The Harder Conversations About Our Differences

In my role to facilitate conversations between team members, we often use tools like MBTI or DISC to create awareness about differences in the way each of us thinks or behaves. We gather this information by correlating responses to a lot of questions with known behaviors. The result is a printable report. In these conversations, we do not concern ourselves about where those differences come from. Rather, with an appreciation for our differences as shown by these assessments, we discuss behaviors to “close the gap”. The goal is to build better relationships that maximize the opportunity for each person to find happiness at work and maximize their contribution to the team. These conversations are fairly safe because the report is the object of the discussion. Participants agree or disagree with the report or, even though there are no good or bad styles, the report serves as a cover to admit perceived vulnerabilities or learn something new about team members. 

Assessments make a big deal out of indicating that the attributes they measure do not differ according to gender, nationality, age, and other variables that are ask about. These tools measure a limited number of attributes. The differences in perspectives and ways of thinking that we really want to expose are not the result of a questionnaire. These differences are the result of a lifetime of experience and/or deeply held beliefs. This conversation to discover those differences does not have a report between us—to provide us with cover. This conversation is about you and me with nothing in between.

How do we facilitate these conversations without a report? I want to recognize and celebrate those who do facilitate those conversations and those who are willing to participate. My experience having the crutch of a report—a false shield—can be hard enough. Having conversations about much deeper topics is not an easy one, but one that I must be challenged to have myself and to be able to lead.

Jonathan partners with high-performing technical specialists to reach their full potential as people-leaders. Combining his science background, corporate experience, and teaching skills, he creates a knowing and trusting relationship necessary to ask clients to do the hard work of building new skills, using their time differently, and embracing values that bring them and the organization the greatest success. To learn how Jonathan can help your organization, visit envisionpartnersllc.com