HARD ARSE LEADERSHIP IS OUT

Lead with empathy and watch your People Soar.

In the last 10 years, the profession of coaching has blasted across the universe. One of the biggest issues that has arisen is that the person seeking coaching support is often none the wiser about what real transformational coaching looks like and how to evaluate the multitude of coaching professionals out there and separate the “quacks” from those that are the?“real deal”.

Touted as one of the best books for entrepreneurs out in the last year – The Trillion Dollar Coach, Leadership Lessons from Silicon Valley’s Bill Campbell offers just that – a way to understand what life changing coaching support can look like and feel like and, the type of soul it takes to truly deliver immeasurable value. Bill Campbell is regarded as one of the top performance coaches of our time - a man who was loved and revered by most of the tech juggernauts in Silicon Valley. Here are the key elements to come out of this simple but powerful story:

Some of the key lessons are nothing we haven’t heard before but an essential reminder to all those who get to lead others about the importance of showing LOVE. One of the key quotes I love is this:

“Your title makes you a manager. Your people make you a leader. It is a misconception that smart people don’t like to be managed or coached – everyone wants to learn something new and needs help in some decisions. Operational excellence comes from a strong team culture where processes, accountability and performance matter.

Leaders cannot demand respect, it has to accrue to them. Their humility, sensitivity, and selflessness should show that they care about the company and its people. Charisma and passion are important, but so are crisis management and participatory decision making.

People flourish in an organisation when they have support, respect and trust. In successful companies, managers are also good coaches.”

As an Executive Coach to many over the last 20 years – the lessons in this book are invaluable as a reminder to leaders, people coaching others or coaching professionals about a few key principles that I live by as a coach:

• Be humble – your role as a coach is to be invisible and help the leaders you serve become invisible too
• Believe that your clients have the answers within them
• Believe that your role is to help your clients see beyond the limitations of what they think is possible
• Live by first principles?
• Focus on building people, teams, trust and love – operational excellence will ensue
• Try to coach whole teams if you can for maximum impact – this is often where you can truly help to jump start the team’s s-curve
• Transformation coaches are highly empathic and intuitive. They listen and hear fully to be able to tap into their client’s deepest wisdom. How are you tapping in?
• For God's sake have FUN - a huge part of connecting and truly experiencing synergy with your people and/or clients is to connect personally and enjoy your time together. Coaching relationships are deep and can last a lifetime.
• Don’t be a “blind cheerleader” - Be bold and brave as a coach – the only way to honour others is to dare to speak the truth with courage and compassion
• Don’t be afraid to show love – the greatest coaches show love and warmth to those around them.

In an era where we are more connected and disconnected than ever before, a key differentiator of exceptional leaders and coaches is the comfort displaying empathy and effusing emotion – “Great coaches and leaders can break down the walls between professional and human personae, and embrace the whole person with love” .

A great tool I use to help leaders understand how to show love is an assessment usually reserved to evaluate romantic relationships called The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate is a 1992 book by Gary Chapman. It outlines five ways to express and experience love between romantic partners that Chapman calls "love languages." Utilised in a workplace setting the assessment translates well to understand core human motivations around recognition and preferred communication styles. Want to try it out? Click the link to take the assessment: https://365tests.com/personality-tests/what-is-your-love-language/

I sometimes use it with my coaching clients to start the conversation about how to show love to their people as a starting point. When people understand this about themselves and others it ignites a higher level of consciousness around showing empathy and adjusting recognition and motivation styles to unique individual needs on their team. So for example someone who has affirmation needs a more vocal calling out of their accomplishments versus a physical preference would indicate a hug or a handshake. Here is a simple but fun example of how it applies .. for the perfectionists try not to twitch with the spelling mistake. ??

Finally, if there is anything I am most certain of it is this, that even the greatest of leaders, superstars and high performers experience moments of loneliness and feeling separated from others. They are often plagued by the shadow of self-doubt and the feeling that sometimes they are just not enough. We all need to be positively affirmed, to feel that we belong, that we are safe and that we are loved. The bottom line, “You cannot be a good manager without being a good and caring coach”.

Being a coach is an honour and a privilege. I’d like to finish with one of the most inspiring Bill Campbell quotes from the book– “If you have been blessed, be a blessing”.

Enough said.