The Hard Truths about Developing Soft Skills (Part 2 of 2: How Organizations Can Better Develop Soft Skills)

Neurological research has shown that human brains can create new neural connections and pathways throughout adulthood.  This means that soft skills, like leadership skills, communication skills, are learnable skills.  However, we also need to understand how learning take place in our brains.  Research have shown that there are 2 areas of our brains that are involved in learning:

1. The neocortex – The part of the brain that governs analytical and technical ability. The neocortex grasps concepts quickly, placing them within an expanding network of associations and comprehension. For example, this part of the brain can figure out how to operate a machine from reading the operation manual.  When learning technical or analytic skills, the neocortex operates with magnificent efficiency.

1. The limbic system – On the other hand, the limbic brain is a much slower learner, especially when it has to unlearn deeply ingrained habits, and to learn new things. As mentioned earlier, much of our soft skills are learned early in life and reinforced over time.  Re-educating the emotional brain for soft skills, therefore requires a lot more motivation, practice and feedback.

The problem with many soft skills training is that the presentation of ideas, concepts, “to-do’s” and “to-not-do’s” targets the neocortex, the logical thinking mind instead of the limbic system.  For soft skills to be learned, internalized and transferred, the training has to be both cognitive (engaging the thoughts and logical mind) and affective (engaging emotions, even releasing of long-held feelings). 

After training is done, when employees return to their workplace, the role of leaders in developing soft skills take center stage.

The Role of Leaders in Developing Soft Skills 

Because learning soft skills is associated with the limbic brain, and may take longer, leaders at work have to play the leading role in driving change.  They have to provide the following three things:

• Motivation
• Safe Space for Practice
• Meaningful Feedback

Providing Motivation

According to Daniel Goleman, Richard Boyatzis and Annie McKee in the book <<Primal Leadership - Learning to Lead with Emotional Intelligence>>, they identified 3 important questions that have to be asked to summon the motivation to take on and sustain the challenge of developing emotional intelligence (which is a very common soft skill). 

• Our Ideal Selves

Besides just getting a job a paying the bills, every employee, whether they know it or not, have an ideal self that they aspire towards.  Some people may be more career focused, and can spell out their career goals clearly.  Some may not have as clear ambitions at work, but they have their personal goals, family goals, achievement goals, learning goals.  Most conversations at the workplace revolve around work, tasks, deadlines, and I personally feel that leaders have to play a more active role in having meaningful career and growth conversations with their employees.

• Our Real Selves

Having helped employees identified their ideal selves, it’s then important for leaders to have authentic conversations with employees on identifying their real selves.  This is not the opportunity for either party to air grievances about each other, or to provide feedback (that comes later).  It’s a habit of human beings to pay attention to gaps and errors instead of what’s good.  Bad news is more sensational and interesting that good news, just ask the newspapers (though they may not admit).  Extra care must also be taken that the conversation does not become skewed towards the noticing the gaps of your employees.  From the clients I have worked with and participants of my workshops, I have noticed that people are usually more quick to identify their own weaknesses and gaps than they can identify their strengths.  Therefore, the “real self” conversation should be a good balance, because strengths are the launch-pad for employees to attain their ideal selves. 

• Develop a Learning Agenda

As mentioned earlier, most soft skills training creates a connotation of “fixing” behavior, and that can get in the way of learning. Goleman et al calls this a “performance agenda”, which focuses on achieving some measure of success, something that the employee has to prove.  Instead of motivating learning and change, this could lead to defensiveness.

On the other hand, a learning agenda focuses on change that will lead to better performance at work (and possibly transferred into private life).  The learning agenda is tied to your employees’ ideal selves – the people they want to become, and so that is more motivating, setting a meaningful context for them to approach the developmental opportunity.

Providing Safe Space for Practice

How often we have seen people leaving training programs all enthusiastic and committed to improving, but when they go back to their workplace, dozens of emails, meetings and calls later, the learning slowly fades away.  When the “honeymoon effect” of training wears off, skills learned will atrophy unless they are given a safe space to practice it in their job on a regular basis.

To do this, leaders do not only provide opportunities for employees to exhibit the skills learned, they must also provide the platform for meaningful discussions so that learnings can be entrenched.  In fact, the best learning may not necessarily come only from seminars, books. Wisdom and best practices may come from within the team, from your people themselves. By creating a platform for open sharing within your team, you can open the opportunity for employees to share success stories and best practices with each other.  When employees hear from each other, it’s no longer a management initiative, or some standard ten-point checklist circulated by the bosses.  This works because it is the best practices of your people on the ground with day-to-day involvement in the work.  

One of the best examples is at Ritz Carlton Hotels.  At all Ritz Carlton Hotels around the world, hotel staff engage in a daily routine called the Daily Line-Up, which is a standing meeting that includes all staff from the bellboys to the chefs, at the beginning of each shift.  One valuable part of the Daily Line-Up is a focus on the company’s culture and values.  Staff members are encouraged to share a personal example of how he or she has demonstrated or witnessed the company’s gold standards in service.  It’s easy to dismiss platitudes like “you’re not dressed fully without a smile! Customer is king!” as management speak.  However, hearing stories of their colleagues living the culture inspires everyone to do likewise.

Providing Feedback

Take the time and build into your leadership routine to offer feedback and coaching on key, high-priority soft skills.  Lead the way by sharing defining the high-priority soft skills. Want a more cohesive team? Then observe and offer feedback for behaviors that threaten team harmony. Grooming a high performer for a leadership role? Then be sure to spell out your expectations, and set aside time to coach and provide feedback on these specific skills.  Don't criticize, don't shame, don't try to fix them. Instead, use reflection and feedback to identify and motivate your employees to develop the skills and adopt the behavior you want to see.  Your employees can learn powerful skills during training programs, but it’s the constant observation, feedback and encouragement from their leaders at work that's going to ensure real change after training.

The Hard Truth about Soft Skills

Go look at most job ads, and you’ll notice that even for very technical roles, only a few lines talk about technical proficiency, and majority of the job description and job requirements are soft skills related.  This only goes to show the importance of soft skills to success in business.  Yet, while globally millions of dollars are spent on soft skills training, isn’t there a need for companies to relook how they can ensure this investment converts to tangible outcomes, and that soft skills are developed and applied in the workplace.  Specialized soft skills training by professionals are necessary, but trainings alone are not enough.  Leaders up and down organizations must play an important role to motivate and allow safe space for practice of soft skills, and develop the coaching and mentoring skills to provide quality feedback.  By taking a holistic approach to development of soft skills, organizations can reap immense benefit in this competitive landscape and retain talented employees.