HARNESS YOUR FUCKING ENERGY

The less you bullshit yourself about your priorities, the more you’ll gain.?

What motivates you? Harness and utilize the resources that serve you. Society puts incredible pressure on us to obtain stuff and show off—the coolest vacations, the trendiest fashions, the latest smart ? ? phone—convincing us that life (or so they say) is about always updating, changing, and evolving what’s necessary for our happiness. We’re told what we should want and how we should be; that the best and only way to live is to nail down a six-figure job, a gorgeous, impressive spouse, and 2.5 perfectly behaved kids. We’re inundated with content from advertisers, our friends, and coworkers that tells us to keep up with the Joneses.?

With so much vying for our attention, it’s no wonder we get our priorities jacked up. Likes and comments lead to a conflation of wants and needs. When it becomes tough to tell which is which, people end up chasing things they don’t want or need.?

Let’s sort this out. We’ll separate our needs, wants, and likes into three separate categories, first by using the rhyme “require, desire, admire.” ?????

Require?

Things you require are essential to your existence. Your life is negatively impacted when these things aren’t present. Requirements are simple, and powerful. At our core, we all have similar deep-seated requirements.?

REQUIRE: food, shelter, money, security?

Desire?

A desire enriches your life. The drive to fulfill your desires—such as spending time each week on a hobby, working out regularly, or having regular date nights with your partner—can be motivating. When you satisfy your desires, your brain releases happy hormones such as dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin. They are temporary rewards for a job well done. Rewards are necessary to drive optimism in your daily life.?

DESIRE: hobbies, vacation time, date night, working out, family time, self-improvement?

Admire?

Admiration is simple and external. You see something you appreciate ? ? ?and you admire it. When you admire something, you like the idea of having it, and you don’t need it. When someone in your life has admirable qualities, those are qualities you place an objective value on (another person might not find those qualities attractive). Admire isn’t as driving a force as desire ? ? ?or as primal as require.?

ADMIRE: new clothes, attractive people, material possessions?

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We admire a lot, desire fewer things, and require not very much to live! We often confuse needs, wants, and likes, giving undue attention to small “quick fixes” confused for essential needs. Aligning your wants, needs, and likes will dictate your goals.?????

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Every day, you face hundreds of choices to make and experience unforeseen pitfalls. What do you want your relationship with your significant other to look like? Where do you want your career to go? What does success mean (to you)??

When you haven’t harnessed your energy and focus to define your goals, you can’t expect to respond appropriately when you reach a fork in the road. Choose not to get caught up in admiring what other people have, comparing yourself to them, or making an idol out of an idea. Instead, focus more on procuring what you require to live, what you desire to feel fulfilled—and appreciating those things mindfully once you have them.?

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There isn’t a wrong answer except one where you’re being dishonest with yourself. After all, you are responsible for your own happiness. Don’t let someone else’s idea of success determine yours. Figure out what you require and eventually desire, then pursue what aligns with these needs. It’s up to you—and only you—to determine what falls under these categories.?

Proud, grateful, and excited to share the publication of my first book, Words Fucking Matter: Retrain Your Brain to Use Language to Serve You.

Buy your copy on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C7T5FY3P/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=words+fucking+matter+by+andy+weins&qid=1686695741&sr=8-1