Happy Veterans Day - and if you transitioned this year - Welcome to the Club

As I sit here flipping between Liberty, OU and Clemson watching three different channels, it occurred to me that on Monday, I will celebrate my first Veterans Day as a Veteran. I spent my first Veterans Day in 1986 marching through the streets of Northfield with the rest of the Corps of Cadets and have been in a uniform my entire life. And as with all things, my time serving the Republic came to an end. On the 31st of May, I hung it up in a traditional Navy retirement ceremony in the Rotunda at Jefferson’s University of Virginia. 

What a difference a day makes. 

 I went to my first Navy Ball last month and wasn’t wearing my Dinner Dress, but a brand new tux. I went to a Marine Corps Birthday Ceremony on Friday, wearing wranglers, boots and a sport coat. And Monday, we are having a ceremony at work that I am not planning, having to make sure the Secretary or Chairman sit in the right seat, or making a speech on base, or getting the family packed up to ride in another parade in Kingsville. 

What a difference five and a half months make. 

I think it has taken almost that long to come to grips with all of this. Alot of my peers, Norwich classmates, friends and shipmates warned me this wasn’t going to be easy – and they were right. In the span of five and half months, I retired, had no job, had to find a job, found one, sold a house, bought a house, moved 3 dogs, 1 cat, three cars and the wife and 2 kids from Virginia to Texas. And somewhere in there, I started a job doing global military strategy and sales at Bell in Fort Worth. 

No matter how hard you prepare, you won’t be fully prepared. I went to Executive-Tap a year out and went with my twin brother (a first for the instructors teaching that week and was kind of a cool way to go out). I had the advantage of having my brother retire a few months ahead of me who tried to keep me one step ahead of the game. My resume was nearly perfect and my LinkedIn profile was tight– at least according to me. I had a bunch of custom-made suits made for me at the same place Coach Bennett has his made in Charlottesville. If they were good enough for a national championship coach, surely they would help me look great for that first interview. I even got with one of those networking mentoring groups that links you up with someone to help you along the way. 

You will hear this a lot, and I think it is pretty true. You will find a job. It takes time, a lot of effort, and you will have to rely on your network, your mentor, your gut, your friends, and everything you learned during that last 30 years. But I am here to tell you, that you will land somewhere. I was lucky to have some great friends and mentors who helped. I had one very special Marine friend help me find that job, a great house in a great neighborhood, and even a church to settle in close to home. That’s what I loved about the military and miss already. I met Joker 15 years ago at JFSC and he has been a blessing ever since. 

For me, the struggles came from places I didn’t plan for or think about very much. I actually have to figure out what to wear every day. While I bought some great clothes and Bell has a “dress for your day” policy, darn, if I just keep grabbing a Bell golf shirt every morning – my attempt at a uniform. As a side note, last week I had to do nine - yes nine – training modules of one sort or another. I guess some things never change. I have to handle all of my HR drama and travel plans on my own. Dang if I don’t miss Ms. Janie, my EA during my base command tour! I have to figure out how to get to the Dr, the Dentist and get a script refilled. The other day I successfully navigated an appointment with my civilian eye Doctor and was thrilled – up until she handed me a bill for the new frames! For the last fifteen years I had a bathroom, an office, a parking spot, and a staff. Now I have to ask for some level of help for what I am sure all the folks in my office think are pretty basic issues. And with all of this, I have to manage working with DFAS, TRICARE, and the VA. The VA process is tough. But this too shall pass. 

What a difference a day makes.        

 So what is my point? Transitions are not easy and no two transitions are alike. But you will get through this. People helped me and I am here to help you. If I can offer one piece of advice, it is to lean on someone. I didn’t really lean on anyone for too much, and I should have. If I can be of any help to anyone, I am here for you. And the second thing I would offer is take time for yourself and your family. I failed miserably at this. Once we got all the out of town guests out the door, I devoted every waking minute to landing a job. And once I found that job, it was damn the torpedoes, full steam ahead. We did manage a week on the Disney Wonder, but I screwed that up too. We drove all the way home on debarkation day, 14 hours. Then the next day I was on a plane for Texas, leaving my Bride to, you guessed it, start that pack-out without me. The third and final thing I would offer is give yourself time to grieve, heal, or whatever the word I am looking for is… We left our home, all our friends, our church, our baseball team, our homeschool groups, and our shipmates for a new start in Texas. And like I said, while trying to manage this thing they call a transition. If you need someone to help you navigate this, don’t hesitate to reach out. 

Monday, I am going to my first Veterans Day ceremony as a Veteran. I don’t have my VFW or Legion Cap, and I am certainly not wearing a Navy ball cap to Lowes just yet. Maybe I will wear that NAS Pensacola issued brown leather flight jacket for old times’ sake. I will sit there and enjoy the moment reflecting on the last 33 years. More importantly, I will reflect on those who have served the Republic since our founding over two centuries ago. Less than one percent of Americans have served our nation in uniform. I am grateful to everyone of them. I am especially grateful to my brother, my cousins, my uncles, and every member of my family and my bride’s family who have worn the cloth of our nation and have been an inspiration to me and my kids. If my son or daughter decides to follow in my footsteps, they will follow 3 generations who served during wartime and earned the title Veteran. 

I am honestly looking forward to Monday. I am looking forward to thanking some old timer for his service, and getting to simply enjoy the moment knowing I can sit there and soak it up for once. For one day, I am not going to worry about the VA or whether my new “shipmates” are wondering why they hired me. Then after that, I am going to work on some VA “stuff”, take my kids hunting, and do the best job I can do for Bell while giving myself a break for not remembering everyone’s name or knowing exactly what to do in this new corporate setting. 

On Monday, I am going to celebrate Veterans Day with all Americans.  

What a difference a day makes.