Harnessing Emotional Intelligence: A Journey of Personal Growth & Leadership

In the realm of professional and personal development, emotional intelligence (EI) stands as a cornerstone for creating positive and productive working environments.

My own journey in mastering emotional intelligence has been transformative, not only for myself but also for those around me. These lessons have significantly shaped my development as a senior leader and have become integral to my consultancy work, where I am now privileged to have the opportunity to guide other senior leaders and directors.

By understanding and moderating my own emotional reactions, I have learned to respond with informed, measured responses, making for a more effective leadership style.

Understanding Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognise, understand, and manage our own emotions while at the same time also being able to recognise, understand, and influence the emotions of others.

This involves self-awareness, self-regulation, social awareness, and relationship management. By developing these skills, one can navigate complex social situations with greater ease and effectiveness & to my mind is an essential must have leadership tool & ability.

Personal Learnings

Self-awareness: The first step in my journey was becoming more aware of my own emotions. I started to notice the triggers that led to emotional reactions and began to understand why I felt certain ways in specific situations. This self-awareness allowed me to pause and reflect before reacting, ensuring my responses were thoughtful rather than impulsive.

Self-regulation: With increased self-awareness, I learned to regulate my emotions more effectively. This involved techniques such as deep breathing, taking a short walk, washing my hands, and yes, simply counting to ten before responding to a stressful situation. These practices helped me maintain composure and respond in a manner that was consistent with my true values and intended objectives.

Social awareness: Understanding the emotions of others became a critical aspect of my journey. I began to pay closer attention to the verbal and non-verbal cues of my colleagues, allowing me to empathise with their feelings and perspectives. This heightened empathy improved my communication and strengthened my relationships.

Relationship management: By combining self-regulation and social awareness, I was able to manage my relationships more effectively. This involved clear, compassionate communication and active listening, which helped build trust and rapport with my colleagues.

Helping Others Through Emotional Intelligence

Creating a Positive Environment: As part of any company culture, it is essential to create an environment of warmth and positivity. By modelling emotionally intelligent behaviour, I encouraged others to adopt similar practices. This collective effort has gone on to foster a more supportive and collaborative workplace environment.

Softening Communication: One of my personal objectives was to soften the tone and delivery of my messages. I realised that what I considered direct and honest could be perceived as rude and disrespectful, especially by junior colleagues.

By taking a moment to think before speaking or sending an email, I ensured my communication was respectful and considerate, thereby reducing misunderstandings and enabling a more inclusive atmosphere.

Managing External Relationships: Another focus area was managing external relationships, particularly with our Head Office colleagues. By applying the principles of emotional intelligence, I improved my interactions with external partners. This included being more attuned to their needs and perspectives, leading to more effective collaboration and stronger professional working relationships.

A Personal Story

A vivid memory of this comes to mind, my Managing Director would often be cc'd in and read some of my email messages and remark, "I can almost hear you hitting the keys, Andy" These were usually the emails I had wrote in a moment of anger.

While it felt gratifying at the time to vent my frustrations, they were counterproductive. I soon realised that the tone I had intended might not be how the reader perceived it.

The recipient could only interpret the tone through their perspective, often leading to further misunderstanding and tension. Looking back, I feel a quite embarrassed and a little saddened by my behaviour back then. I am devastated to think about the negative impact this might have had on my team.

This reflection also made me question whether the communication needed to be an email at all. Each of my managers had different preferences: some didn't mind a succinct email, others preferred a phone call, and some situations warranted a face-to-face conversation.

Understanding and respecting these preferences could have greatly improved our interactions and overall team morale. This realisation was a significant turning point in my journey toward emotional intelligence.

It highlighted the importance of self-regulation and thoughtful communication, ensuring that my messages conveyed respect and consideration, rather than frustration and anger.

I actually think I have gone the other way now and am far too floral. ?

Objectives for the Future

Continued Growth: Emotional intelligence is a continuous journey. I am committed to further developing my EI skills and encouraging my colleagues and others to do the same. This includes ongoing reflection, seeking feedback, and embracing new learning opportunities.

Open Mind & Heart: Maintaining an open mind and heart is crucial for emotional growth. I strive to remain open to new ideas, perspectives, and feedback, allowing me to grow and adapt in an ever-changing environment.

Supporting Others: As I continue to develop my EI, I am dedicated to supporting others on their journeys. This involves mentoring, sharing my experiences, and creating opportunities for others to learn and grow.

Analogy

Emotional intelligence in the workplace is like tending to a garden. Each plant (team member) requires a different kind of care: some need more sunlight (direct communication), others thrive with more water (empathy and understanding), and some require pruning (constructive feedback).

As a gardener, (Leader) it's essential to recognise these individual needs and adjust your approach accordingly.

By nurturing each plant with the right balance of attention and care, the garden flourishes, becoming a vibrant, harmonious space where every plant can thrive. Similarly, by applying emotional intelligence thoughtfully, we can cultivate a workplace where everyone feels valued, respected, and capable of reaching their full potential.