A harassing and violent experience

There are many rules and policies that organizations have in place to combat bullying and violence among their employees and students at schools and universities. What is it that makes these procedures come alive and work? That makes people feel and affirm that the system works and is not a dead letter.

I am going to tell you a personal story, by the way, I am going to thank the instructors and people from whom I learned related strategies and tools

During lunchtime at home, we had an interesting conversation with my son and my wife, instructing us on bullying and violence in schools.

Two days later, my wife told me, we have a problem at school. After learning firsthand the details of the matter, we say take action as parents.

1. Acting legally. I researched existing policies and procedures on bullying and violence in the school district. I found a policy and procedures related to harassment and violence. The main message was HARASSMENT IS UNACCEPTABLE.

2. Facts in writing. I obtained a detailed account of the facts of the incident. I was careful to focus on the facts and not opinions to be completely objective in the report.

3. Creating a sense of urgency. The next day, without an appointment, my whole family showed up at the school gate at 7:30 am, waiting to speak with the principal. They informed us that he would arrive at noon and that he could get an appointment for that time. My answer was that I'm going to wait for him here. We stayed seated in the management meeting room.

4. Creating a sense of importance. I requested to speak to each school instructor related to the class. I talked to the tutor, the counsellor, the music teacher, and the bookstore manager to let them know that I needed help. They were all very kind and expressed their rejection of this situation. I explained to them that my presence at school sent a message, MY SON IS IMPORTANT AND YOU HAVE TO ACT IMMEDIATELY.

5. Talking to the leader. When the principal arrived, I explained to her that we were following the procedure indicated by the school division for issues of harassment and violence, that this was the first instance and that there were three more (superintendence, board of directors, and criminal way). The principal expressed her total rejection of the incident and assured me that this would stop immediately.

6. Constant and fearless feedback. I called my son to inform him about our actions as parents and to please report any acts of retaliation. He immediately reacted and told us that one of the students pushed him in the hallway. The counsellor took immediate action and separated the attackers from the room.

7. Creating the change, leaving the comfort zone. Violent and harassing behaviours are usually intelligent, they hide for a while and seek to appear again when they find favourable conditions, where there are no witnesses or someone who can intervene. So in the afternoon, I'm at the door waiting for my son, and in the morning I'm there again. "They" see me, they know that I am his father, that my son is important to me, that nothing is worth more than him. The teachers see me, they feel the pressure to respond with concrete actions. In the morning I send the complaint in writing. According to school district procedure, the school has 2 days to respond to the complaint.

Similarly in the workplace, employees who use violence and harass others read the company's personality and reactions when someone dares to report a fact. If the company acts lukewarm or its actions send a message of "this is not important" or "we are busy", the harasser/violent person will silence for a while, hoping to continue acting when conditions are more favourable

Our children read the message we give with the actions we take, the same school and the bullies too. At work, our employees read the same message sent by their leaders when they suffer harassment or violence. As my PACE instructor told me "Remember sometimes leaders can't always and shouldn't collaborate, they need to be directive". We have to take concrete actions against harassment and violence wherever there are.

My thanks to my PACE instructors at the University of Winnipeg for everything I learned with you in the Human Resources Diploma. They taught me:

1. How to interpret Canadian laws and regulations and organizational policies. MaryAnn Kempe MBA, CEC, FCPHR

2. How to create a sense of urgency and manage change by moving into the neutral zone. MaryAnn Kempe MBA, CEC, FCPHR

3. What type of leadership to act according to the situation. Ryan Michael Caligiuri

4. How to manage time better despite the pressures. Ashlie Wilson BA, CPHR

5. That stakeholder analysis is key when you undertake a project. Ken Molloy MOM MBA PMP

6. How to present ideas in a structured way, within a short time. Janice Goldsborough

7. That companies have a personality/culture, and we must relate according to it. Stephen Hayes

8. That putting things in writing is important to create a sense of analysis. Kelly Carpick

Let me tell you something; if you are experiencing harassment or violence at work, school or university, write to me at [email protected]. I am here to HELP eradicate this disease in organizations and life. We ALWAYS deserve to live free from fear and with a positive sense of purpose.