Not Having It All; Is Having It All!

My daughter comes home from Movie World with a gift for me. Now I love gifts and this one took me by surprise. It was a Wonder Woman cape. I laughed and so did she. Then she looked at me and said, “Mum, this is literally how you operate as a superhero. Some days I think you want to save the world.” I wondered if she is seeing me like this (which is a lovely way to see a parent); that maybe I am doing too much and if I am trying to save the world; am I looking after myself. I am trying to create a life where I can have it all? Now, this cape is draped over a comfy chair in my office and most days I look at it to remind myself I am not a superhero. I am a human being doing good things to make a difference. In turn, I need to focus on looking after myself and those I love and what matters.

Do we all need to feel like Super Hero’s to have it all? Can we have it all?

We need to stop. Stop thinking we need or can have it all at once. We can’t. I am hearing and coaching in this space way too much. I get it and I have been there. The speaking, the business, family, challenges, bills, long hours, career, dreams, juggling, brilliant ideas - and at some point enough is enough. Why? We can’t do it all (maybe we can but not all at once) and then I see all these people who seem to have it all but do they? I am a full-time single mum who is the CEO of a growing business trying to juggle it all and thought I could do it and have it all - and I thought I was a SUPER woman. I am not. And it doesn’t matter. I don’t want it all. I don’t need it all. Can I tell you what matters? Your loved ones, your life and your leadership.

All that matters is taking care of you, being a leader in your life, being kind and authentic, and doing what you love and focusing on those you love. So who cares if the boss is staying back - it’s their choice. I choose to see my family. Lead the life you want, say no, focus on what matters and who you are, stop comparing, ask for what you want, never stop learning...

I could go on and on and this is why I love our leadership coaching and programs. It’s about building great leaders and people who are authentic and brave. It’s about helping them be the best versions of themselves and they don’t need to have it all and feel this constant overwhelm and busyness.

So how do I do it? How do I help others? So we can let go of trying to have it all so we can have it all. It is about FUCH (it’s part of one of my keynotes too) -

1. Focus. I focus on what really matters and what I can achieve. I focus on being the best version of myself and the people and things that are important to me. I focus on empowering thoughts. I focus on my strengths and talents and those of others. I focus on my time and spending it wisely and on the things that are aligned to my values, mission and vision. Think of a time you bought a car – and then after you bought it, you saw it more often. That’s neuroscience of focus (called the RAS - Reticular Activating System). It happens with every aspect of our lives. Imagine if you focused on what makes you great and the positive things in your life. Just an idea. Who sets your focus and RAS - YOU! I call it Attention Goes, Energy flows. When you read my book Leadership Attitude; I explore the RAS and Brain stuff, which I highly recommend.
2. YOU. Put the Oxygen Mask on yourself first. Learn about who you are. Self-awareness is the key. Love and embrace yourself and talk to yourself like someone you love. Discover your strengths and talents (grab Strengths Finder 2.0) – and focus on them – so important and remember the RAS! We focus our Leadership programs and coaching on your first! Put time in your day, week or month to do things you LOVE. Life goes past so fast, remember to look after you. I also write about this in my book Just Rock It!
3. Courage and Compassion. (2 words here, as I love to over deliver!) Leading the life you want to live takes courage. Put your hand out, shine, stand tall, say yes to opportunities, take risks, lead from the heart – I could go on and on. Another car analogy; driving a car is a risk? Yes? And we drive pretty much every day and do we focus on the risk- no! So take control of your own life and drive it to the destination you want to go and let go of the risk. Finally Compassion; we are all human and we make mistakes, stuff up and learn every day. Be gentle on yourself and just keep moving forward and making more mistakes. Love yourself with all your heart and I do this every day by journaling why I love myself and what makes me rock. Courage and compassion come from within.
4. Habits. When I work with my clients not only to focus on the above; I also help them with habits around their focus, mindset, goals and thoughts. I wake up every day and spend 30-45 minutes setting up my day. I focus on myself first in the morning as it demonstrates my focus on my own well-being and self-worth. I grab hot lemon water, sit down and journal and write my goals for the day and read a leadership book for about 10 minutes. I then practice some mindfulness for about 5 minutes and I go for a quick walk to energise myself whilst setting my focus around what I want to achieve, be and feel for the day. I come home and take some vitamins and drink a power smoothie. There are lots of books and videos on this topic and contact me for any ideas.

As you can see you don’t need to have it all to have it all. When you focus on what you do have and what makes you great, you have it all.

Are you ready to stop being a Super Hero? Remember the FUCH. Remember YOU ROCK…!

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The Author - Sonia McDonald

Sonia McDonald believes we should lead with kindness, from the heart, doing rather than telling and is known for her mantra ‘Just lead’.  She leads by example in all these areas and through her one on one practical coaching, leadership training for teams and organisations encourages others to do the same. Sonia has helped hundreds of people on their leadership journey to become the best version of themselves and in turn inspire and bring out the best in others.

For more than 25 years, Sonia has been on the front lines of human resource management. She has held leadership positions around the globe and through experience, research and study come to realise what it takes to be a truly effective leader.

Sonia has an ability to speak bravely and authentically about her own development as a leader, personal and career challenges in a way which resonates with her audience. She is recognised as a LinkedIn influencer and has become an in-demand keynote speaker, who puts people at ease and starts important conversations.

She is an award-winning published author and writes regularly for publications such as The Australian, HRD Magazine, Smart Healthy Women and Women’s Business Media. Sonia has become recognised for her commentary around the topic of leadership, developing work-life balance, championing the up and coming leaders of tomorrow and advocating for women in business and male-dominated industries.

Her company, LeadershipHQ have helped 1000’s of small to medium-sized organisations, corporates, teams and leaders. LeadershipHQ partner with businesses and leaders in building & delivering high impact Leadership, People, Cultural and Business Strategies and Programs that ultimately improve the bottom line. We work with leaders and organisations across the globe transforming their leadership, culture and organisations with our cutting edge and results-driven strategies, assessments and diagnostics, leadership events, coaching and programs.

Our specialities include Cultural Transformation | Business Strategy | Leadership Development | Facilitation | HR Consulting | Executive Coaching | Keynote Speaking | Online Programs | Licensing Programs | Online Resources | Emerging Leaders | Women in Leadership | Leadership Coaching Program | Masterclasses – Half and Full Day Leadership Workshops | Events | Mentoring Programs

Phone 1300 719 665 www.leadershiphq.com.au www.soniamcdonald.com.au