A hard lesson learned from my dad

My son and I had a small disagreement about where Diego Maradona, one of the soccer's best (and dirtiest) players, was born and played. He insisted Brazil, and I told him Argentinian. I was correct, of course. But my son wouldn't let up and was so sure of Maradona's origin that he bet me five dollars.

I took his bet and then told him to look at Wikipedia. After he found out I was correct, he asked me if I would forgive him the five dollars. Sure, I told him, even though he has more money than me.

When I was a kid, my father and I had a similar argument, except more was on the line than five dollars, namely my favorite magnet. 

My dad gave me a magnet that I loved. I was convinced it was the best magnet in the world. It was horse-shoe shaped and could pick up nails, tacks, small ball bearings, and other cool stuff.

I told my dad that my magnet, the one he gave me, was the best magnet ever. He told me he had a magnet that was better, stronger, yes, stronger than mine. How could this be, I asked him?

I had never seen his magnet. Never had he shown me his red and white horse-shoe shaped magnet. So naturally I didn't believe him. I argued vehemently that my magnet was definitely better than his. Like my son, I was never wrong. 

Our argument lasted until we were driving home from somewhere I can't recall. It was a long time we were arguing about the superiority of my magnet, loner than I'm sure he could bare. He finally asked me if I wanted proof that his magnet was better. Sure, I told him, convinced that he couldn't best mine. 

He drove us to his lab at the University where he worked as a professor of electrical engineering. It was after dinner, so he had to let us in with his key. I had been to his lab many times. He proudly introduced my four brothers and I to his colleagues every time we visited him.

Dad led me to a huge machine that resembled nothing I could name. It was a huge large, square machine with two separate bars about a foot apart. He turned the machine on, and we waited a few minutes before he told me to hand him my awesome magnet. Reluctantly I handed it over. His magnet was a scary one.

I'm not sure he told me never to question him, but that's the sense I got as he held my magnet over the machine's two separate very wide bars. The machine hummed as if it were angry. I wasn't quite sure what was going to happen next, but I got the sense it wasn't going to be good.

Then he dropped my magnet from about four feet above the mighty machine. My magnet descended until it was snatched from midair and stuck to one of the two bars. Dad waited about ten seconds before he turned off the machine and my magnet dropped to the table on which his magnet sat.

My dad handed my magnet to me. 

When we got home, I tried picking up all the neat stuff my magnet used to, but it no longer picked up the metal objects. It had lost its power. I was devastated. My dad ruined my magnet.

His response to me was that he had to prove his magnet was better than mine. Which ultimately meant he had to destroy mine to make his point. To this day, I can't recall ever having another magnet.

My father's cruel act hasn't left me. All the great things he did for me and our family haven't left me, either. He was a great, smart man of whom I was very proud. I loved him for all the things he taught me. So why was this a hard lesson from my youth?

It was a hard lesson because his need to prove he was smarter than me caused him to destroy one of my prized possessions. 

Here's what I learned from this lesson: I will never hurt my children to teach them that I'm smarter than them. And this is why when I won the argument with my son, I didn't make him hand over five dollars.

Some of you might be thinking that the lesson my dad taught me was a valuable one, and I agree. Sometimes you learn the most from the lessons that cause you emotional pain. 

If you learned a hard lesson from your childhood, I love to hear about it.

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Bob McIntosh, CPRW, is a career trainer who leads more than 17 job search workshops at an urban career center, as well as critiques LinkedIn profiles and conducts mock interviews. Jobseekers and staff look to him for advice on the job search. In addition, Bob has gained a reputation as a LinkedIn authority in the community. Bob’s greatest pleasure is helping people find rewarding careers in a competitive job market. For enjoyment, he blogs at Things Career Related. Follow Bob on Twitter, https://www.twitter.com/bob_mcintosh_1, connect with him on LinkedIn, http://www.dhirubhai.net/in/bobmcintosh; read his blog, https://www.thingscareerrelated.com

Photo: Flickr, Erik Cooper