Have You Scheduled an Adventure Day?

What is “Adventure Day?”

Thank you to Gio for encouraging me to write this.?

K?rsten and I feel like above all else, we do “our relationship” really well. When I told Gio about “Adventure Day”?plans, he told me I should write?an?article about what this is and how it fits into our relationship.

My work schedule has me on the road and away from home at least 2-3 nights per week. My wife works full time and presents for work very often away from the local office. On top of that, we run several other ventures on the side including a wedding business, a coaching group, and a real estate portfolio. These side projects take a lot of time away from our time together.?

We had been feeling a little depleted and we were looking for a way to do something special together. We both are wired to work… a lot.?

About 5 months ago, we came up with a once-a-month structure to support our relationship and feeling connected.?

Note: our love languages are both quality time with an emphasis on physical touch (the holding hands and sitting elbow to elbow/hip to hip kind). Neither of us are big “gift givers/receivers.”

Adventure day for us looks like an entire day of just us. No chores. No work. No house projects. No jobs. No family. No Business. Usually, No House at all.?

On this last adventure day, we drove ~4 hours north to see some of the changing fall colors of northern Minnesota.?

We went for a hike at Oberg State park and saw the the two lakes and the many gorgeous overlooks.?

Afterward, we drove back to Duluth and had drinks at a great cocktail bar we found, and then walked across to one of our favorite pizza restaurants . Finally, we drove a little ways to get some of the best local ice cream in town before finally driving home and pulling in around 11:15 pm.

It was a long day and 8+ hours of driving for a ~90-minute hike might seem a little silly. You’re not wrong. But having ~16 hours of mostly uninterrupted “date day,” is one of the things that makes our relationship special. We love the travel time as much, if not MORE, than the destination. We even bring along conversation cards sometimes in case we’re not feeling too inspired about the week or the coming events in our lives.

It gives us a chance to articulate some of our expectations around our families, our future, our jobs, our financials, and our physical expectations (yes, I know you were wondering whether we talked about that too).?

Truly, when you’re on the go as much as we are, this monthly “reset,” does so much good for our alignment and feeling connected.?

Some adventure days involve hiking and sometimes they involve bringing meals to people who are recovering from surgeries or illnesses or recent births.?

Want to propose an adventure day for you and your spouse? Here are some ideas that worked really well for us.?

Start by reading this short book and use that as a jumping-off point for your conversation.

Bonus: pick up a deck of these and put them in the cup holder.?

Stereotypical disclaimer: Dudes, talking about your feelings and expectations won’t hurt you. If some of the topics or questions make you uncomfortable, consider setting an agreement with your partner to “pass” and then agree to revisit in a week or two. Give yourself some space if you are just starting down this path of intimacy.?

Ideas for making the most of the day

• a day trip
• a special meal destination or cooking experience
• a beach visit
• a mountain hike or a snow day event?
• blocking off an extra day of work on a Friday or Monday in order to get the rest of the house stuff addressed
• we have blocked off most Sundays as “Date Days,” but that will include church and often groceries and laundry as well as meal prep and the occasional family thing. It sets the intention though that those days are protected for our relationship. Why limit it to once a month?

What would Adventure Day look like for you and your partner? What’s their love language? Start there. We are fortunate that we learned and frequently speak and cater our actions to support each other’s needs.

For us, it’s made a huge difference in us feeling connected even during the crazy month of September when we were both on the road for work A LOT.

May your Adventure Day be filled with great conversation on your next trip!

With love,

Josh and K?rsten