Hawai'i

When I graduated from Beaverhead County High School in Dillon, MT in May 2006 and was deciding on a college, I wanted to go from being a big fish in a small pond to a guppy in the middle of the ocean…..literally.

I wanted to be as far from Dillon as possible, in a big city, at a big school, with consistently warm weather, be in a completely different culture, and experience being a minority. So, what school had all of those attributes? The University of Hawaii at Manoa of course.

In August of 2006, I moved to Honolulu, HI as an International Business Major and a minor in Spanish. A confident 19-year-old kid (at the time a man in my eyes) that thought I had the world figured out, the University of Hawaii was the bite of humble pie that I needed (but didn’t want).

With unrealistically high expectations of what UH Manoa, living in Hawaii, and friendships should be like I didn’t give the situation the patience it deserved. I experienced being a minority and a long with it, racism. The weather was warm and wonderful, but I missed season change. Friendships, I realized, were a slow-moving development and I quickly found that my humor and personality were an acquired taste. Having grown up with most of my classmates from the time I was in Pre-School I never understood the time and effort it takes to truly become friends. I was anxious about the money I was spending to go to UH and school was harder than I thought it would be. I wasn’t at the big parties or at the beach all the time. It wasn’t like vacation. It was work and socially hard.

Instead of blossoming and spreading my young adult wings, I felt as if I were being put into a shell. I didn’t want to spend a bunch of money to be unhappy. Grasping for some sort of sense of belonging and direction, I decided that plan B of school was to play football and go to college .

Originally, I was going to attend Hawaii as a student, then I missed football and thought about walking on. But, in order to walk on to the football team, I needed to be accepted for admissions. So, I applied, submitted my film, and ended up never hearing from the football program but did receive the Western Undergraduate Exchange (WUE) Scholarship which reduced my tuition to below out of state but above in state. Instead of pursue football, I decided to be a full time student like originally planned.

Despite all of these “hardships” I did well academically. As the semester progressed, I also realized I was building a foundation for friendships. But the wheels were already in motion for me to set off on a new path of being a college football player. It was then that I saw that decisions and new situations take time. Looking back, I truly believe that if I had decided to stay at Hawaii for the Spring 2007 semester, I would have ended up finishing my degree there. Who knows where my life would be now.

UH pushed me down and I needed it. The experience set the tone for the rest of my college career, lead to my first career in higher education , and ultimately the relationship that resulted in my daughter . Recently, I had the opportunity to go back to Honolulu and visit the University of Hawaii. I hadn’t been back since I left in December of 2006. It was fun reliving the experience, walking around campus, seeing the city, and feeling way more comfortable on the island of Oahu.

At the time, Hawaii felt like a failure, but it wasn’t. It was a lesson.

Moral of the story, it’s good to push yourself into a situation that overwhelms you and challenges everything that you are. It’s even more important to weather that storm, be patient, and give your new situation time in order for you to settle in. Whether it’s school or a new job, the principles hold true, give yourself at least 1 year before truly deciding if it’s the right fit for you. Talking from experience, that will give you the true perspective you need to either stay or move on.

And no matter what you do, it’s valuable time spent and part of your journey……

--- Alex deGolia

Al Ki (al - KAI) Consultants