Have You Ever Gotten Really Bad News?
Mike Staver, CSP, CPAE
High Performance Coach + Keynote Speaker I Bridging the gap between good intentions and outstanding results I Author of Leadership Isn't for Cowards I Staver Coaching Certification
2014 was (to put it mildly) a very difficult year for me. Then, in January 2015, I got a call sharing some bad news. It struck me how relieved I was to hear this bad news. When I thought about why I felt so relieved, I realized that compared to the news I actually expected and was assured from numerous sources I would likely get, this news was much, much better - even though it was pretty bad news.
We have all heard the cliche "it's all relative." And I suppose in some ways it really is, but to me that reduces the reality of bad news or difficult situations. In my circumstances it was about perspective. Not minimizing or rationalizing, but rather getting a clear perspective on the issues I was dealing with.
There are two lessons to be learned. First, it's important to have clarity when faced with challenging or bad news. Look at the entire picture; not just part of it. Second, make sure you are giving equal attention to all the possibilities. Frankly, despite the fact that I am generally balanced in my view, I had resigned myself to the worst possible outcome. As it turned out, it was about the middle worst (how's that for bad grammar?)
All of us face difficulty. Making lemonade out of lemons is not usually possible despite what the happy-talk crowd wants you to believe. When life hands you lemons they are still sour. I don't care what you make of them!
But, here are some steps to maintain perspective:
- Write down or think about all possibilities. The best case, the worst case and the most likely case.
- Remember it's not over until it's over. A day at a time may be OK but, in my case, it was often just an hour at a time. Stay fully in the present and deal with what's in front of you right now.
- Eliminate negative distractions, people, events and entertainment - anything that creates negative energy.
- Remind yourself it's temporary most of the time.
- It's supposed to be uncomfortable.
I invite you to share you thoughts on other techniques you use to maintain perspective during tough times.
Author at CheriLynns
9 年Mike, my husband and I have been struggling with sad news. Each hurtle we cross we learn more about ourselves. I agree with Debra as you must reach out for help to reach acceptance. I live in the moment and when all of our moments are sad we make happy moments, and insist on laughing everyday.
Helping businesses achieve their goals
9 年Mike, I have faced some pretty difficult circumstances these past few years as well, and in every case, there have been positive outcomes that I believe resulted from my willingness to be vulnerable and ask for help or support.