Has "play" started feeling like "work"?

Hi!

Now that it’s getting to be warmer weather in much of the U.S., thoughts often turn to playtime—for kids and adults. We might think of relaxing poolside, or of clambering on jungle gyms, or of playing board games or cards.

At the same time, we often have an idea of play that limits us and our kids.?

So often, I hear the misconception: "Older kids and adults have grown out of the need to play." This leads to so many effects—recess getting taken away, parents feeling guilty for playing, or for?not?playing as much as they think they should, and so on.?

Play can be a source of fun and of “good stress,” with a sense of challenge or competitiveness. But it can also feel exhausting (say, a child who’s burnt out of competitive soccer teams) or tedious (say, if we’re playing along out of guilt).

In fact, play and playful thinking are key to kids’ thriving at all ages.

Think about asking and answering questions like: “How I might I build the rocket ship differently?” or “How might we create a new version of that game?”

These questions aren’t just fun. They’re actually jumpstarts to creativity. They also help kids bond with each other and the adults around them.

Through working together, kids learn key collaboration skills that will serve them long into the future.

If you feel like you’re in a “play rut,” the first thing to do is just recognize it.

• Do you feel like you are tired of the ways you and the kids in your life are playing?
• Do you feel play isn’t actually play anymore??
• Do you feel like your kids are complaining, rather than having fun, in “playtime?”
• Do you feel exhausted from being “on” with your kids all the time?

These tips and conversation starters can help if you feel in a "play rut," or if play has dropped out of your lives.?

Try sitting near kids, letting them play, and acting as a mentor or guide afterward.

• With younger kids, ask questions like:What role in the game would you like to play?
• How can each person bring their unique skills to this game or task?
• How can you help a friend who’s tired of that game, or feels upset?
• How can we all celebrate when we’re finished with a task?
• With older kids, ask questions like:How can you make sure everyone in the group gets to talk?
• How can you manage feelings of frustration or upset, from you or your friends?
• How can we experiment with this project and change it up?
• When you start feeling discouraged, what strategies can help?
• Which parts or strategies would you like to change for next time?

Remember that we as adults need to play as well! It’s all about modeling.

Today, ask yourself:

????????????“What’s one way I can add play or playfulness into my daily life?”

The key is just to keep your finger on the pulse of your emotions, and those of your kids, in your daily life. If you start feeling burned out, talk about it. See the warmer weather as a chance to try new things and get outside.

I hope these tips were helpful! For a more in-depth discussion of this approach, and of other ways to talk with children, see this?video:

Best,

Rebecca Rolland, EdD

www.rebeccarolland.com

I’d love to hear your questions, thoughts, and feedback!?Email me:?[email protected].

For questions, comments, or more?tips, don’t hesitate to contact me. Also, if you try out this type of conversation, let me know how it goes, and if you have personal stories or thoughts to share. I always love to hear from you!**?

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