??[20 Most Valuable Life Lessons] From "School Of Life"

Whoever said "If you laugh the world laughs with you and If you cry then you cry alone" was a great visionary.

Recently I went through a health ordeal and some cold, dark realities of life came and slapped me very hard in the face. Though I have had braved many a ordeals and a few of them life threatening earlier also. But then this was clearly a refresher to brush the dust settled on my soul because I entered the social circle after nearly nine years of hiatus.

So I thought and thought and then the wordsmith inside me compelled me to share what was brewing to help the fellow human beings with a spine and who are full of compassion and empathy via this platform (A minuscule number in our Indian society). So sit tight and enjoy, imbibe or brush off what follows ??

Brief About My Ordeal: -

I was diagnosed with a problem in the lower abdomen by the HOD and Professor (General Surgery) of a very famous hospital chain of our country which is nearly 15 Kms from my house (I live in Faridabad). And he had been very clear that it needs to be operated. I had taken time of five days as it was the first week of the month and had to fulfill my financial commitments.

So finally on the 5th April in the early hours when I woke up that formation had ruptured with blood and abscess (details of the problem withheld for the sake of saving time and privacy) and I had to rush for surgery as it was paining. My wife being tender hearted handled it very well as she had done a course on nursing and first-aid during her NCC days.

So I got ready and landed in the hospital all alone for the surgery to dismay of most of the staff members. The CFO there is a school time friend who smoothed the processes out for me. Had my surgery at 9.00 PM in the night and got discharged the next evening and came back home safely with a 3" post operative wound that had to be dressed daily ??

So what I wish to share as my earned wisdom and a lot of it I learned pretty late in my life. As late starting at the age of 38. ??

Health: -

Our body is a temple. Worship it daily, and follow the 4H rule as shared below:

1. H - Healthy Eating (Fruits, Vegetables, Proteins, Fiber, Nuts, Jaggery, Desi Ghee in breakfast or lunch). Shun the worldly pleasure of eating meat and drinking alcohol (These two add 0 value to your health and loads of problems sooner or later). By the way I have been a pure vegetarian all my life (Barring my boxing days when I used to intake 20-30 boiled eggs a day). One very simple drink that can help you stay healthy is by drinking half a lemon in 300 ml lukewarm water every day early in the morning after cleaning your bowels. Mix it with one table spoon of honey If you aren't diabetic. This combo is a great cleanser of the gut and also a great anti-oxidant.
2. H - HIIT Exercises - Jog, Cycle, Walk, Swim, Aerobics, Zumba etc. for 40-50 minutes every day 5 days a week. Do whatever you can easily perform depending upon your age and physical structure. This is a great way to relieve the mental and physical stress.
3. H - Hygiene - Since our body is like a temple one should clean it daily from top to bottom. Use a good quality bodywash and take extra care in cleaning the thigh area and the genitals. Because this is the area that remains covered and in summers it really gets dirty due to sweat. Disinfect your toilet seats before using it. Use Hydrogen Peroxide (Food Grade) to disinfect the surfaces of daily use, edible fruits and vegetable. In summers bathe twice. Bathing before sleeping improves the sleep.
4. H - Humor - Add a daily dose of humor to your life. It could be via your smartphones, with your morning groups, your family, friends, colleagues, OTT apps or by reading. Avoid crappy standup comedians who serve degenerated stuff in the name of humor.

Sleeping Well - If you can strictly follow the "Early to bed, Early To Rise" rule. I sleep latest by 10.30 and wake up at 4.00 in the morning before starting my daily regime.

At this juncture I am not carrying out my daily regime due to the wound, but on an average I cycle 40-50 KMs and walk 23K-30K steps in a week.

I work from home and start my work day at 12.00 PM and it goes on till 10.00 PM. If you work from home do try to take a "Power Nap" or "Siesta" for 15 to 30 minutes. It's a great refresher. If you work from offices then find a quite place to snore. ??

Try to get at least 7 hours of sleep every day to keep your heart healthy.

Weight - Do not be obese. It is the breeding ground for three very common silent killer disease - Diabetes, BP, Heart Attacks. Use the link to calculate your ideal weight based on your age and height Ideal Weight Calculator

Meditate - Do mediate every day for at least an hour. Do it under the guidance of a teacher who is spiritually enlightened. It's not easy to find such a teacher but there are couple of them who grace this planet. One such is Sadhguru JV

Meditation helps you a lot in clearing the clutter from your head, body and soul. Gives you mental and spiritual strength.

Family: -

That's the most important human unit of your life. The following video by famous Dr. Stephen Covey explains the importance of family.

Importance of Family

The three major reasons of conflicts between families is - Money, Social Status, False aspirations for worldly possessions. We very well know that nothing is going to go with us when we leave this world so better not run in the rat race.

Gone are the days when we had joint families. It's a real shame that today we don't have that system especially in the metros where both partners have to work to make ends meet and their social aspirations (Majorly False and Hollow Ones).

So I earnestly request all to clear their differences within their families because they are the ones that will stand by you in your tough and rough times. Nobody else. In my case it's Me, My wife and My son only.

Our parents are no more. So both of them are dependent on me. We have braved many a tough times solely because of our mental strengths. We never let our son feel the pain and pressure that we had to go through during our journey.

I never took my wife to the hospital in-spite of her repeated requests and did not tell my son about my surgery until a few days back where a connection of mine accidentally called him up (He studies in Dehradun) and asked about my recovery status.

Even the hospital staff was surprised and dismayed by me coming all alone for the surgery. But that's how I do things. I always wanted to be an Indian army soldier but unfortunately that wasn't my destiny so I always believe that when these soldiers risk their lives for us who is with them from friends and family? Practically No One. But yes they have their army buddies to take care for them. But I take care of myself on my own without compromising my dignity and valor.

After I came back my wife took care of me completely from my diet, my medicines and took care of the dressing the wound a few times initially. It wasn't easy for her to look at it.

And only a handful from my connections with whom I used to walk in the morning, visit their homes, take them out for breakfast parties, call a select few of them home for dinner parties they all did not bother to reach out to me or my wife to know what's happening or do we need any help.

I had intentionally put my hospital visit on FB to check If I was right three years back to stay away from the society and I understood that It was the right decision to do so. But there is always a silver lining there were 3-5 people who took out time to meet/call me post my surgery in my room.

So the crux of the learning is "Always Family First". Take your time in trusting people to let them get into your personal space and build relationships. Do not be swayed by the social status, monetary strength and sweet talk. Look for people who have the guts to talk straight. It will be very hard to find such people but they will be there. Never fall into the trap of "Social FOMO". Use social media judiciously.

Healthcare Ecosystem: -

The healthcare ecosystem in our country is a no-brainer for any sane and educated Bhartiya. It is like a labyrinth and is crippled with specialists who purposely do not tell you the reality. The compassion and empathy is most of the times missing as the demand out beats the supply by 1000x. We have one specialized doctor per 1000 people.

The biggest dampener is the cost of getting treated If your ailment is something very serious. I really pity for people who do not have enough money to get treated on time. Though the present government is doing a great job In repairing the system.

The big question is it takes anything between Rs.1.5Crs - 3Crs. to become a medical specialist and years of study so it's human nature to recover that cost ASAP. The 5* hospitals have their own infrastructure and salaries to maintain so expecting them to be humane is practically impossible.

Maybe by the time the positive shift happens we won't be on this planet to observe it. But going by the degenerated people in the young generation I come across I have my doubts.

The best option for ??people is to have a medical and term insurance policy from good providers like LIC, CARE and ICICI Prudential. This again is a big scam where your estimated cost of treatment is doubled If you are going for cashless payment of your treatment. But the positive aspect is if you are having a good policy then you are safe to a large extent from a financial dent.

Education:-

At the outset I will like to say please be cautious while investing in any courses being marketed and sold by TimesPro - Executive Education and similar other players. Do your due diligence and then only make your decision. Don't make the mistake of running after the brands that they offer. The courses being offered are not at all what they look like in the brochure.

They will entice you with trained soft skills to fleece you off your money and then all your distress calls will be half heartedly answered or not listened to at all.

It's pathetic that in a country like Bharat that was once known as the biggest education hub globally in the golden days is now the biggest market for education. Unfortunately the governments (Past and Present) haven't done much towards regulating the commoditization of education. The middle class has to suffer a lot to get their children educated or upskill themselves.

If you enroll yourself in online courses for the heck of getting a certification then make it a point not to share your notes or homework with other members. If you are assigned a group then unless and until it's imperative do not take the onus of completing the whole project by yourself. If others do not cooperate report about it to the concerned authorities or program managers and then leave it. Do not expect justice.

Start investing early for the higher education of your children the moment they celebrate their first birthday so that you don't have to bear the brunt at the time of admissions.

Also make them understand that education is not cramming and getting high grades but understanding and applying the wisdom that is being showered upon them.

Encourage your kids to develop the habit of reading, Instead of wasting time on smart devices.

Corporate Culture: -

Be loyal, honest and never compromise your work ethics. Be committed for the organization that you work for but do not expect that If anything happens to you, your family will be taken care off. All your loyalty, hard work, sweat, blood and tears are very easily replaceable. So you should be mentally prepared to fend for yourself and your family in dire circumstances. Save 30% of your income.

Always strive for a secondary source of income for the lean days. But be cautious and do not compromise your primary source of income. Once you are confident enough that the secondary source is more than enough then resign or retire from your job.

Be consistent in making a quality network in the industry that you work. Keep polishing your skills and yourself. This is an investment that will pay off in the long run. If possible make your passion your source of income.

Moral Fabric Of Bhartiya Society: -

Though it will sound harsh to a lot of people but I do not intend to mince my words. It is a very sorry state of affairs that the moral fabric in our glorious country has degenerated deeply. Human and moral values such as compassion, courtesy, empathy, trust, fighting against injustice, chivalry, honor etc. are minuscule to find.

The people that I have met, seen and observed around me for many years across different parts of the country across all walks of life had the following vicious traits:

??If you are struggling medically all the so called friends, relatives and acquaintances will shy away from meeting you because they fear that you will be asking for their kidney FOC, If they come to you to know how you are doing.

??People do not want to help you because they are afraid what might you will achieve out of the help rendered by them. This is a very harsh reality.

??Right to Judge. Infact we feel entitled to pass on our justice (As if we all are the CJIs) without any reasons.

??Cannot tolerate well informed, sharp and efficient fellow humans whether in personal or professional lives.

??We feel privileged and honored to communicate in English. And look down upon people who converse in the national language "Hindi".

??Very poor clarity of thought. Very few possess crystal clear imagination. Check out this small snippet 3 Indians = 0

??We love to be in the rat race and take pride in acquiring worldly possessions, higher percentages and grades, designations, social stature and feel proud in showing it off.

??Stabbing in the back is literally a "historical problem". These folks have no shame in using you for their personal gains and then slitting your throat once you have fulfilled their purpose. Infact we are hated in many countries for this reason only (Was told this in three different countries). Foreign Tyrants used this trait extremely well to enslave us.

??People are abhorrent to those showing their passion and love for the country. They have no shame in being "Sickular (Read as Secular)" and supporting agendas that will harm the self-esteem and growth of the country for petty personal gains. Majority believe that serving in the armed forces is not meant for them it's only for those, whose families have served in the past.

??We love to shake hands with others for not what they are as a person but because of their social and material barometer. The higher the mercury of the barometer, higher the number of sycophants buzzing around.

??We love to procrastinate each and every aspect of life around us just for the heck of it. Whether those questions make sense or not doesn't matter.

So the biggest lesson here is become strong mentally and physically, only rely on yourself and your family, Keep sharpening your saw, Be very judicious and selective when it comes to having people around you. If you have to tread all alone then don't be shy to do so. Doesn't mean that you have to be a Sociopath. Remember that you will be going to the graveyard all alone without taking anything from this earthly life.

Read: -

Last but not the least inculcate the habit of reading for 30 minutes every day. It will surely help in the long run. It has helped me a lot and is still helping me. So you must be wondering why get into this boring habit? The answers are below

• Increases and Improves Vocabulary.
• Improves comprehension.
• Improves brain connectivity.
• Reading can reduce stress levels by 67% in just six minutes.
• Reading can help relax your nerves leading to sound sleep.
• Improves communication, memory, and focus.

In the end I will only say that whatever I have written above is based on my real life experiences (Good & Bad). My suggestions are not to be taken as recommendations. Please use your discretion and intellect to accept the ones that you feel are realistic and appropriate. Thanks for bearing with me till now and wishing all the readers a happy, peaceful and prosperous year ahead and many more to come by.

Do share or comment If you have come so far and like what you have read.