Have You Ever Felt Fear? Here Is How To Overcome It!

Have you ever felt fear? Many leaders pretend they are incredibly controlled,?resilient and?confident .?The perceived ideal image is for them to show that they do not feel fear.?

Want to know the truth? I have never met anyone who doesn't face fear.

Every day, I work with clients, teams, associates and leaders who feel fear. Many don’t want to discuss or talk about the fear. Others’ don’t know how to move through the fear. It takes?vulnerability ?to admit and talk about fears.?

The biggest fear of all - other than speaking in public (I have been there!) or failing big time (been there numerous times) is that I don't know if the actions I take will create the desired results that I want.?

What if I fail, stuff up, look stupid, make mistakes – the list of fears the brain can accumulate can be really consuming!?Most of them are literally not even REAL (FEAR - false evidence appearing real!)....

Am I not alone? To overcome these fears and thoughts takes so much courage .?

Every entrepreneur, leader, or executive is afraid of something. That fear is always shown in behaviour and mindset. It is shown by the way they speak to or behave with their teams or the energy they give out at work.

No matter how it is shown, fear is real.

Everyone knows fear affects your life.

Fear affects opportunities, relationships, revenue, motivation, performance, and employee morale. In turn, it can affect your dreams, goals and life.

Fear is formed when the mind focuses on the uncertainty of future outcomes. Confidence comes from awareness of all the facts along with a belief in a positive outcome, no matter the uncertainty present.

The good thing is there's some research from MIT that shows you exactly how to overcome fear with some interesting research that started with multi-tasking.

Earl?Miller is a cognitive specialist and neuroscience professor at MIT.?His research ?found that humans couldn’t focus on more than one thing at a time. Most of the application of his research has focused on our inability to multitask and how to increase brainpower. Yet, when you understand that to feel fear you have to consciously think about it, then you can take the research and apply it to almost any situation. This does not apply to unconscious or instant fear, fear that is an emotion. This research applies to the main type of fear we feel daily, which is conscious fear based on our expectations and perceptions.

Since our brains only can consciously focus on one thing at a time, once you are in the act of doing, your fear fades away. Therefore, taking action reduces conscious fear.

Since fear paralyses, how do you take action? The application of Miller's research requires a somewhat unique approach to fear. This is why commitment is so important.

Once you commit to something, nothing else matters.

If you want to take action, which will eliminate fear, the only thing you need to do is make a commitment. Why? Commitment means an action is taking place and your brain is focusing on something else besides the fear.

This is true when I first wanted to start my company, I was petrified. I used to think about it like Jumping of a Cliff (now a chapter in my first book?Leadership Attitude ). The one thing that helped me have the courage to jump off and move through the fear was commitment and action. I am now about to embark on another path and journey with my business and brand and for months I have been resisting it because of fear. I get it. Today there is now nothing stopping me. This is why I love speaking and coaching as I will do anything to help someone achieve what they want and be the best versions of them. I ask them commit and I am committed to them.

Commitment always leads to confidence; it is a cycle. Yes I know. Action creates success and success will?create?confidence. If you don't have confidence, take action, and the confidence will come because you will find success because you will not be thinking about fear.

All fear is neutralized when commitment is proven through action. Action breeds confidence. This is how your brain works.

If you need help with commitment and action, let me share some of my favourite tips –?

·??????Think about where the FEAR comes from – maybe something from childhood? Find out where it comes from and remember you are not that child anymore or that previous experience cannot harm you again.?

·??????Squash ANTs – if you have Automatic Negative Thoughts, you are the Director of your Brain and get them off the stage.

·??????Visualise what you want, write it down, create vision boards and commit to one action per day to make it happen.

·??????Practice Mindfulness – if you are feeling anxious and fear about something, sit with it for a moment, breathe and remember not to judge the feelings or thoughts. Fear is an emotion, and you can change your emotions.?

·??????Daily Affirmations (I have plenty on my mirror) – these are powerful and talk to yourself like you would someone you love. Even if it feels fake, you can trick the brain and you will soon start to feel what you are saying.?

·??????Surround yourself with a tribe – make sure you have amazing people who love and support you and only want the best for you. Tell them about your fears and commitments and ask for help.

·??????Do the 5 Second Rule which is to count to five and just do it – this is Mel Robbins book.?

·??????Don’t die wondering – don’t get to your death bed (sorry for being so morbid) and regret that you didn’t do it. Don’t let the fear stop you from living and life a life you truly want.

·??????Just do it and Just Rock It! – yes feel the fear and just do it. And?just rock it ?– and be the best version of you. What is stopping you? Only you are stopping you and you can do it!

See below some more amazing techniques around fear mastery and getting to courage!

Fear Mastery

At some point in our lives, we will feel and come face-to-face with fear. There’s no running and hiding from it, fear is a normal human emotion that you need to face head on. We shouldn’t be afraid or even embarrassed to talk about the emotion, stress and anxiety that comes with fear. When it comes to fear, the conflict of so many emotions at one time can make it tough to figure out how to cope with these types of feelings and what to do.

All leaders, yes even world leaders, feel fear at the best and worst of times such as Abraham Lincoln, Rosa Parks, Winston Churchill and Ernest Shackleton. Many leaders feel like the weight of the world is on their shoulders, especially when there are so many people who depend on them in their personal and professional lives. If you’re the one leading a team, you may be fearful of failure, the loss of jobs or coping with the chaos of a natural disaster or pandemic. There are so many different types of fears, but there are many ways of using fear to your benefit or learning how to overcome the fear that you are facing in your leadership role.

Once you acknowledge that what you are feeling is fear, the next step is to figure out how you can be resilient as a courageous leader and handle these emotional struggles at work. This way you can show your team members that they have nothing to fear and you can show yourself that you CAN overcome your fears.?

Fear is one of the most studied emotions from a neuroscience perspective and for decades researchers have been trying to understand the network of brain regions which are involved not only in the feeling of fear, but in the process of learning what should be feared, and what shouldn’t be feared.

For example, studies have shown the neurobiological mechanisms which take place when you learn, either slowly over time, or suddenly, what is fearful. Similarly, researchers have also revealed the neurobiological processes necessary for “extinguishing” this fear – in other words re-learning that what you think is scary, isn’t scary anymore.

Because courage isn’t the absence of fear, but the mastery of fear....

Let’s get to work! Download your?Fear Mastery Worksheet ?here.

F - Name the FEAR and FEELING around it

Grab a piece of paper or download our?Fear Mastery Worksheet ?and make a list. Write down your fears with bullet points in front of each fear. Next to them write down what sort of feelings you have when you experience these fears. List as many as you need.

For example

THE FEAR:

·?????I am going to fail as a new leader and manager.

THE FEELINGS

·?????I feel like I am not good enough

·?????I feel alone

Once you have done this, make three more lists and put the below headings on each list.

·?????Define?— What are the worst things could happen?

·?????Prevent?— How do I prevent each from happening?

·?????Repair?— If the worst happens, how can I fix it?

E - What EVIDENCE do you have that is it real and EXPERIENCES of that FEAR

Make a list of the times when you’ve experienced those fears and what happened when those fears came to pass. Be honest with yourself, don’t feel afraid to write down your fears.

A - What ACTIONS can you take to overcome it and ATTITUDE you can reframe around it

Make another list with each fear listed (with bullet points) and write down 2 – 4 actions you can take to overcome this particular fear. Then next to each of these, write down what sort of attitude you would like to have when experiencing these fears.

R - What RESULTS would you love to see in 1-, 3- or 5-years' time?

Then for your last list, separate the page into sections with 1, 3 and 5 years as headings. Then list 2- 4 results under each heading. These points are what you would like to see as a result of the actions you are taking to overcome your fears. Where do you see yourself in the future after overcoming or learning how to cope with a fear. Do you see yourself getting less stressed or anxious? Or do you hope it will make you a more empathetic and courageous leader?

By?Sonia McDonald ?– CEO Of?LeadershipHQ ?And?McDonald Inc. ?Leadership Coach, Global Keynote Speaker, Entrepreneur, CEO And Award Winning Author.

Sonia McDonald is changing the face of leadership across the globe. She believes we should lead with kindness and courage, from the heart, and is known for her mantra ‘Just Lead’. She leads by example in all these areas and through her transformational coaching, leadership training programs and cultural transformation for organisations and encourages others to do the same. Sonia has helped thousands of people on their leadership journey to become the best version of themselves and in turn, inspire and bring out the best in others.

Sonia is a founder and CEO of?McDonald Inc .,?LeadershipHQ ?and?Global Outstanding Leadership Awards ?and?2022 Courage Conference . For more than 25 years, Sonia has been on the front lines of leadership and she is beyond committed to her mission around building a world of great leaders.

She has held leadership positions worldwide and through experience, research and study come to realise what it takes to be a truly great leader. She has been recognised by Richtopia as One of the Top 250 Influential Women across the Globe and Top 100 Australian Entrepreneurs.

Sonia has an ability to speak bravely and authentically about her own development as a leader, personal and career challenges in a way which resonates with her audience. She is a leading coach, an award-winning published author of newly released?First Comes Courage, Leadership Attitude and Just Rock It! ?and has become an in-demand motivational keynote speaker and facilitator on leadership, kindness and courage.

Sonia has become recognised for her commentary around the topic of leadership, kindness, empathy and courage as well as building outstanding leadership across the Globe.??