Have you considered how your listening skills impacts your life?

A lot of us don’t think much about our ability to listen for connection. We want to connect with people, specially those who are important to us (family, friends, co-workers, bosses, etc.), sometimes on a deeper level and yet, most of the time we are in our own heads.

A lot of us don’t even pay attention to our inner voices and are not able to connect even with ourselves. Listening is different than hearing. When we truly listen, we become ?able to read the signs that a lot of times are not aligned with what is inside our heads.

Truly listening requires openness and curiosity. Openness for a perspective that might be different than your own and a curiosity to understand “why” the other person sees a particular situation different than you.

A lot of times our “egos” get in the way of paying true attention to the other part. We have a natural need to be right. But how is that helping you in your life?

We can easily become blind to the signals around us by thinking that our way is the right way and sometimes the only way. Our lenses are the only ones that provides clarity and accuracy.

Good communication requires words coming out of our months in a clear way but also getting into our ears. That’s how we connect with our partners, kids, friends, leaders, co-workers and everybody else in our lives. A lot of times we want to be good communicators as long as we are the ones doing the talk.

Obviously, I am a work in progress. No of us are done with the art of communicating well. I communicate with a lot of people in my day to day, different people, my neighbors included.

I can’t help but notice how feeding our egos with the need to be right can affect us in a negative way without us even noticing.

I heard an interesting question in a podcast a few weeks ago: If you had to eat every word you spoke in a day, would you be nurtured or poisoned? – Sometimes those words are the ones you speak to yourself, in your own head.

Listening … truly listening, it is not an easy task. It requires intention. The question is: what is the intention? We need to get the right answer to this question first. Based on what I’ve listened and seen throughout the years, I’d say, listen for the emotions first without letting your own getting in the way. It requires practice.

Every day we have opportunities to bring out our best selves, make a difference in somebody’s life and in our own. All we need to do is listen. There is always something in there for us to learn, about others and ourselves. That's how we can connect, include, lead, manage and have an impact all relationships that matter in our lives.

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