Have you experienced a life-changing 'missed connection'?

Melinda stood at the bottom of the airport escalator, waiting for her husband to return from a business trip. The couple had been going through rocky times. She decided to warmly surprise him by meeting him at the terminal, rather than coldly wait for him in the parking lot with all the other husbands’ spouses.

While waiting, she pondered their on again-off again marriage. She pondered how they may have wed for all the wrong reasons – civic duty, family obligation, even social expectations – but certainly not true love. Still, she pondered the importance of honoring her wedding vows, trying to work things out in their relationship, and reconciling their differences. Again.

Everything would eventually be OK, she confidently told herself, and someday she would be able to handle her guilt, sadness, and sense of loss for following her head and not her heart. Someday, she assured herself, those emotions would finally fade away, like a bad accident in her car’s rearview mirror.

As her husband’s plane landed and passengers began exiting, Melinda reminded herself that she had plenty of other meaningful human connections in her life, including two children, countless friends, and a loving extended family. One such connection is with her brother, which has conquered the test of time, she fondly recalled. Several years ago when her brother and his wife expected their first child, the baby died one week before delivery. Melinda's brother called her and for the next hour the two siblings said nothing to each other -- they just remained on the line for each other in silence. They didn't need to say anything. They just needed to share in that pain. 

Someday, she quietly told herself, she’ll share a similar relationship with her husband. Someday, they’ll share a connection that’s blanketed in love and trust, not hurt and pain. Someday. 

Finally, her husband appeared at the top of the escalator. He saw her. She saw him. Their eyes met. Her heart raced. And he immediately gave her a half-hearted smile – the one he keeps for her in his back pocket, the one that conveys politeness not warmth, the one that comes distilled of any passion. Melinda knew that smile all too well. She loathed it. Yet, as so many spouses do, she instinctively returned it back to him. Her shoulders shrugged. Her heart dipped. Her hope faded. She knew right there that there would be no warm embrace like she imagined. There would be no tight hugs like she had dreamed. There would be no passionate kisses, like she had rehearsed in her mind. No, he simply exhaled and slowly descended toward her.

This was the precise moment when Melinda experienced the epiphany of a “missed connection” in her young life. This is when she found out that a missed connection can be just as powerful as a cherished connection, like with her brother. This is when she realized that a missed connection can oh-so-easily crystallize into a life-long regret. And, unlike the arriving and departing airplanes that circled above Melinda that day, these regrets have a way of staying grounded for years, even decades, through the fog of despair, the storm of misgivings, or the blizzard of routine habits. 

This is when she exhaled, forced a fake smile, and thought to herself, "I’m at the wrong airport waiting for the wrong person."

(This is an excerpt from my first book, "Connections: EveryONE Happens for a Reason." If you'd like a signed copy, for $15, just message me.)