'Having It All' With The Third Option

It’s a story I’ve told countless times before, but it bears repeating.

The time? Fifteen years ago. The place? PacSun.?

I was the No. 1 District Manager at PacSun. Needless to say, I felt pretty cool.?

For 12 years, retail had me traveling and working 80-hour weeks, including weekends and holidays.?

Then, a pivotal life moment: I had my first daughter. And I – like many other parents – found myself struggling to balance my high-profile career with my new role as a mother. And after a year of trying desperately to juggle both – being as present a parent I could be while leaving nearly everything I had on the road week in and week out, I had had enough.?

I walked in and gave notice, much to their surprise.?

I had no idea where I’d go and what I’d do next. All I did know, however, was that wasn’t it.?

Three months later, we moved from New York to North Carolina, knowing no one and with no idea what I’d do – but it would have to be something because I was going bonkers staying home.?

Serendipitously, a temp agency found me a part-time job covering someone’s maternity leave – and I stayed there for five years.?

Life was good.

But then a colleague and his wife had an idea – they wanted to start their own business and asked if I wanted to join them. I was going through a divorce and the economy was tanking.

I should’ve said no. Everything in my life was in an upheaval and something safe and stable would’ve seemed like the right choice. Or rather the safe choice.

Everything said ‘Don’t do this.’ But my gut? My gut said, ‘Yippee ki yay!’

So off I went, into the great unknown, with faith in myself to forge my own path, follow my passion and build a career around my purpose.?

The Third Option

This path – the ability to work and have a personal life – would soon be known as the Third Option.

Because we knew there had to be a better way. And if one didn’t already exist, we would create one – and so we did.

We knew that some jobs lacked the flexibility needed to care for a family – sick children, field trips, recitals, basically anything that requires you to be present and available. That commutes proved too costly in time and money. That some jobs were costing people their health – physically, emotionally or psychologically.?

So many of us – often mothers – had to determine if our job aligned with our long-term goals and priorities, like family. And if the two weren’t aligned, we would have to make a choice: Work or stay home.

And for far too long, we accepted that there were only two professional options: full-time employment and unemployment. Employment was binary, and there was no in-between.?

But we were all misled. There was a Third Option: having both a career and a family – and succeeding at both.

Work-Life Balance or Work-Life Integration: The Operative Word Is ‘Life’

Full disclosure: We kinda have a dog in this fight – though that shouldn’t come as a surprise if you know us.?

Because when we set out to create BELAY, we thought of every person who had become disillusioned with working in an office. We thought of those who considered leaving to take care of their families but always felt that something was missing.

Call it work-life balance. Call it work-life integration. Call it a Purple People Eater. Whatever you call it, the point here is that you strike it.

And yes, before you defeatedly drop your shoulders and exclaim, “It’s just not that simple!,” allow us to preemptively agree: It isn’t that simple. But it is, however, possible.

Work And Life Shouldn’t Be So Hard.

Truth time: Have you ever found yourself wondering …?

1. What is preventing me from winning at work and home simultaneously?
2. Is work-life balance a myth? Is it attainable? If not, what should I strive for instead?
3. What can I do at home and at work to ensure I’m successful in both areas???
4. Where do I start? What do I address first and how?

We get it. It seems like a Herculean, near-impossible balance. Much like the Loch Ness Monster or Sasquatch, it’s hard to believe it even exists.?

But let us tell you: It does, and you can achieve it.?

But if you need a little nudge, some encouragement, and some tips, tools, and tricks? I’ve got you covered.?

On this episode of our podcast, One Next Step, our esteemed guest Megan Hyatt Miller discusses what one next step you can take to strike work-life balance to successfully win at work and home with your Third Option.

You can do it – and Megan can help!