Having a mid-life rethink?

Is it still a thing? I don’t hear very much about this these days.

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I’d say very much so based on my coaching experience. It seems to pop up when someone finds that a part of themselves has been ignored, say for example, a finance director with a creative streak. It can pop up when something in our lives doesn’t feel right and we can’t quite put our finger on what that is.

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It happened to me in my mid-forties. Despite being a person who finds work rewarding, I found myself wondering when I could retire. Somewhere around age forty, it had all started to go wrong. The major issue was that I became dissatisfied with my job and with my life in general, but at the time I didn’t understand why. My life had been pretty good: married for twenty years; three beautiful kids; nice home; successful career. Why did I feel stuck? Why was I feeling bored and unfulfilled? It got so bad that I started questioning everything. It turned into a mid-life crisis.

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The result was that everything changed, what I valued, what mattered, my friendships, my job and ultimately my marriage, which sadly, wasn’t going to last anyway. Was it painful? Yes, it was. Do I regret it? Absolutely not.

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It took a lot longer than I expected for the dust to settle, but I emerged a much happier person, more honest with myself and others, less afraid of what people thought of me, more prepared to experiment, a better leader, more self-aware and able to be myself. And I’m now married to someone who became the love of my life.

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For me, this was a frightening time and at times I thought I was going mad. It was a major upheaval, and at the time, no one around me seemed to know what was going on or could help me. I would have loved to have had a guide to help me through.? I didn’t want a therapist who would take me back to my childhood, I wanted someone to help me discover who I was as an adult.

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Working with people now who are experiencing this, I find the Ikigai model a real help. A mid-life crisis can leave you wondering ‘Who am I?’ A big question and Ikigai provides a way in, helping you to look at what you love, what you’re good at, what matters to you and how you can put all that together to create a new life.

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Are you living the life you want to live? If not, what are you going to do about it? Sometimes when it’s ignored it can be very destructive, but some people get through it just putting their heads down and gritting their teeth. Others feel there’s a call that can’t be denied.

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If this is you, get in touch. Let’s talk.

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