Having a Difficult Discussion on Performance With One of Your Peers

What does a tough conversation look like where you must confront the leader of an upstream process that is causing you pain?? How does one go to a peer and tell them they are sideways; they have issues that need addressed?? What you cannot do is go to your mutual boss to complain, there are other ways to get visibility to issues than that route; nothing good will come from that play.? Your boss will begin to doubt your ability to handle conflict resolution, and your peer will not appreciate going behind his/her back instead of coming to them.? It’s the Figure It Out In The Sandbox Theorem.? ??

So, how do we do that??? First things first – data and facts must be the impetus.? There is no room in any discussion of this kind for anecdotal evidence or emotion.? Facts are the only source of truth.? Please don’t use the condescending phrase, “Help me help you”.? This isn’t a movie, there is no perfect script already written to deliver your lines. ?Rather you must be genuine, you must empathize, use tact with candor, and be prepared not rehearsed.? There is no doubt this is a very difficult conversation and one in which the preparation must be directed toward a win-win.? This won’t be the last time you need to have this type of conversation and probably (depending on the stage of your career) hasn’t been the first.? The point is don’t think because you change positions or companies the culture will be so perfect you won’t have to deal with this situation, or conversely have someone from a downstream process have this talk with you.? It happens and it’s natural in any industry, from frontline management to professionals, from blue to white collar.? These are the situations that college may not necessarily prepare you for, but experience will.?

?In management, at any level, you have a team with varying personalities, differing motivations, and assorted dispositions.? How you approach them as a leader is crucial.? The same applies for peer-to-peer interactions.? You need to know, at least a little, what they are like.? This is industrial psychology in motion.? You must know how to frame the process as the problem, not the person(s).? Human nature is to become defensive when someone challenges a deficiency in our span of control.? If their arms immediately cross, you’ve failed in your approach already.? This is why it is imperative to prep; a lot of business solutions are relative to playing chess – don’t only focus on the move in front of you, think of plans B & C depending on the other person’s move(s).?You want to begin the discussion in a way that puts the problem statement on the table without laying blame.?

An example of how to soft-land this plane:

“From a big picture, I’m sure you see it too, our business has opportunities to get better.? If we all are pulling in the same direction, I can see us achieving great things.? For example, when we do ‘X’ activity, I’m noticing some delay in our process.? Being each other’s supplier and customer, we can iron out some wrinkles that would benefit us all.? That’s why I wanted to bring up ‘X’ activity to see how we could help each other.? I see you’re in a tough spot being shorthanded on resources, so is there any support you need from me that could help?I’m reviewing my team’s process to see if there is anything we can do to remove waste.? I was looking at ‘Y’ metrics and if we can dig down and get to the root of where our process is lagging, we can work our way out of this.”

The above approach has facts, specific examples w/ numerical evidence, mentions of process not people, and a lot of ‘we’ / ‘our’ language.? There are a couple ways they can respond, and that’s why you prep like you are playing chess.? (1) They can acknowledge they have a problem, talk about what they’ve done so far or what they plan to do, or even ask for advice.? (2) They can keep it simple and say they’ll pull the thread and see what they find.? (3) They can remain obstinate, play the victim and not offer anything in the realm of looking for solution.? If it’s the later, then you’ve given them the chance to own it, and they declined.? Now you have the right to discuss further (in the moment) the impact of not acting, what life looks like with factual ‘if…then’ scenarios.? What’s the consequence of status quo?? By describing the current trend(s) which shows how sideways they are … they’ll know it’s not going away.? I believe in a long, long runway of assuming positive intent, drawing on a shared mission, and restorative collaboration.? If one chooses to not engage in any of those values, let them know that we have a duty to strive for excellence in everything we, as an organization, do.? Ask them to just look over the information and think about it.? Follow up in an email with attached data and referencing your discussion, don’t ‘cc’ the boss.? You might have to run it by your peer again, at some other time; besides, if your mutual boss is worth their salt, they will see it in the data any way and get it addressed in the meantime.? If your boss is either unwilling or incapable of confronting this negative impact to the business, and there is a culture of anti-accountability … you have two options: escalate up (potentially putting yourself at risk) until you find someone who cares or update your resume.??

?I’ve had varying degrees of success in these types of situations; sometimes it worked out, sometimes I had to convince and plead the case like I was in court.? I’ve also left cultures that refused to get better.? Without accountability equally across the organization, you will fall short of accomplishing the things that are needed to drive the business forward.? I refuse to be in an environment where the only question that ultimately matters isn’t asked; “What’s the right thing for the business”.? Managers (at all levels) that have their own agendas and who are allowed to consciously divorce themselves from what’s right for the business have no place being in the positions they have.? I’ve had said peers in the past that did not display positive intent, refused shared goals and objectives, and were allowed to be uncooperative.? I updated my resume.?

#difficultdiscussions #goalsandobjectives #cooperation #collaboration #positiveintent #accountability #continuousimprovement #industrialpsychology #peertopeerinteraction