Have You Outsourced Your Happiness?

Are you someone who is waiting for the “Big” day in your life to arrive? Do you have an over stretched goal for yourself that keeps you on your toes every single day in the hope of achieving the impossible and makes you feel miserable due to non-achievement? Do you imagine a future life that you would want to live happily with a lot of “if’s” and “but”? Are you waiting for the ultimate happiness to arrive one day?

Probably you are one of the many people who have outsourced your happiness in the pursuit of the most idealist life which may be just a step away if you really stop worrying too much and focus on small little things.

The belief in the notion that something which is external and too materialistic is very critical to our happiness could in fact be the single most reason for our unhappiness today. The whole trend of modern civilization is moving towards the freedom to pursue our happiness in the external world. And while that can at times lead to a very materially comforting lifestyle, it often also leads to a burdensome sense of needing to be in constant motion: acquiring the newest, the best things or experiences, working harder and harder to pay for it all, and feeling the intense anxiety when the overall societal material "pie" seems to be getting smaller.

Rather than looking outwards for our contentment, rather than outsourcing our happiness, we can find it by looking inwards. Rather than seeing pain and misery all around us, we can see joy and hope and contentment within us. And both paradoxically and wonderfully, as we engage in these practices and we reprogram our internal belief structures, the outside world begins to change to meet them.

So where is the problem? In my opinion, we have outsourced our happiness to the external materialist matter rather than looking at small day to day activities and inculcating positive change in our though process which can lead us to live a more happy and contented life. It’s time we take ownership of our own happiness and our emotional well being.

Here are a few simple yet powerful tips that you might consider including in your day to day life to march an inch closer your happiness. 

1.   Engage in the act of Giving: - Be it a simple help, a volunteering session, or just a social service, caring about others is fundamental to our happiness. It gives you a feeling of accomplishment making you feel happier and healthier. Remember, it’s not about donating money, its about investing time, sharing ideas and contributing to the little things.

2.   Appreciate: - We all have our own reasons to crib and cry for little things like the traffic, too much rain, routine delays and what not. Remember, there is more to life than just being worried about the little hick ups. We must learn to appreciate all the good things that have happen to us in life and be grateful. Appreciating small things make you feel good about your life and you start enjoying your life, controlling and avoiding your own negativity. We have so much more possession than many people out there, and yet we keep craving for more. The urge to have all the good things will never cease and it will keep increasing with each passing day.

3.   Choose a healthier lifestyle: - In today’s world, when everything seems to be rushing at a great speed, it’s good to go slow and realize that being healthy is more important than anything else. Our body and our mind are connected. Being active makes us happier as well as being good for our physical health. It instantly improves our mood and can even lift us out of a depression. We don’t all need to run marathons; there are simple things we can all do to be more active each day. We can also boost our well-being by unplugging from technology, getting outside and making sure we get enough sleep. It’s almost impossible to give up on the junk food entirely, so the alternate to that is balance it with fresh fruits and green veggies to the extent possible.

4.   Keep a positive approach towards life: - Positive emotions such as joy, gratitude, feeling contended, being inspiration and taking pride are some of the common themes here. Research has shown that experiencing them regularly creates an upward swing helping us build positive relations. It’s always a good idea to look at the glass half-full than the glass half-empty.

5.   Acceptance: - Remember, no one’s perfect in this world. It is okay to be what you are in the current state. Be comfortable with who you are. For me, the worst thing is when we compare our insides to other people’s outsides. Focusing too much on what we do not have rather than being happy about what we have makes it harder for us to be happy. Acceptance helps us to be kinder to ourselves when things go wrong and increase our enjoyment of life to some extent. It also gives us the power to accept others as they are.

6.   Spend your time and money on experiences rather than materials: - There is no shying away that we are becoming too materialistic with every passing year. But is it worth buying all the junk that gives us a momentarily happiness? Why not spend money in experiencing something which is precious and worthy of our time, all the memories which will last for our entire life? An HBR study has shows that people are happier when they spend time on holidays, recreational activity or any other experience than buying expensive stuff for possessions.

7.   Worry less about what others think about you: - Often, when we are concerned about what others think of us, we are taken out of the present moment to ponder over unnecessary thoughts. Plus, doing so does not help us to accomplish anything productive. Instead, we should rather do what we want to do, regardless of how others might perceive those actions. There are enough amazing people in the world who will love us for being the way we are, and we would never need to do anything extra to please them.

8.   Keep learning new things: - Learning is a great activity and affects our well-being in several positive ways. It gives us an opportunity to explore new ideas, hobbies, passion and helps us stay curious and engaged. It also gives us a sense of accomplishment and helps boost our self confidence and resilience. There are many ways to learn new things—not just through formal qualifications. We can share a skill with friends, join a club, learn to sing, play a new sport and so on.

I am sure there are many other simple and powerful things that can be added to the list. Would be happy to hear more.

Views expressed are personal. You can reach me on [email protected] #happinessisachoice #lifegoals