Having difficult conversations doesn't need to be difficult

Having difficult conversations with people can be, well, difficult.? And it appears that you’re not alone.?

According to various studies, 60-70% of employees report having difficulty with having difficult conversations, whether it be direct reports, peers, or managers they report to.?

Having been a manager for years, I’ve seen, heard, and have had these difficult conversations and how it impacts relationships in the organization and within a team if not handled appropriately.?

Ignoring the problem isn’t going to make it go away; it often gets worse if you decide to do nothing about it.? It’s the proverbial “elephant in the room” that is not going away, no matter how you try to avoid or ignore it.? ?

These discussions--whether addressing performance issues, delivering constructive feedback, or managing conflict within the team—are necessary for growth but can feel overwhelming.? Left alone without forward movement or resolution, can harm morale, productivity, and trust.? ?

There are many reasons for not wanting to have these conversations: not wanting to upset someone, creating tension within your team, or not knowing how to have the difficult conversation because we aren’t good at it.? All of these things can leave you wondering what the right things are to say to make the conversation a productive one.?

You might feel uncomfortable thinking about having these conversations, but it doesn’t have to be difficult.?

Here are some thoughts related to having productive conversations with your employees:?

• Clarify expectations:? Make sure everyone understands what’s required for success.?
• Foster accountability:? Help your employees take ownership of their performance.?
• Strengthen relationships: Show your team you care about their growth and well-being by addressing challenges directly and compassionately.?
• Listen well and stay curious: ask questions for understanding so that you can respond accordingly.?

Like other skills that are developed over time, having productive conversations with your employees is a learned behavior, one where that “muscle” can be developed. ?

You may be asking, “how can I have an effective difficult conversation?”? Here are some strategies you can employ:?

?

1. Prepare, but Stay Flexible Before the conversation, take time to understand the issue. Gather facts, identify specific examples, and clarify your desired outcome. However, stay open to your employee’s perspective. Conversations should feel like a dialogue, not a monologue.?
2. Focus on Behavior, Not Personality Address actions and outcomes rather than personal traits. This approach keeps the discussion constructive and avoids making your employee feel attacked.?
3. Use Empathy and Active Listening Show genuine interest in understanding your employee’s perspective. Acknowledge their feelings and experiences to create an atmosphere of support.?
4. Balance Accountability with Support Clearly outline expectations and consequences, but also offer resources or guidance to help your employee improve.?
5. Follow Up After the conversation, document key points and check in with your employee periodically. Following up reinforces your commitment to their growth and helps sustain progress.?

Above all, build relationships of honesty and trust with your employees, where the lines of communication are open both ways.?

Need help with planning that courageous conversation that you’ve been putting off doing??

Click on the link below for a free 30-minute discovery call to see if we are a good fit for working together.

https://calendly.com/invinceablecoaching/30-minute-discovery-call