Having ability to forget unwanted things

At some point or another, everyone goes through experiences they’d rather forget. Fortunately, there are ways to train your mind to cope with negative memories in a healthy way, from pushing the thoughts out of your head to reducing the anxiety you feel when bad memories surface. Avoid objects and places that trigger the memory. Do you notice yourself getting blindsided by your bad memory when you go certain places or are around certain things?

Maybe you haven't realized that they're what's triggering your memories. For example, maybe your bad memory is related to an incident that happened at your elementary school, and you recall what happened every time you pass it. If you start taking a new route to work in the morning and avoid the street where your school is, you can keep your mind bad-memory-free a bit more often. If you're able to completely avoid the things that trigger your bad memory, it might eventually fade out of your mind. You'll have fewer reasons call it up, and as you keep living life you'll replace the bad memory with more important thoughts.

Of course, not all triggers are entirely avoidable, and maybe you don't want to have to change your route to work, or donate your collection of science fiction books, or stop listening to your favorite band just because the last time you saw them live was the night your ex told you he was ending the relationship. If avoiding triggers isn't feasible, either because there are too many of them or you resent giving the memory that power, there are other ways you can deal with the memory.

Think about the memory until it loses its power. This step works for many people. The first few times you remember something bad, it might catch you off guard and leave you feeling anxious and deflated. Your impulse might be to avoid thinking about it as much as possible, but trying to suppress the memory can give it more power when it does pop back up in your mind. Instead of pushing it out of your mind, let yourself remember what happened. Keep thinking about it until it loses its sting. Eventually, you'll just stop thinking about it so much, and when you do, it won't be painful anymore. If the memories become heavier on your mind then get on a long walk or do any exercise briskly.

Try to take comfort in the fact that the event causing the memory is over now. Whatever happened - people laughing at your embarrassment, or a dangerous situation you endured - is in the past. In some cases, thinking about a bad memory can become a little obsessive. Observe your emotions as you repeatedly recall the memory. If you realize that even after deliberately thinking about the memory it still has the power to hurt you, then try a different method for getting rid of the bad memory.

Try memory alteration. Every time you remember something, the memory changes a little bit. Your brain makes up for tiny gaps in your memory by replacing them with false information. You can take advantage of the way your brain works by replacing the bad parts of a memory with different information. Eventually, you'll start recalling the changed version. For example, let's say you have a childhood memory about riding in a boat called "The Dreamcatcher" on a lake with your dad. You remember your dad at the stern wearing red shorts and sunglasses, shouting as he watches you lean too far over the rail and fall into the water.

You know this is what happened, but years later when you look at a photograph from the day you see your dad was wearing jeans, and the boat was called "The Kingfisher." As you see, memories are never completely accurate, and they can be changed. Try altering the part of the memory that makes you feel bad. Using the above example, if you remember feeling scared and alone when you fell into the lake, try re-imagining the memory so that you focus on how great it felt to get rescued by your dad. Every time you think about the memory, it will be a little different. If you focus on the good feelings instead of the bad each time, the memory will begin to change in tone. Maybe it won't go from being a bad memory to a great one, but it might lose the power to hurt you.

Focus on happier memories.Sometimes our brains get into ruts that are difficult to climb out of. If you find yourself dwelling on bad memories a lot, train your mind to switch to happy memories instead. Don't give a bad memory enough time to change your mood or make you feel anxious; instead, the moment it comes into your mind, shift your thinking to a happier memory. Keep practicing positive thinking until you no longer automatically fall into the same old mental ruts.

Try pairing your bad memory with a good one. For example, if you can't stop thinking about a time you fumbled a presentation and the whole class laughed, pair that memory with the memory of a time you performed well and received praise. Each time you think about the bad memory, shift your thoughts to the good one. Having a good memory fresh on your mind will keep you from having to rack your brain for something positive to think about when you're feeling bad.

Learn to be in the present. The practice of paying more attention to the present moment is called being mindful. It means focusing on the here and now instead of dwelling on the past or nervously anticipating the future. Being mindful is an excellent way to relieve stress and get more out of life. Instead of spending time and energy worrying about things you can't change, you get to let go of baggage and just be.

Often times, people let their minds drift off during their daily activities, and they completely tune out what they are doing. Instead of going on "autopilot," take the time to notice small details, like sounds or smells that you wouldn't normally pay attention to. This will help bring your mind back to the present moment rather than drifting off and fixating on memories. Adopt a mantra you can repeat when your thoughts drift to places you don't want them to go. For example, you could say "I am here" or "I am alive." Say something that grounds you in the present. This will help you to realize that you have a choice.

Pay attention to how your body feels right here, right now. Pay attention to your senses: what do you hear, see, taste and smell right now? Make sure that you do not limit your senses to memories of the past. Try meditation. Most forms of meditation are all about mindfulness. Focusing on breathing and freeing your mind from distractions helps you live more fully in the present. Regular meditation practice not only helps you focus, it has also been shown to improve overall mood.

But friend you can do much to reduce them and there will come a point when you will not be affected from those unwanted memories. It happens in everyone's life trust me it's not that much difficult ..even I have faced too much ..took anti depressants ..and anti-anxiety drugs ..but at the end life never ends n you realise how loved and blessed you are. Just do these simple things daily.. everything takes time have faith in yourself and give some time to yourself but never give up okay and these are-

1 . Wake up early and just stand anywhere in the open area where you can see the sky ..take deep breath and close your eyes spread your arm..just feel the moment deeply … you will realise that you are ready to live your today and feel lucky that you have got a chance to live a life again and your today's memories will become your past memories one day .. in this way you will be adding good memories in your mind n forgetting those unwanted memories day by day. Run as much as you can ..it will help you to reduce your frustration stress and anxiety trust me you will feel more relaxed fresh and enthusiastic day by day

Never ever satisfy yourself by saying about those memories that I will not remember I will not remember just take the step. Whenever those memories disturbs you like hell just take a glass of water and turn on the music and dance as much as you can whether you know how to dance or not doesn't matter ..or you can use earphones …this sounds silly but do it once you will feel more relaxed ..there will come a time when you will forget even to feel those memories .

Start eating chocolates because it really reduces anxiety in normal language we can say it activates happiness hormone in our body. Start doing rough sketching or reading novels or start travelling to small distances or solo trips or collections of some things you will find real happiness because happiness lies in little things more you will b happy the less or no will be the anxiety. Start loving yourself more and more stand in front of mirror and just have a look over you for 5 mins and feel how blessed you are you have each and every part perfect in your body then why are you just thinking about the stuffs you have lost you have a new day new beginning you can do whatever you want to do start caring about yourself more take a perfect hair cut ..buy things for yourself ..these little things will give u real happiness

Always pend a day in any orphanage during week days or in weekends ..just buy some stuffs for them and have some talks with them you anxiety will b invisible after few meetings. I can feel whatever you are facing ..because anxiety depression phobias etc these illness can only be explained to someone but the person who are actually facing can only understand how much painful it is..but if I can make it happen why can't you ..!! I think it's enough to make you understand but if you want to ask or share anything so that I can help you more I will b really happy because the one who has gone through can understand you better.

I don't recommend trying to forget certain things as history has a way of repeating itself. If it was bad because of someone, it's best to learn to get over it, forgive them and yourself, then remember it so it doesn't happen again because you see it coming. I'll start with alternative option of getting over it as it has great benefits and provides healing and good mental health practices. Everyone's journey can be different through this process and is best done (not to mention quicker) with the help of a licensed mental health specialist who fits your needs. Finding this person can be difficult, just keep looking until you find someone comfortable to talk to.

The first step is admitting what happened, it was real. This can be tough, as the reaction is to forget and move on. But if you continue, you can learn how to get better and be happy again. The second step is analyzing the event. This part I highly recommend a mental health professional assisting with because when you do it alone you can warp and derail positive things and twist it into being your fault when it wasn't. It's important to go over the events one stage at a time asking if you could legitimately done things differently in that moment. Sometimes you could have, but just keep in mind it's done, in the past and dwelling too long on it won't do you any good.

Once you go through it, kind of step back from it and watch it as if you were a bystander. Would you blame yourself if it was someone else who this happened to? It's a long process no doubt, but what comes of it, is that you now have learned how to handle things better. I heavily recommend a mental health provider be included as they can help guide you through this troubling process. Now to answer your question in actuality. Unless you have the memory of everything is written in stone, you can rewrite your memories. We all do it, just a fact of life. Grandma's house was remembered to be bright green in 1974, but in 2020 you found a photo from 1974 and it was bright blue. Her driveway was gravel not paved, she had Rose's not tulips this can be used to rewrite your thoughts and memories.

Positive affirmations used in mental health practice is an example of the most powerful way. Go into a brightly lit room with a big mirror and tell yourself with confidence what you want to believe. Again, I don't recommend using this to forget bad things. Eventually, by looking at yourself in the mirror and hearing yourself and seeing yourself confidently repeating it every single day you can convince yourself of anything.

The reason I don't support forgetting bad things is because these things can, over time, fester and create subconscious feelings that can cause us harm later in life. I did this to myself when I was young, and my result was 13 years of subconsciously sabotaging myself in everything because I blamed myself for the event and every bad thing that happened after. The result was regret, loss of 13 years where I could have progressed positively and a severely damaged relationship with family and friends alike. Whatever you choose, I hope this answer helped you to make an informed decision. Good luck, stay strong, you can do it! Cheers!