Have a Hard Time Following Their Heart Because You’re Worried What Your Family Will Think??
Denise Soler Cox
Teaching Organizations How To Create A High Quality Culture? Where Everyone Feels Like They Belong - Award-Winning Filmmaker, Speaker & Author WHAT WILL THEY SAY (Simon & Schuster 2026).
Did you know most Latinos have a hard time following their heart because they’re worried about what their family will think?
Yep! It’s true.
Latino/a/x culture is what's called a collective culture meaning we prioritize the group (family) over the self. While mainstream US culture (based on Northern European culture/values) is more self-reliant meaning, the focus is on the individual.
Depending on where you’re from, you will literally think one way of being is right, and the other one is wrong. (This is how we begin to discern our belief systems which I’ll go into on another post this week.)
So you can begin to understand that growing up bicultural can lead to all kinds of internal struggles like...
?? There’s always a shortcoming: You’re Spanish isn’t good enough. You’re acting like a “gringo” you’re not a “real” Latino ?? (my personal fav) etc.
It becomes exhausting to feel like you always have to prove yourself and it often leads to paralyzing self-doubt.
For a lot of Latinos, our self-worth is tied to productivity. It’s SO hard to sit back and just feel proud of yourself.?
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One of my biggest personal insights is when I realized that I’d been focusing on my joy coming AFTER the attainment of a big achievement instead of taking time to be grateful and allowing myself to experience joy in the moment.
Does following your heart feel like rejecting your family? Doing your own thing can often feel like you’re betraying them. And it takes a profound identity shift to realize that following your heart has zero to do with them.
Bottom line: No one else is wearing your shoes. They’re not you. They’re not the ones that have to live with the consequences of the decisions you make.
It’s ok to act and think for yourself. In fact, this is how you actually bring your best self to the people you love.
Just some food for thought.
So what’s the shocking thing I did? I decided to change my mind about what it means to follow my heart - and you can too!
I’d love to hear about the last time you listened to your heart!
New Author at Rosales Mavericks Publishing Studio (RMPStudio)
3 年I decided to retire from my 35 years as a RN in 2020- right in the middle of the pandemic and I am now an author/writer in my retirement! I am a co-author in the Latinas 100: Leaving a Legacy & Inspiring the Next Generation, vol 2 launching next month. I am blessed to have the support of my daughter Taina C. and Denise Soler Cox (she, her, ella) and ??Adriana Rosales??
Author | Publisher | Forbes Coaches Council | Certified HeartMath?Coach | John Maxwell Trainer | Founder of LATINAS100? |USAF Veteran | Series "The Latina Alchemist?" | #Latinas100
3 年Thanks for sharing this! Yes! for most Latinos they take in to account what the family thinks~ I'm a bit of and odd ball because I chose at a very early age I did not care about how my family perceived me and I had to only follow my heart. This made me the black sheep of the family the "revelde" the "creida". I struggled with getting told by my family that I was "whitewashed". The way I saw it was that I was being me and I'm a unique like most ?'s. Ni de Mexico ni de America so, I just did whatever I wanted and never followed societies rule book or my families. I did not finish college, I did not believe in getting married, I did not think that getting a traditional job was a long term solution and I looked the other way with ease and grace when I was repeatedly told I had to teach my children Spanish or else it would disgrace my family. I still get judged I'm ok with that! I made out well with following my heart! I think it's the only way to live! The key is that we must overrule the traditions and established status quo to really get to the heart of things and you can do it with compassion and forgiveness because in the end it's about loving each other and respecting and honoring each other