The Harsh Reality Check My Self-Growth Gave Me

I have been an advocate of self-awareness but how would you feel when your self-growth practices give you a harsh reality check?

I am a firm believer that when you perpetually dedicate yourself in your transformation by either surrounding yourself with the right community or by consuming all the right content, you would un-layer yourself even when you thought you couldn't peel it off any further. This is what happened with me while I was attending one of my community member's event followed up by an interesting snippet of a podcast by one of my favorite persons.

And we all know the sequence of how an insight happens - like a tiny neuron would bubble out a thought but then you move on in the day because "I had to follow-up with that client", "the content for my video is not yet ready", "I gotta attend that workshop" and hey, most important "my BFF hasn't called me in the longest to update me about her life" and some other 73 tasks of the day.

But before I could get more distracted, I thought it's better to sit and immerse with this idea. And after much volleying, on a visibly very ordinary day, right after my breakfast as I was fixing my hair, I got this alarming insight (now I don't know if my head position has got anything to do with it? Did my hairbrush circulate the blood good and wake up my sleepy cells to burst out this idea? P.S. Tried to bring some humor).

So, coming to the insight

"I thought I had but I have been wrong all this time. I don't have a mission in life! Say whaaaaaaaa...."

Then what was all that about? What was I obsessing about all the time?

"I do see a dream, a vision for myself. And, I am truly emotional about it. I do want to impact to the best of my capacity - be a change-maker, a thought-leader and all those fancy words. I want to move people (emotionally) and hit that right chord, stand on that stage (preferably Wembley's :p) and sway people as I drop wisdom bombs. I wanna inspire. I have a vision."

But that's what. I have a vision for myself. And I hold it very close whatever I just mentioned. Even a slight glimpse of this culminating into reality makes me go all Bollywood and cry. But this is all For me and About me. Where is the mission in that?

Vision is what you see for yourself for future. Mission is what future you see for the community, the world, in terms of bigger picture and what contribution you have to make in that to happen. That's how you become a change-maker right? So my vision is just a dream; it doesn't have the "service" in it. And yes, with this unfolding, it did shock me and embarrass me. But, the fact is I did miss out on this one, the most important one. And in all my vulnerability, I embrace it and for now, would work on to figure out my "mission". I am sure my consistent baby steps and once-in-a-while flow state will drive me to that mission.

My self-growth practices did give me a reality check but at least I got one. I guess time to reflect and ponder, in awe and wonder, the power of learning about own self and accept the turbulence. Because pain is the part of the process to proceed to the glorious future.