The Harder the Journey - The More Rewarding the Outcome

I’ve built my career upon the belief that anything is possible, and while I may be a dreamer in that way, I’m also a realist. The modern measurement of success is morphing into an almost unattainable, unrealistic and unhealthy model. And that has me concerned.

Experience and hardships have their place in shaping perspective and drive, but external forces are playing an enormous role in creating an inhabitable climate for entrepreneurs, leaders, and founders. What used to be considered successful has been marginalized, with the focus shifting from appreciating a hard-earned valuation to coveting unicorn deals and image-driven relationships. Social media’s global impact is reshaping adequacy and ambition, and success is too often being defined solely by glossy clickbait that amplifies items over integrity. Inadequacy has supplanted peace, and in my mind, we need a reboot back to a version of success that isn’t calculated by your bank account balance, type of car in the driveway, brand of watch on your wrist, or the label on that fancy purse around your shoulder.

This outlandish pursuit of edited social media perfection has fostered an explosion of mental health breakdowns. Wellness is in crisis. Rather than building straw empires we consider pinnacles of success, we should be offering empathy and care. Instead of seeking only to close deals and cash checks, we should be over tipping those in the service industry and sitting down for conversations we think we’re too busy to have. My career has been forged through connections, and while those moments I enjoy with celebrities, icons, professionals, and leaders that are vital to my business, I long for genuine authenticity in relationships—and that is becoming more difficult to secure. Because that is the very essence of my version of success, I find the world can be a lonely, isolating place.

For every thousand people I encounter, I figure only one aligns with my ideals and life philosophies. The power that comes with finding a kindred spirit is invigorating, but all too rare.

I notice how life has gotten in the way for many people, and the walls they’ve built to protect against struggle, loss, failure, pain, and risk are too high to penetrate. At the onset of Covid-19, when we embraced a shared concern for our global future, I had high hopes humanity would find its way back to the basics: That we don’t need much to be happy, and the endless pursuit of a warped success will never yield satisfaction or peace. From 2020-2022, I watched families stay home, find clever ways to bond, take care of each other, and escape the game of gluttony. Families worked from home, ate lunch with their kids, and checked in on friends. Could this be the great reset I’d been hoping for? Alas, it wasn’t. We, as a human race, picked up exactly where we’d left off—but now elevated to a heightened state of alarm. New fears, anxieties, and stressors strangled us from screens and devices streaming endless breaking news updates, warnings, and divisive commentary. What came together just months before was being ripped apart once again. Households, families, friends, and colleagues retreated to their respective corners with political ideologies that left zero space for compromise. Every civilization will experience growing pains, but this chasm was swallowing our potential for joy, love and happiness as if the roots holding all that in place had simply let go.

Finding that again is crucial. Part of that is your responsibility alone, but a larger part is in who you select to have around you. And yes, that is a choice. Negativity can be stealthy, sneaking in through crevices you never knew you had to seal shut. That begins with identifying words, actions, deeds, and people … yes people … who are decent, loving, positive, and supportive enough to earn a place within your inner circle. Examine everything around you. What drains your enthusiasm? Who is difficult to work with? Demanding and unreasonable? Make a change. Once the toxicity is identified, the next step is difficult but necessary, and it takes courage to execute. Find the strength to put unproductive actions or people in a time-out or remove them entirely. Close the door to noisy chatter and chaos, which can be the most obvious sign of evil intent and watch the path to your personal version of success light up.

For over two decades, the motto of success for my company has been this: Time Is Our Most Precious Commodity. With age, trauma, failure, and revitalization, I have also learned how to redefine the term selfish. It doesn’t have to mean insulating yourself with riches and rewards, it can be bigger and deeper, a way to preserve your best self to better serve others. My version of being selfish propels me to do more to find happiness and feel good—which makes me a more open listener and well-rounded collaborator. If you strive to be selfish with the caveat of never harming another in your pursuits, it can return limitless value to not just you, but everyone you encounter.

Productivity runs concurrent with inner happiness and peace, and it really peaks when you’re surrounded by positivity and the team outlook is in sync. I share with others all that has worked for me, along with the difficult lessons, challenges, and hurdles I’ve had to overcome. I acknowledge life can be unfair, cruel even, but a level set on your emotions and outlook can fuel growth no matter the conditions you’ll face. Accountability is a gift you never asked for, but it will keep giving … once you learn how to properly see through its multi-dimensional prism. While others may bring strife, the results of your life are your personal responsibility, and growth will never come from being jaded or holding grudges. Think of it this way: Spite is merely the battle within us with stubborn demons who love to fight.

Each day brings potential for positive momentum. Whether it’s a project, sale, service, or new idea that sparks interest, put it all through your new and improved success meter and deliver results that –most of all – make you proud. Avoid the impulse to compare your process to others’ and lean into that full feeling of accomplishment. How incredible your life is, the blessings you’ve been granted, and the mark of quality you’re known for. Build your tribe, as one becomes four, and four turn into eight … and so forth. You don’t need a million customers to feel worthy or successful; you’re born with all the qualities required to find whatever unique brand of value you’re destined for. Cast out the voices that interrupt or try to intercede, and before long you won’t be able to hear them anymore.

Hold your head high, be consistent, kind, and darkness will always reveal light.

“Everyone can be an overnight success if you were to wake up each new day a little smarter, a little wiser, and a little stronger than the day before.”

– Brian J. Esposito