Have I been here before?

I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I live a great life and still manage to be ungrateful.?

I regularly entertain the illusion that what I really need is going to be found just after I’ve dealt with the latest thing that’s bothering me.? That I’m meant to find contentment in a magical time that exists right after I chase up the last of my overdue invoices, have the last of my difficult conversations and plan out the perfect calendar. But you know how it really goes. The invoices get chased up, only for more to emerge. The difficult conversations get dealt with, only for new situations to arise that require yet more of the same. And the perfect calendar? Come on, we all know that doesn’t exist.?

When I get caught in this loop I forget to take stock and appreciate what I’ve got. Even worse, I forget how far I’ve come. The problem that I struggled with a week ago has been resolved, some new skill or experience acquired, but I barely remember this as I press on to the next thing.?

Your career as a psychologist can be like this too. You swear you’ll really enjoy the journey once the stress of university is over. But then you finish university, start your internship and tell yourself that freedom really begins once you’re fully registered. You arrive there only to feel that once you specialize, move into private practice or get the senior psychologist role, then you’ll have finally achieved the milestone that let’s you know you’ve truly arrived. But without perspective, none of this is enough and the cycle continues.?

So to gain some of that much-needed perspective, I’ve been asking myself this question lately:?

Have I been here before?

I usually find the process that is unfolding is one that I’ve dealt with before. Sure the content might be different, but the struggle is the same. Last week it might have been worrying about money, this week it might have been wondering if I’m skilled enough. And when I can see that it’s all the same process of feeling like it's not quite enough, I get to relax. I make room for my struggles and hold them lightly. Better yet, in making room for my struggles I also make room for my achievements, my joy, my purpose. I don’t have to wait till the negative things go away to look around and appreciate what’s good in my life, both professionally and personally.?

I encourage you try this with your career, no matter how far along you are. You’ll come to recognize that even with a month of experience as a psychologist, you've achieved things you thought you couldn't. And when you take a perspective like this you open the door for gratitude.