Have You Ever Wondered "What's Life Like For the Single Girl?"

?? I think most ladies and men would agree....We are all looking for a lifetime love, filled with admiration for each other, respect for one another, passion, honor, and integrity. Women in particular, at least me, want a Man who doesn't do drugs, drinks only socially/occasionally, has his life together, is sweet through and through, who knows it's wrong to be abusive in any way, is not looking at porn, into filth of any kind, doesn't lie, cheat or steal, can apologize when he's messed up, has no problem saying I love you and comes with glowing reviews-from family or friends. It's not too much to ask...is it?

Well...here's a bit about me. I grew up reading Little House on the Prairie. I watched Wild Kingdom with Marlin Perkins, Cowboy Westerns, Laura Ingalls Wilder AKA Half Pint, and the olden Wonderful World of Disney, when it was movies like Old Yeller and Bambi. I have a much harder time in this fast paced, often immoral, world we live in.

?? I married at 19, had 2 wonderful son's. The last time I saw him, he said "I want to sit on a swing on the front porch with you when we are 90 and still be holding your hand." He died in a terrible accident and that can now never happen.

?? I later married a man and it ended in divorce. I don't totally blame him. I will say, I was put through more than any one person should be and had given up. But something in me said to try again (I think that is part of being a woman), and I did and at that point he had left the building for good, we had two beautiful son's together, but it was over. I'm still friends with him today. I am not one of those people that believes you should punish them forever for what they did. My son's and I were devastated for several years but we prevailed.

I stayed alone, no really, I stayed totally alone for 3 and a 1/2 years. I didn't date anyone at all. I focussed solely on rebuilding my son's and my life.

The first man I dated, I met through social media and we had very simple communications for about 3 years. He had made mention that he was a single father of 3 grown daughters. I sent him a message in January 2013 that said "too bad you didn't live closer, it would be nice to see if we were compatible." He contacted me the next day. He actually came to see me about 6 months later. We hit it off. He was probably the kindest man i've ever met. In 2015 however, he started behaving terribly. He had had injuries from his firefighter days that were irreparable. He was on painkillers. In 2015 he started overdoing his prescription and without telling the ugly details, I told him he needed to go and that I couldn't have that around me or my son's. When he had been gone a month his mother called me and told me how much he loved me, that he was "terrible sick and would I please call him". I did. I got him to go to the doctor and he was diagnosed with esophageal cancer. I told him if he wanted to come back i'd take care of him while he battled it and we'd do natural things and he could do whatever treatments the doctors wanted him to. His insurance would not cover him out of state so he stayed where he was, we talked often. I understood that his prescription overloading was simply masking the pain from the cancer-even he had not understood that when he was doing it. 1 year after his battle was realized, he was laid to rest. I found out from his mom that he told her he was going to beat it and ask me to marry him. The week before he died, I don't think we ever laughed so hard or had ever had a better conversation. He joked that I had to stop, that his abs were hurting because he was laughing so hard. My son's said they'd never seen a man so in love with me and that he would have moved the world if he could. My dad said he was probably the nicest man he'd ever met. It was a sad time. ??

The Magic Of Beginnings....or was it??

In the beginning of 2016, I was introduced to a man that came by referral. I thought he was quirky and even hung up on him in an early conversation -there were red flags. He once told me "he was a mirror and a magnet". I had no idea what that really meant. Everything I did was the most amazing to him, he told me everything a girl would want to hear, I slowly let my guard down. I was lonely and he was giving me all the attention and then some, that I could handle. We met after 3 months of conversations. He was charming in many ways, but something was never quite right. I ignored my own instincts. He said "marry me" hundreds of times, he told it to people in his town, his mother, and the one that initially introduced us. He said that I made him well. He said he had a Dr. Jekyll Mr. Hyde side to him and that he was on the mend ??. He said that I was quite possibly the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. In the context he said it, I believed he meant it. I fell in love with the man I thought he was, the sweet side. Over time it changed. I saw the dark side that he had mentioned to me and others. It came out of nowhere, I now knew what he meant about Mr. Hyde. All of a sudden everything he loved, he now hated. It was a complete flip. I believe I had stayed longer than I should have because of the nurturer in me. I had thought that ending it with him, because he had quirks, wasn't ok. I thought if I had a child that had something debilitating, would I just give up or abandon them? The answer was no. I'm going to leave out the ugly details but it became obvious to all, I could not save this no matter what I tried and it was over. He had become abusive in every sense of the word. Somewhere in that I had given him my heart. My heart is still torn up. Losing love is like death. When you love someone so much and no matter what, you can't fix them and it comes down to staying in a toxic relationship OR you living your life, I chose life. A psychologist friend on social media told me she thought he was a sociopath others said narcissist. Either way, I wish he'd get help but most don't and all the books say they can't be fixed, especially if they are not even willing to admit there is a problem in the first place. These types are the ones that destroy your heart the most, at least that was my experience. I joined a support group to gain understanding of his disorder and a whole new world was opened to me. I learned the things I experienced were classic narcissist patterns. The abuse with no remorse is what made him a sociopath. The person I met was not who he really was, I gotta give it to him...he warned me right up front. Even he knew he wasn't 'right'. Even he knew, from his past patterns with others, his dark side would show sooner or later. With a heart completely broken, lesson learned. ??

Side note-the one who introduced us...swears he didn't know the insane side of this guy and hadn't really seen him in years. Also of note...the man had never been married and no kids. Over time he would mention some of his ex relationships and said each one was crazy (a sign).

Since July of last year-i went out on a few dates and I can not believe some of the things I have experienced. I have had an open mind. I did not want to be too judgmental prior to the dates. I believe love can be found in any shape or size. It really isn't about looks as you'll see, for me, it's completely about what their heart and mind is. And suddenly it's time to start something new...enjoy my journey...

?? #1 The Successful Businessman... He invited me to a birthday party. I said yes. He drank the entire night. I had planned on taking the keys at the end. He told me the last 2 hours of the party he was drinking water. I knew for sure it was a lie when he got behind the wheel. He was driving 80+ mph down the freeway swerving. I told him to pull over I was driving, he argued it and slowed way down. But was unwilling to let me drive. I never saw him again.

?? #2 The Business Associate age 58... A man I did business with - I noticed that every time we met-he was either already drinking heavy alcohol or did during the meal. After we had met up at restaurants approximately 10 times, he decided it was time to attempt to kiss me romantically. I stopped him and said I wasn't 'that girl'. He told me "well the next date I expect a proper kiss, there was no other date. While I was traveling, he unexpectedly called me and told me he was very attracted to me and he felt like he knew what I wanted and he'd like me to consider talking to him about a long term future together. He was and is looking for a wife. But the drinking was an obvious issue. I felt we were friends-there were no sparks, there was no more meeting up.

?? #3 The Developer age 52. I had known this business professional for approximately 5 years. I'd known of him having a tumultuous relationship with a woman and he always blamed her. He was pretty relentless in asking me out. I really had no attraction so I had continued to say no. I was so tired of staying home on Fridays/Saturdays that I finally said yes. He flew here and took me to dinner. We had a wonderful fun and funny time. We parted ways after dinner as I was leaving town the next day on a business trip and had to be up early. Once I got to my destination I was busy from the moment I landed. I didn't even have time to call my 'favorite people', my kids, let alone him. So after a couple of days #3 was messaging and was very upset I hadn't reached out. He thought that I would 'have at least called to say goodnight and recap each other's days'. But because I hadn't reached to him our conversation was brief and he said 'you are not the right girl for me right now'. I hung up (thinking i just dodged a bullet with this guy) and never thought about him again. I didn't want to deal with drama so that was the end of it for me. No big deal. Months later I was in Mexico and he sends me this '??'. I asked him what was up and he said he really wanted to see me. UMMM no, not a chance.

?? #4 The Attorney-he was asking way too serious questions for a first dinner date. 53 years old and never married. Throughout the entire evening, he was a rubbernecking fool over very young females. He made several attempts to see me again. I said I wasn't interested and I wasn't. For those that like to 'rubberneck', you should just stay single. You have no business trying to lock one female into a relationship while you are still doing that. No need to waste anyone's time. SMH

?? #5 The NJ High Rise Condo Developer... Was an ok evening, dinner at an organic restaurant, which was definitely my preference. It was mostly a Q and A session, not exciting and not not exciting. He asked me out a 2nd time. He invited me to his really breathtaking penthouse condo which overlooked the ocean in Ft. Lauderdale. He told me he'd had his staff cater it with the most beautiful layout of food. I was nervous to be there but the condo staff knew who I was as I had to check in and the elevator opened to his floor only and he kept his door open the entire time, I let my son's and a couple of friends know my location. I also sent his photo over to one of my friends so she'd know what he looked like. The evening started nice but then he attempted to make a move on me, why? I never once let on that would be ok (note to self never go to their place as it may be perceived that you are willing for more). He seemed like this was routine for him. I told him no and never saw him again. There was something totally untrustable there. I decided to go with my instincts. He called many times, I stuck to my gut feelings.

?? #6a The Younger Man... I went to dinner with a bright 34 yr. old investment banker from Texas. Hmmm was too young-no real life experience so the conversation was nice but empty. He still messages me and has tried to see me on several occasions, we are friends but I just can't go there. He was very nice but I'm definitely looking for someone that can relate more with me in conversation. #6b A 2nd man a videographer for some well known reality series, also 34, with a very similar outcome. I've ruled out this age range for sure.

?? #7 The Gorgeous Argentinian... I was out one night having dinner in bustling Brickell with one of my girl friends. A VERY beautiful 43 yr. old man had walked by the restaurant earlier and gave me a total meltdown staredown. An hour or so later he walked by again and spoke to me in Spanish. He told my friend that he would love to take me out and that he thought I was so beautiful etc. and would she please translate that to me. He was an international investment banker. He was interesting and so handsome and sweet to boot. I did meet him for 'tapas' on date one. We had a really wonderful time. We met at the top of a fun restaurant in Brickell and parted ways from there as well, I was hopeful! BUT the red flag came on date 2 when we had left the restaurant and were headed out and he pointed out a lingerie store. I like people to show me 'who they are' so I suggested that if he wanted to, we could go in. He immediately asked the sales clerk 'if this was the new fall collection'. I thought wow i'm a woman and have NEVER done that in my entire life! ha He told me that I could have anything in the store and he encouraged me to try it on, he seemed like a veteran at this. He wanted to come to the dressing room and watch and told me so. I politely said no. I asked him as he was walking me to my car, how he even knew to ask the question about the 'fall collection'. He replied that 'somehow he had gotten on their mailing list'. lol Lie. Umm he put himself there and clearly puts in time on it. That was the last time I saw him. He called many times and invited me on what seemed to be amazing trips to Argentina, Bolivia, and Columbia. I just couldn't do it. He was definitely a player and I wasn't going to play. Bummer too because I really want to go to those places!

*Last year...I went to a party of some friends that had over 1000 people that they knew there. I asked both the husband and the wife-who had the party "if there was anyone in here that they thought was a good man that would be compatible with me." They both said no, that everyone they knew pretty much had issues. What is wrong with this world?

?? #8 The Athlete (He's a current Olympic Team Member-i'm purposely not saying what)... This man reached out to me on FB. 51 yrs, not married/no kids. He told me repeatedly that 'he was going to sweep me off my feet'. I actually told him many times that I wasn't interested, he persisted with this whole sweep me off my feet thing. I didn't know if i'd ever experienced that in my life so I finally after 7 months said ok. He was from out of the country. He flew to America. Made one stop up in Alabama and then rented a car to come all the way down-10 hour drive at least. I didn't know him so I was very careful and ubered to meet him-he said he was at the Ritz Carlton in Coconut Grove. I met him in the lobby. He said he wanted to show me something. But let me backtrack. IF you were meeting the woman that you told your brother you were 'going to marry' (he did this) then wouldn't you clean up? look nice? etc? He did not. He wore what appeared to be 20 year old clothes. First impression. He took me on a walk to a marina-for his interests in sailing. He had no plans of any kind prepared. He asked me what I wanted to do...wow now sweeping me off my feet with 7-8 months of preparation was now...on me. So I just suggested a nearby within walking distance, outdoor restaurant. He made an attempt to hold my hand, I said no. He then told me he wasn't staying at the Ritz-he merely parked there, he had no place to stay (he had originally mentioned could I let him sleep at my place-ummm insane NO). He didn't want this day to end and I had said I needed to go (from that restaurant). He said please go to dinner with him. He continued to offer me a ride-but I protect my home domain. My son's are there. I met him at another restaurant a few hours later, however before that, he was literally blowing up my text message that he wanted to order me a drink 'before I got there'. Ummmmm are you crazy??? No way. So he can 'mickey' it? Maybe he had no plan for that but as a woman you take no chances. I literally ignored over 20 messages regarding that AND when I arrived again-thanks to LYFT (i didn't want him to see what vehicle I drove-he seemed persistent on his attempts to come to my home/know where I lived), the first thing he said was "I wanted to order your drink and have it ready for you." I'm sure he's a nice guy, but not the guy for me, I told him that. He didn't want to hear it and continued messaging even after that.

??#9, Most recent date (came recommended) has risen to unexplainable notariety from England and now traveling America to establish business relationship with names you would definitely know if I mentioned them. He was more in love with himself than any woman could ever be. Half way through the dinner he grabbed my hand and told me that he really enjoyed my company and was excited to explore a future with me. That was date one and last date all wrapped into one.

Take note...

A date is not an invitation to go to bed or even hold my hand(I want to hold the hand of my love). Some women do this but I believe it's just not something to be given to just anyone. I want it to be special. I'm not a prude, i'm just a woman who knows exactly what she wants. I've realized the ones that I actually fell in love with, took the time to talk and we got to know each other long before a meeting.

I have been single for over a year. I haven't really given this a huge effort. My kids said i'm not going to find someone through osmosis. They want me to get out more. I haven't made a serious effort because I work a lot and I love being with my kids, there's no drama there. I've been happy immersing in my son's life and mine. But now they are getting older and the last one is nearing leaving the nest. It's made me look within and decide I most definitely want to spend this life with someone i'm madly in love with.

?? There is nothing like love. It's one of the most beautiful gifts we have in this life.

????If you think you know someone that is a good good good man and has his life more than together. I might like to meet him. Do you think you know him?

?? What about me? I'm a talk show host and have been for 7 years. I'm a traditional Doctor of Naturopathy, I love what I do. I love the outdoors, the ocean, the sand, the sun. I'm easy to get along with. I don't want drama or anything negative around me. I really only want to meet a sweet and genuine guy. I want him to have his life together. Does he exist? If so, introduce us. I know my fragile heart doesn't need another heartbreak. In an act of self preservation, when I see a trait I know I can not tolerate, I just save everyone time and don't see someone a 2nd or 3rd time. I still hold on to the belief that soul mates and true genuine love exists. I promise myself that I will never give up on finding it. 

• Survival Tips.
• Keep in mind that you can be lonelier in the wrong relationship than you ever can be as a single girl!
• Refuse to lower your standards to accomodate those who refuse to raise theirs
• Perhaps when you thought you weren't good enough, the truth was that you were overqualified
• The most powerless thing you can do is let an inconsistent guy know you will stay, waiting for him to reach the potential he doesn't choose to have. (for me this is mostly about morals)
• Don't settle. If you think you are lonely now, it will be far more lonely if you are with the wrong person.
• True love makes you more of who you are, not less. Never allow someone to tear you down. Never demean you. And Never allow abuse of any kind.

I love and believe in this quote..."Darkness thought it had her but it did not know her God. It did not know the story God was giving her to tell."

Rise Up - lead your life with enthusiasm, happiness and love!

~Randi Shannon

Want to reach Randi call her voicemail 319-804-9163.

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Note-Some details left out intentionally to protect the identity of the person.

BAD TRAITS/GOOD TRAITS

NO drinkers, druggers, narcissists, cannot be into porn/filth at all, no sociopaths, or caustic personality types, please. They must be someone you really do know. Most of all their heart needs to be good. Does he exist?

A sense of humor without trying to always be the center of attention or the class clown is a nice thing...

The man in this video-is hilarious. By his leaning in and turning towards her he showed how genuinely he wanted to answer her question and he was a super great sport about it. Wonderful characteristics. ????

https://www.facebook.com/gorandishannon/posts/10156767972141115?__xts__[0]=68.ARCOpbI-W4Wxc95kutMVFsohvyyPdOPE7OXE6g2xsypRull-7FkVNet504hNQBOHtENcDpag6mLUZDz7ScD5PpoERqxd1_DOiPX3zYn8d1JsiW9oa459WANwQ9vWVYbLcRzNFcNYLNw8QBD4IgUxLkj8Dznu1m5EHe2cMsNahfKQAdpYzEDK0Ik&__tn__=-R

Even if you can't sing is also a great thing -see this sweet attempt (you might need to be my fb friend to view those)

https://www.facebook.com/gorandishannon/posts/10156775256011115

https://thebodycan.com/30-day-total-health-makeover/ 319-804-9163