Have you reached the honeymoon stage of your life yet?
Today is my 18th wedding anniversary. Almost two decades. I can’t believe how fast the years have gone by.
A few months ago, I was talking to a friend. He asked me, “You have a great marriage. How do you do it?” I chuckled (inside I was laughing hysterically) and told him it was FAR from perfect. We’ve hit every bump on the road and even looked for bumps to hit at times!
When we got married, we skipped the “honeymoon” stage and went straight to the “what just happened” stage. The shock of getting married was too much change for my system to handle. My depression and anxiety went into overdrive. I spent years trying to keep my head above water.
Don’t get me wrong, we had a good life. On the outside, everything probably seemed pretty good (hence my friends’ comment). But there was always an undercurrent of “what did we get ourselves into.” I know there were times (probably too many to count) that my wife wanted to pack her bags and walk out the door (or ask ME to pack my bags). And if she had, I wouldn’t have blamed her. It was tough. Fortunately, she always had faith that I would figure things out. And deep down (REALLY deep down), I knew I could figure it out also. I needed help though (I wasn’t getting it from doctors - no offense to any doctors reading this!).
The help ultimately came in the form of several years of intensive coaching. I needed to reprogram my brain and work through a lot of mental and emotional roadblocks.
Despite the struggles, our marriage is better than it’s ever been. I don’t even recognize the person I used to be. A few days ago, my wife made the comment, “I feel like we’re finally in the honeymoon stage of our marriage. It just took a long time to get there!”
If your marriage is struggling, take a hard, honest look at YOURSELF. The problems you’re having probably have nothing to do with the marriage and everything to do with your own roadblocks (I realize there are exceptions). Everyone has them but very few people have the tools to deal with them.
Sometimes you need “open soul surgery.” I did. And it changed my life.
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PS - If you’re finally ready to reach the honeymoon stage of your life, shoot me a DM. I help people that know they’re capable of a more fulfilled, balanced life, but don’t know how to get there.
PSS - This post is My Wife Approved?