Have you seen enough?
Amberly Carter, M.Ed, CDE?
Digital Publisher | Racial Equity Speaker | Author of Buried Alive: 7 Lessons Mamie Taught Me on Black Leadership | Creator of the Platform to Justice Program
This is a living nightmare… I am literally living in what could be a Jordan Peele horror film where pictures of the worst moment in my family’s history are popping up randomly without warning… without permission… and without any concern for one’s psychological safety… For what? Likes?
I think my mom made a Facebook post the other day asking people to be mindful of sharing our loved one's beaten and mutilated body. I think about how this impacts her and my older relatives' psyche… I mean, how would you feel if someone you loved, someone who sat at the dinner table with you, someone who opened Christmas presents and road bikes with you, someone who took his last vacation with you, someone who was ripped from the bed with you by gunpoint… (Need I go on?) How would you feel if your so-called friends indiscriminately posted monster-like triggering images of that person you loved so dearly “for the culture” and influencer clout? Would you wonder if they thought about you first?
This crosses my mind every time I scroll FB, read some uplifting quote and then get caught off guard with my cousin’s face…
I’m reminded of this heinous crime that happened to my family and I can’t look away…
I don’t even have an opportunity to cover my eyes, prepare myself for the suspense of some ugly, dead thing before it hits my eyes. Instantly sadness, rage, failure and an inconsolable pain fills me. My brain has to take a moment to recalibrate. My body at a standstill and stoic state as if I’m just loading… It’s a miracle every time I’m able to keep it together. I have not become numb or desensitized to images of Black death, especially not of those of my cousin Emmett.
Let me break this down for anyone one on my social media friends list… Read this next part slowly or it may go over your head…
Yes, Mamie wanted the world to see… that the state of Mississippi was trying to cover up a murder of a Black child… She held a viewing for 5 days… That was strategic… like in the same way we protest and demonstrate to negotiate against state-sanctioned violence today… Strategic! It was purposeful for a direct outcome… In 1955… where there was no Facebook… no Google… no blogs… and people who believed “those things” only happened in the Deep South… to people who were arrogant and didn’t know their place in society… But she was trying to open their eyes.
The world needed to see… the cover-up that was happening.
Emmett’s identity was being brought into question and it was important information she believed would impact the trial in Mississippi. He was beaten so badly that his body was unrecognizable to anyone but his mother. She took to the stand to testify under oath this truth. Brought into question again, years later, our family had to have his body exhumed and identified by the state… a great disrespect to Mamie’s testimony for which she risked her life to tell…
But our family obliged, reopened our wounds, because “they” needed to see…
The very people who couldn’t make their way to the 5 day viewing… who saw the same images posted on the cover of Jet Magazine… those same images that are posted on fb for likes and follows… when will you see what we see? That “they” don’t really care about us…
I’m having a “Haven’t we given everything???” Queen Ramonda moment here…
I wonder how Mamie would feel seeing how people take images of her and her only son and use them for likes instead of justice… for reels instead of real change… for profit instead of peace… I do believe there is a need to view these images and more importantly share the story behind them, but with intentionality and always with respect for the sake of my family’s emotional well-being and the larger Black community’s psychological safety.
My ask:
1.) Please reconsider posting Emmett’s brutally murdered body without first speaking to the family. If you find that to be an unreasonable request, please consider providing resources for mental health, healing Black racial trauma and/or other tools to help people process what they are looking at today. That’s how you can support our family and break down generational trauma. That’s how you love and support each other.
2.) Give us back our story and our power over the narrative. (This is not a dig at the recent film or tv series, as the family were consultants and trusted those involved with those projects… I speak for myself when I say I am very proud of them!!!) This is a message for culture vultures who take to social media for likes and follows. This is a very pointed message for the “influencers” with platforms built for their own selfish gain and fake community upliftment. Stop preying on impacted families for cultural content. (If that’s not you, then this message isn’t for you!) You actually believe our people are weak… and offer only tough love to “Black people”. We are a resilient people, but we shouldn’t have to be.
And please post Mamie in her strength/power and Emmett in his Black boy joy… she experienced all of the emotions outside of vulnerability so she shouldn’t be Black America’s symbol of pain and devastation, but rather courage and excellence. I’m convinced those who only post Mamie in tears and Emmett’s battered body are doing so for their own agenda, which is usually rooted in misogynoir and ego… (we’ll unpack that later). Let the world truly see Emmett and Mamie for who they truly were…
3.) If people can’t recognize the similarities in Emmett’s story with that of so many others today… They don’t want to see it… They don’t want to be accountable and they don’t want to give us justice in the courtroom. They want history to repeat itself.
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If you want to know if you’ve unintentionally caused harm to me, or an impacted family… take a look at your impact… If your posts don’t move people from the sidelines like Mamie’s Jet magazine cover, like his 5 day funeral, then it’s performative and you need to reevaluate your STRATEGY. Try something more engaging, less passive because it’s likely the only thing you are really impacting is my family’s mental health...
Remember that while Emmet’s pictures are everywhere and you can’t look away… neither can we.
If you’d like to work with me, contact me: Amberly Carter, M.Ed, CDE, [email protected]
Resources:
The Racial Healing Handbook: Practical Activities to Help You Challenge Privilege, Confront Systemic Racism, and Engage in Collective Healing by by Anneliese A. Singh PhD LPC
Unapologetic: A Black, Queer, and Feminist Mandate for Radical Movements by Charlene Carruthers
Right Within: How to Heal from Racial Trauma in the Workplace by Minda Harts
The Racial Trauma Handbook for Teens: CBT Skills to Heal from the Personal and Intergenerational Trauma of Racism by Támara Hill LPC
Quiet Influence: The Introvert's Guide to Making a Difference by Jennifer Kahnweiler PhD
Finding Her Voice: How Black Girls in White Spaces Can Speak Up and Live Their Truth by Faye Z. Belgrave PhD , Ivy Belgrave, et al.
Don't Let Your Emotions Run Your Life for Teens: Second Edition: Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills for Helping You Manage Mood Swings, Control Angry Outbursts, and Get Along with Others by Sheri Van Dijk MSW