that cause a break from the reality-the type that Tobi had)  in Nigeria and many parts of Africa are not getting the attention they deserve.

I described the level of neglect and unconcern by several stakeholders for mental health problems and the way forward in my article "The Monster Within" 

Read it here: https://www.dhirubhai.net/pulse/monster-within-ezinne-alphaeus/