Have you seen Harry lately?

I want to tell you about two patients I saw today. Both men, both in their 90s.

Thomas – let’s call him that – is 91. He was nearly 17 during the VE celebrations, which are commemorating this weekend. For the last few days Tom has been passing blood clots with his urine. On Friday, he went into urinary retention – which luckily cleared after a few hours. Since then his difficulties have been ‘off and on’ but his urine is now permanently red.

Today, he had tried to contact his GP via ‘econsult’ and ended up, unintentionally, at www.doctorinthehouse.net, which I set up a few weeks ago for volunteer doctors to see patients stuck at home, for free. After a brief moment berating me about how he had given up on eConsult, he told me his story. I advised him to stop taking his blood thinning tablets and I immediately rang and wrote to his GP. With luck, Tom will get a visit, or at least a call from someone who knows him.

Richard is a year younger than Thomas and lives at the opposite end of the country. He’s been married for 60 years to his wife, who is now suffering badly from dementia. She recognises him, but doesn’t like him any more, he says. She wanders, falls asleep inappropriately, is often incontinent and spends much of the day asking the same series of questions – although she does manage her twice weekly trips by ambulance for dialysis.

Richard told me these hours are the only peace he gets all week. His son is in America, daughter is at the other end of the country. They no longer have any close friends in the area. (By any reckoning they are probably all dead). In his online request-form he confessed: “I just want to TALK to a health professional. I’m totally exhausted”.

He decided to talk to me via www.doctorinthehouse.net mainly because he had failed to get through on the local GPs answering service. “You keep going round and round in circles and end up at the start every time,” he told me, “I confess I slammed the phone down.”

Thankfully, the answering service had an option for health professionals to talk to reception. So I got though quickly and was able to report back to the GP. The surgery also got a short written referral too. And the surgery will help assess his needs as soon as they can.

While many of us catch up on our philosophical reading or binge on yoga instruction videos, it’s worth remembering these two glimpses into the lockdown-life being suffered by so many older people. Loneliness is a killer in many developed countries, including the UK.

Before you crack-on to the next series of your favourite box-set, take a moment to think: do you live close to someone like Tom and Dick? Perhaps you live close to someone called Harry who is also suffering in stoic silence. Unlike my two patients, who were remarkably well connected, Harry may not even have the internet or a smart-phone. Harry may have rung his overstretched GP service several times already and given-up in frustration.

You can still knock on Harry’s door and find out if he’s OK. Even with social distancing. Even if you don’t really know him. Maybe you can you get something for him – or his diabetic wife – or just pass a few moments to relieve some loneliness. Don’t forget to ask if they need to talk to a health professional.

And if you can’t connect Harry to his overworked GP, doctorinthehouse.net will be happy to talk to him, for free.

Some references

1. https://www.ageuk.org.uk/our-impact/policy-research/loneliness-research-and-resources/
2. https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/loneliness-annual-report-the-first-year/loneliness-annual-report-january-2020--2
3. https://time.com/5541166/loneliness-old-age/
4. https://www.nhs.uk/news/mental-health/loneliness-increases-risk-of-premature-death/