The Hardest Change?—?IC to Leadership

I was told by my former manager that one of the most if not THE most difficult transition in your professional career will be the change from being an individual contributor (IC) to being a manager. She told me this during the first one-on-one I had with her after being promoted to a Lead. 2 years into leadership and I can with certainty say this has been true.

Disclaimer: My goal in sharing this part of my journey is to shed some light on what’s around the corner for aspiring Leads and to encourage new Leads who are in the thick of it and perhaps stir a bit of nostalgia for experienced Leaders. I am NOT a seasoned veteran to leadership and I am still very much learning and growing everyday so if you’re looking for advice on how to be a great leader you’re in the wrong place. Here we go…

I want to start by sharing what I found were my four main challenges and finish with what was one of the greatest sources of help. This is not to say that there weren’t other challenges, but I found that the lack of knowledge (1), control (2), experience (3), and weight of responsibility over others (4) to be so much harder than I could have imagined. However, I am so grateful that I had amazing people around me that were going through the same journey and mentors to help me from really screwing up.

You think you know, but you really don’t… Looking back, the first few months were the hardest. I went from being a high performing IC who had enough institutional knowledge from my tenure and enough experience in my field to pretty much have the answers to most questions that came my way to suddenly being a manager with very few answers. I had not realized how much of my confidence was tied to my ability to readily provide answers and solutions and this was a huge mental shift that I needed to overcome. I needed to accept and be comfortable with not knowing everything. I had to start basing my confidence in my ability to grow and learn. Easier said than done.

Jesus, take the wheel… Another big change was that I was no longer in direct control of timelines and deliverables. As an IC, I had gotten to the point where I could confidently plan what each quarter would look like; when I would hit my goals, when projects would be completed, and even when I wanted to take my vacations while not skipping a beat when it came to production. Work had become reasonably predictable (minus the revolving reorgs). As a new Lead, I found myself suddenly in a place where I had very little direct control over production and having to fully lean into my ability to influence. That loss of control was surprisingly difficult to come to terms with! I found myself falling back into doing IC work simply to feel some semblance of the control that I had before and it took more than a couple nudges from my manager to let go and focus on leading the team. Looking back, I really appreciate my manager for having pushed me away from what I felt comfortable with and to embrace the new challenge of leading. This really helped me focus on giving my time to those who needed it most, my team.?

I’m sooo tired…. EVERYTHING IS NEW! While that might sound exciting, and some parts were, there was a definite mental drain to constantly doing something for the first time. Coupled with the desire of wanting to do these new things well, but with the added weight that if you don’t do well that it’ll have a further reaching negative impact. I felt like I was running at a hundred all the time for those first few months and getting tripped up constantly. I remember when one of the other newly minted managers had asked me if I had completed my Quarterly Business Report (QBR) and not even being aware that was something I needed to do. Oops. Thankfully, nothing turned into a bad fall, but it was such a huge mental challenge to constantly be catching myself and reacting to new things. Again, the predictability of the things coming your way goes out the window.?

Wooosahhh… One of the main reasons I wanted to become a manager was so that I could directly influence the development and growth of those who reported to me. I loved being able to help mentor others as an IC and I felt that being a manager would allow me to have a greater influence and impact on those around me. This is not to say that you cannot have a profound influence on others as an IC, but there’s a difference when your own performance is tied to those who you lead. So when I received my first piece of critical feedback on someone who reported to me I was stressed. First, I wanted to understand if the feedback was valid and reasonable so I took some time to investigate. I probably spent way to much time on this part as I realize now that I could have just done a quick overview on the claims and simply delivered the feedback and ask for their thoughts on the matter and gone from there, but this being the first time delivering feedback as a manager I agonized on properly balancing the feedback with encouragement and ensuring that they could trust that I would support them. I remember feeling so anxious on how my delivery was going to be received, on if I was going to get a lot of pushback and defensive responses and how I would in turn respond to that and ultimately if I could help them get to a better place. Thankfully everything went well in this, but I remember thinking about the time spent here and something that a Director or Engineering had once told me about how “low performers” will consume 90% of your time when it’s your “high performers” who deserve 90% of your time. I also remember thinking that managing “high performers” was going to be easy and that I’d be able to be relatively hands off since they could operate independently. Wrong. While there were things that I could be “hand off” on I realized that strong ICs expect a lot from their managers and rightly so. I remember having to think a lot about how I can best support, challenge, and most importantly advocate for my high performers, but also expect high quality work from them with the reward for it all being able to deliver the news of a promotion or a solid raise. I recall having to take a few deep breaths before each of my 1:1s with folks on my team just to clear my mind a bit and focus on being as fully present as possible.?

It takes a village… I was fortunate to have several of my peers become managers at the same time as me and to go through these challenges together was something that made me realize the importance of building a robust support network. Transitioning from an IC, where I could often tackle problems independently, to a leadership role where collaboration and guidance were critical, emphasized the need for a support system. Whether it was seeking mentorship from experienced leaders, leaning on peer support groups, or fostering open communication with my team, creating a network of people who could provide advice and encouragement was so impactful. This support network not only offered guidance during challenging times but also served as a source of inspiration and motivation. Knowing that I could turn to others to simply vent about all the hard things that were happening made the journey into leadership less lonely and isolating. My only regret here was not letting go of my pride sooner and allowing others to help me right off the bat. However, building and nurturing this support network has been a cornerstone of my growth as a leader, and it continues to be an invaluable resource on this ongoing journey.

Transitioning from an IC to a manager is a challenging journey, marked by a significant shift in mindset, relinquishing control, and navigating uncharted waters. While it’s undeniably tough, it has been a transformative experience that has unlocked new levels of personal and professional growth for me. For aspiring Leads and those currently in the thick of it, remember that you’re not alone in facing these challenges. Embrace the discomfort, lean into learning, and, most importantly, focus on supporting your team. Your journey will be uniquely yours, filled with lessons, growth, and the fulfillment that comes from leading others to success.