HARD OF HEARING - AN ASSET

I’M HARD OF HEARING & IT’S AN ASSET!

I have been slowly losing my hearing for about 10-15 years; it’s an invisible disability and I’ve always tried to hide it until today.??Why have I hidden it, well it’s because I am a working professional and several able bodied men have warned me “not to tell anyone as I’d lose business!”??For me, I have simply slowly lost hearing, mostly in my right ear, but I don’t hear lower tone voices and people speaking fast and blending words together makes it hard for me.??As mentioned, until today, I have tried hard NOT to tell people as I’ve faced discrimination in my work as a result. Asking the top able bodied real estate agent in my office a few years ago “Should I tell people I’m hard of hearing”, he replied “Oh NO!??they’ll never hire you!” this truly saddened me.??This guy was the “golden boy” of the office, with little regard for me at the time.??Today, I am coming out and proudly letting the world know “I am hard of hearing!” AND it is truly an ASSET!??Why, well 85% of all communication is non-verbal; I watch for that 85% of communication that "golden boy" likely doesn't see!

Prior to the pandemic, I got very good at a sort of casual lip reading and facial/situational interpretation. I am a really social person and I miss fully communicating with people at parties, business events and more; I don’t just miss the networking, not being as verbally active has cost me money.??Why, because as an entrepreneur, I sustain business by developing more and more relationships and by meeting new people all the time.??But if I can’t hear them, what do I do, I’m losing money, I feel shitty, I look down sometimes and people don’t know why.??Yes, I do have $5,000 hearing aids, but did you know they amplify background noise. Background noise exists everywhere, in restaurants where I meet clients, at conferences, on subways, on boats, in cars….it often sounds so loud, it’s like train are passing in front of me.??Yes, hearing aids help BUT only in a one on one meeting in a quiet place and then I can probably hear you IF you look at me, which I want to do, but makes some people nervous.

I cried in the Whole Foods when masks were mandatory again.??I couldn’t hear the meat counter person and she had no idea how to communicate with me, she kept talking to me and I kept saying I’m sorry I can’t hear you.??I finally pointed and said again and again which chicken I wanted; who knows what she was asking me, but she gave me the right chicken.??I am all for masks for health reasons, but now feel I just should have invented, had manufactured and distributed clear masks so people like me could read lips and kids could see their teachers smiling!???Still at Whole foods, at the checkout, I know they ask for your Amazon Prime number so I just gave it and said I probably can’t hear you; I say this A LOT each day and the emotional pain just piles up as the day moves on. It’s like I’m constantly telling people I’m damaged.??Many people respond “I’m sorry”, please don’t be sorry, just listen to me when I explain how I can best understand you.

POSITIVE

Although I’ve written about the difficulties of being hard of hearing, I am ending this post by describing what is positive about being hard of hearing:

1.?????I listen very close to your words and watch your face and expressions; 85% of communication is non verbal,?so I’m getting all of your communication.

2.?????I understand hidden disabilities; I ask people how best to communicate with them.??This includes if they prefer emails, text or phone calls.??I’ve noticed most people under 30 automatically assume people do not want a call, but some do.??Asking one’s communication preference sets a great tone for business.

3.?????I have lost my hearing slowly as an adult; I don’t know why, neither do the Drs.???I still crave professional respect. Please don’t assume I can’t do things.??I have a PhD, MBA, speak Japanese and am very competent in many things.??It makes me scared and sad that I am loosing my hearing because SO many people I fear will not want to deal with me and as an entrepreneur does that mean I’ll have fewer customers?

4.?????OR will I attract people with both hidden and not hidden disabilities?

I am changing my viewpoint today with publication of this article and also asking those that may have never met someone like me to STOP saying “I’m sorry” if someone tells you they are Hard of Hearing, just ask “Great, how can I best communicate with you”. That would mean the world to me!????I do wish there was some technology to help me that didn’t cost a fortune and I know there are others like me hiding or suffering in silence.??

5.?????Did you know many business professionals (1 in 8 between the ages of 18-65) are hard of hearing, we don’t say anything as it could be career or financial suicide.??Really, what totally hearing able manager wants a key staff person who might not hear…..but wait, maybe you do want someone like me.??How do I compensate for my hard of hearing issues???IF communication is really 85% non-verbal, then I’m getting that 85%, plus 80% of what you are saying verbally.??I’m likely getting MUCH more then some others as I’m looking at your face and intaking all of your communication, both your voice tone, your posture, your face and more.

A FEW WAYS TO RESPOND IF SOMEONE TELLS YOU THEY ARE HARD OF HEARING

1.?????ME:??I’m hard of hearing, could you kindly look at me while speaking.

YOU:??No problem, how can I best communicate with you?

2.?????YOU: Oh, how does that impact you, if anything?

ME:??Let me explain the non-verbal communication skills I have and how that is a huge benefit in business, sales and in noticing people’s emotions/motives.

3.?????ME: I’m hard of hearing, can we sit on the side of the restaurant?

YOU:??Sure, where-ever is most comfortable to you.

4.?????ME: I’m hard of hearing, can we pick a restaurant with no background music?

YOU:??Sure, can you make a recommendation???If not, I’ll call and ask if the restaurant has background music; if it does, I’ll find another one.

I hope this article has been helpful to you.??Please be compassionate to myself and all.??This is the first time I’ve ever written about being Hard of Hearing. Thank you for reading my article; it has taken me courage to publish this.

Sincerely,

MJK