Have you got an anti-bucket list?

Recently, in a coaching session with a female executive client just turned 50, she --like many at various stages of life, was exploring a transition in her career and life.

As we discussed her numerous strengths and talents, it became evident that she had many possibilities ahead. So I asked her, "Have you considered creating an anti-bucket list?"

She hadn't heard of it, so I explained the concept.

Two weeks later, she reached out.

"Your anti-bucket list suggestion was exactly what I needed to hear."

What is an Anti-Bucket List?

At its core, an anti-bucket list is a compilation of things you never want to do or experience again. It’s a twist on the traditional “bucket list,” which is typically filled with dreams and goals to achieve before you "kick the bucket." Instead, the anti-bucket list focuses on identifying activities that deplete your energy, rob you of joy, or leave you frustrated.

For example, items on my current anti-bucket list include:

• Not speaking up on issues I'm passionate about
• Worrying about things I can't control
• Engaging in arguments on social media
• Saying yes to commitments I'll regret later
• Volunteering for organizations that don't value time or contributions
• Attending meetings that could be resolved via email
• Finishing books that bore me
• Spending time with negative people
• Handling tedious administrative tasks

Why Create an Anti-Bucket List?

One of the most influential books I’ve read recently is "Four Thousand Weeks" by Oliver Burkeman, which opens with:

"The average human lifespan is absurdly, insultingly brief… Assuming you live to be eighty, you’ll have had about four thousand weeks."

I did a quick calculation. Having turned 64 this year, if I live to 85 as I plan to, I have approximately 1,092 weeks left. To focus on what truly matters, I need to eliminate the activities that don't.

When and Where to Use Your Anti-Bucket List

As my client discovered, an anti-bucket list is invaluable during life transitions, such as:

• Planning for retirement or envisioning a fulfilling “unretirement”
• Exploring a new career or position, identifying deal-breakers like excessive travel or lack of growth opportunities
• Creating a side hustle or an encore business aligned with your current life goals
• Choosing vacation destinations or planning family gatherings

How to Create Your Anti-Bucket List

An anti-bucket list involves identifying what you no longer want in your life. Life is too short to engage in activities that drain you or to spend time with people who don’t respect you. Consider the following when creating your list:

• What experiences do you want to maximize in the future?
• What activities no longer excite you or bring you joy?
• What types of people do you prefer to be around?

Spend 15 minutes reflecting and jotting down experiences and tasks you don’t want to repeat. Share your list with a friend or partner and discuss why these items are on your list. Over the next two weeks, as you encounter draining or frustrating situations, note them and add them to your anti-bucket list.

Remember, this isn’t a one-time exercise. Each year, review and update your list as your goals and circumstances evolve.

Some might worry that creating an anti-bucket list means missing out on potentially enriching experiences.

However, given our limited time, it’s about prioritizing what truly enhances our lives.

Anti-bucket lists help us recognize the value of every moment, ensuring we spend our time in ways that genuinely enrich our lives.