Have a case of the Holiday Blues? Here's what it is and what you can do
Jacomien Bezuidenhout
Sounding board & accountability partner - let's find your true answers
Want a break from the festive season? You are not alone!
Practically everywhere you turn, you are told that the festive season is a time to be merry and joyous and just have a grand old time. For some people, that is exactly it, and that's great, but for quite a lot of people, that is simply not the case. In fact, it's a well-known phenomenon called Holiday Blues.??
Before we get into anything else, don't beat yourself up for not feeling the "holiday high". It's OK not to be OK. You are feeling the way you do because of a reason. Pushing your feelings aside or berating yourself for feeling a certain way can, in fact, make it worse. As with most things, acknowledgement and acceptance is the first step.?
Now, what exactly is the Holiday Blues??
It usually occurs over November and December and is a?depressive reaction?to the stress and anxiety the festive season brings. This is not the same as clinical depression or seasonal affective disorder (SAD). Holiday Blues is a situational effect that is?psychologically based, i.e., something specific that happened to make you feel this way. It's also been found to be less severe than clinical depression and SAD, which are biological. Holiday Blues are also temporary and should subside after the start of January.?
However, if this feeling stays with you for longer, you start to feel worse, or it gets too heavy to wear, seek help. Asking for help or?talking to someone?takes a lot more strength than people realise – you are by no means weak in doing so!?
How do you know you've got the Holiday Blues??
We all experience things differently, and one bad day here and there is no cause for concern. But if you continue to feel low during the holiday season, you might struggle with Holiday Blues. It is important to note that although Holiday Blues is not a recognised psychiatric condition, it is very real and serious.?
Some common symptoms include:?
Pay attention to your kids as well. It's not just adults who struggle with Holiday Blues.?
What brings on the Holiday Blues??
Keeping your mental health in check on a regular, everyday day can be challenging. Now add the extra stress that comes with the festive season, and if you don't take care of yourself, you might fall into the Holiday Blues. It can be triggered by an abundance of elements or a combination of several things. Here's a brief look at some of the Holiday Blues triggers.?
Family
It's great to see everyone again. Unfortunately, being huddled together in sometimes cramped spaces for an extended time is a good recipe for conflict. Even more so if rifts and conflict are already in place. As blessed as this time of year is, it can also bring out the ugly side of some people.?
Loneliness
The holidays can be a lonely time if you have lost someone, are away from friends and family, or aren't close to many people in general. Feelings of isolation, even when surrounded by people, can also negatively impact this time of year.?
Social pressure?
It might be that there are a lot of social events that you are expected to attend. Or just the general feeling that if you don't celebrate until your (or society's) heart's content, you're the Grinch. Scrolling through social media and reading about all the amazingness other people are enjoying also doesn't help.?
Self-pressure?
Your own expectations can sometimes be your heaviest burden. Do you need Christmas and New Year's to be absolutely perfect? Even better than last year? Do you need to be the happiest or give the best gifts in the room? Not only is this an incredible amount of pressure you're putting on yourself, but you are also heading for disappointment.?
Finances
It's as if the holiday season and overspending are synonyms. This can lead to tremendous stress, especially after a year known for its financial strain, and with all the January payments coming up. Research shows that this is the time of year when people spend the most; in fact, overall?holiday spending in the US?peaked at a record of $889 billion in 2021 and is expected to reach $960 billion this year.?
Memories?
Hurtful memories linked to this period or about someone you've lost are difficult to carry, especially during the holidays. Dealing with pain and trauma is already a struggle in itself, and now to add holiday festivities where you "must" maintain a happy face – it can be too much to bear.?
Burnout?
For many of us, this has been a long and difficult year. Not just this year but the past few years. Work strain, the war, Covid, financial strain, etc. – it all adds up. And if you don't, or can't, refill your mental and emotional batteries throughout the year, you might just not have it in you to be in the "festive spirit". Remember, just because you're not going to work doesn't mean you're resting.?
What can you do??
There is no specific treatment for Holiday Blues, nor is the answer to grin and bear. However, there are several self-help strategies that you can implement to ease your feelings of stress, anxiety, and depression.?
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Be kind
Not just to other people but to yourself as well. Especially to yourself. Listen to how you feel without judgement and honour your needs. Recognising your triggers helps you manage or even avoid them.?
Say no
You don't have to "have to" anything. This is your festive period too, so if you don't want to go to a party, decline. Take stock of what you realistically can do before committing to any gatherings or demands.?
Create a budget – stick to it
What are your best festive memories? Be honest; what means the most to you - gifts and money spent or being with loved ones and resting? Yes, spoiling your kids is lovely, but do you need to buy them everything in the shop? The fantastic food and drink is a tradition, but can you do a bit less? Think about what you really need and plan accordingly, or find ways to simplify it. Not overextending yourself now can make January (and the rest of the year) a lot easier.??
Adjust expectations
Although we'd all like to think we are, we're not superhumans. I'm sorry to say, but we can't do everything and anything. Ask for help where needed and delegate tasks. Also, avoid comparing your reality with someone else's Instagram. Opt for a social media break and enjoy the here and now of the festive season.?
I've never figured this out myself; time either moves much quicker than I realise, or my plans take much longer than expected. The point is you don't have to accomplish everything on your to-do list. Pick one non-negotiable for every day; anything done above that is a bonus. You need to rest as well.??
Watch your diet
Believe me, I know the deliciousness that comes knocking this time of year is ridiculous. Unfortunately, not getting the correct nutrition can negatively affect your mood, as does binging. So, enjoy the good stuff, but within means.?
Limit alcohol
Alcohol is a depressant. And as most of us know, more often than not, when booze is flowing, inhibitions are lowered, which can lead to real ugliness. Moderation is key here; you don't have to cut alcohol out completely. However, there are ways (and more affordable ones) to celebrate without alcohol. Maybe instead of a Dry January, try a Mellow December.?
Take a breath
Even if it's only 10 minutes, make sure you take time for yourself every day. Go for a walk, read a book, meditate, or take a long bath, whatever your mind needs. But do something every day that calms your mind and helps you focus on the immediate.?
Sleep?
Sleep is one of those vital things our bodies and minds need to function properly. When struggling with depressive episodes, sleep typically takes a knock, either too much or too little. Stick to a regular sleeping pattern of 7 to 8 hours a night. If you struggle to sleep, try gentle stretching or meditation before bed.?
Exercise
It might be one of the last things you want to do over the holidays, but exercise does lift your mood. Even if you go for a short walk or gentle stretching is enough to help fight Holiday Blues.?
Choose your people
Unfortunately, some people make us feel more drained or hurt after spending time with them. This year, choose whom you're spending time with or limit the time you spend with people leaving you drained. Allowing good energy into your life can lift your stress levels significantly.?
Volunteer
If you are feeling lonely, volunteering may help. Studies have found that volunteering can help your mood, you make new connections, and broaden friendships.
Speak out
Don't hide your feelings or anxieties. Speak to friends or family members you trust about how you're feeling. You might be surprised to hear they feel the same.?Journal to help?understand your thoughts and feelings. If you don't have anyone in your immediate circle that you can speak to, reach out to a healthcare professional. Seeking help when you're struggling takes immense strength.?
Decorate
Even if it's just you at home, let a little festive spirit into the house by putting up some decorations. Psychologists have found that?festive decorations can spike dopamine, boosting your mood. You don't have to haul over the whole house but find something that brings you joy.?
Focus on yourself
The most important thing you can do is to take care of yourself – your physical, mental, and emotional self. By taking care of you, you'll be able to also take better care of others. Remember, peace on earth also includes your peace of mind.?
If you ever want to talk, I'm always here.?Just find a spot in my diary.?