Happy (Recalibration) Birthday to me!

So.

It’s been a whole year since I stepped away from full time employment. From the industry I’ve worked in for decades.

52 weeks.

Who could have predicted the shitstorm that would have ensued shortly after? There was me, thinking that I’d have the time to flounce about, doing what I may, finding myself.

In part, that has been the case. I’ve certainly had lots of time at home to think about stuff – as I’m sure we all have! I’ve spent lots of time elbow deep in dust and tile adhesive. I’ve not done half as much as I’d hoped, but on reflection, I’ve also achieved more than I expected. I’ve tried to capture points along that journey with recalibration diaries and have been astounded by the messages and goodwill that has been sent my way from people reading them.

Insight, observation, caution and solidarity in equal measure. For all of that I will always be grateful.

I’ve deviated recently from my recalibration diaries to elaborate on some tools that might be useful to creative undergraduates as they attempt to navigate these horribly uncertain and unpredictable times. I intend to continue these in due course but I also wanted to mark the anniversary of my recalibration with a final ‘toe dip’ of self observation.

Then I think I’ll probably stop banging on about it.

You’ve had enough.

Once again, I am simply cataloguing the brain ooze that emanates from my greying cranium. There’s no real logic nor strategy to any of it. It is for you to decipher, analyse, cringe at or vehemently disagree with.

So, as you have been no doubt accustomed, I’m going to do this in bullet points…

1.     The meshing bit

Remember those life and work gears?

Since mentioning it in a previous post, I’ve used the term several times in conversation with people when I’ve described how I’m doing. It seems to work well (at least for a visually inclined person like myself) to describe the way that I’m attempting to manage my work/life balance, or at least intend to. I like the term ‘gear’ as it presumes a pre-determined ratio which then locks in.

This time off has taught me that I probably couldn’t exist entirely without ‘work’ (whatever ‘work’ is…I’ll come to that later) as it helps to satiate the bits of my brain that still need the occasional feeding. The bits that have evolved and mutated over 25 years of consulting to need stroking every once in a while. I’m also not fortunate enough to have the truckload of cash security to allow myself that decision either. However, I’m sure that a complete return to a full time, commuting heavy, creative leadership role will send me straight back into the bad habits and over-committed, all-consuming hurricane that I inhabited beforehand.

Whilst I’ve not had to ‘work’ full time under COVID restrictions (for which I am grateful), I’m also liking the flexibility and fluidity with which it has afforded some working practices. The idea that it isn’t necessarily about 5 days working on the trot followed by 2 days ‘off’ or specifically fixed hours or locations. I appreciate that for most, this still will be the case, but for me, I can start to structure my ‘work’ gear in a way that better suits my ‘life’ gear. What ratio and arrangement that results in, I’ve yet to determine, but as a visual metaphor for balance, I plan to use it until it fails me.

2.     Good counsel

I was asked by some people I had the great privilege to meet online (as part of a slightly ‘left of centre’ initiative to connect people that don’t know each other, to a simple ‘conversation’) to cite one thing about COVID that has been beneficial. I responded by saying that it had encouraged (or forced) me to have more conversations with people that I had either lost touch with or not previously known with no other purpose than to ‘shoot the breeze’.

Prior to COVID, I would always frame a conversation or catchup with an agenda of sorts, and if I’m honest, my natural resting state is of someone quite happy in my own mind and space without any need to seek ‘company’ (my kids call it ‘being grumpy’). I’d typically need a reason to connect or talk. That tends to result in a pre-determined form of discourse as the invitee often assumes that it is more professional or driven that it should be – particularly when they are not people I’d speak to under normal day to day circumstances.

But under COVID rules and housebound restrictions, I’ve hugely benefitted from having some brief but thoroughly worthwhile chats over this past year with peers, past colleagues, vague acquaintances, complete strangers and long lost buddies with no specific agenda. For sure, there may have been something that prompted me to reach out or vice versa, but the resultant conversation has been fluid, meaningful and rewarding…at least for me (I can’t vouch for the return traffic!). Every single one of them has helped me understand myself a little better, bring a little more perspective to a crazy world, reassure me of my thoughts and believe in the common good of humankind.

It reaffirms my opinion on much of the self-aggrandising* guff you see when you skim through content on LinkedIn (although I have to be careful here because I certainly benefit from that platform!) – see point 4.

The push to video as a common means of communication has also smashed any prior caution about using it, to the extent that a lack of video on a call that may previously have happily been a simple voice call, courts an element of suspicion.

Go figure!

Regardless though, I’d like to thank all those people who have taken their time to share some of it with me with little reason. It’s been fun and helpful. People like Paul B., Jamie W., Nat H., Dan K., Andy L., Kevin Q., Matt C., Andy P., Ben L., Steffi S., Neill R. & Keiran R.

*Sorry...had to use that word again. Too good a word not to!

3.     Staged comeback

When I left my last job, I think most people assumed I would come back with ‘something’, with that something probably being another nimble design business.

In truth, I kinda thought the same.

Maybe not on the same timescales as everyone else expected of me, but certainly I’ve had lots of time to think about different business models, approaches, propositions, talent, modes of operation and services. Some of these have been really interesting, potentially really profitable and intriguingly exciting so I fully reserve the right to completely change my mind and start one up in years to come. Who knows.

So whilst the nature of my ‘return’ decisions may feel somewhat lacking fanfare or deliberateness, they more than make up for in decisiveness of ‘balance’…those gears I talked about. My determination to get that bit right has inadvertently defined the way in which my immediate future is coming to pass. My desire to achieve flexibility in my working week, adaptability in my working practices and honesty in my modus operandi, have meant that I’m getting back online in a way that suits me, my family and the people that work with me. In truth, this has been significantly influenced by COVID but I’d like to think that given the same set of circumstances but disregarding a global pandemic, I may still have settled on the same outcome.

It also leads me nicely to announce that as well as dipping my toe gingerly in the creative consulting waters, I also plan to offer a more formal mentoring service to anyone who thinks my time and support may be useful to them (what’s the sound of one hand clapping?).

I’ll announce this in another post with a link back to here in due course. It complements the stuff I’m doing with undergraduates nicely.

4.     Glass empires

This is a by-product of spending quite a bit of time on LinkedIn looking at opportunities and attempting to be a useful conduit through which businesses and individuals can promote open vacancies (for those that follow my activity, you will see that I attempt to reshare as many active job ads as possible). As you scour the relay of "10 things that can make you a better leader" or yet more infographics that attempt to communicate the design process to people who really haven’t got a clue and don’t give a damn, it’s hard not to feel small.

This might seem like an odd thing to comment on, but I distinctly recall experiencing the same feelings when I ran my own, small design business. The feeling that everyone else has somehow ‘made it’ and has garnered impressive titles, positions and influence, and that you are somehow treading water in the peripheral abyss, attempting to make an impression on the small sphere of influence your chewed fingernails cling to. Espousing lists of FTSE 100 businesses and brands that agencies have ‘collaborated’ with, the use of the word ‘Global’ in a job title and the guarded nature of information sharing or approachability all help to make us all feel a little less happy with our lot, despite bucketloads of evidence to the contrary.

I mention this because it is only with some time away, a little more grey hair and a few more years of experience that I can safely say that this is harmful and should not be expected behaviour. I went from running a small design agency for 12 years to leading a design team at a ‘well known’ larger agency and somehow my influence and ‘perception’ as a thought leader increased. I won’t lie…it felt good.

For a bit.

My opinions were somehow more worthy than they had ever been, despite no change in my knowledge or personality. I know what it’s like to run a small business with little outward reputation despite kicking out bloody good work. I know what it’s like to seek advice. I know what it’s like to feel small but forge on.

The tendency for many in our industry (and I’m sure the wider business community at large) to project an aura of success and influence is understandable but should not be underestimated in the damage it can cause to people seeking growth, insight and comfort. We could all be so much more approachable, less chest beating, more humble and less fucking competitive. We are all good at what we do. Why crow so hard and put up such a barrier to open and helpful discourse?

Maybe put as much effort into doing great work and helping foster burgeoning young talent as you do sharing how influential you are or how important you have become. Pay it forward and start to ensure that the generation chasing you don’t become a concentrated version of your own.

Apologies…rant over. Some things run deep.

5.     Push less

One of the big changes for me has been the change to a ‘push less’ approach to engaging with people…at least at a professional level. Much of that has been a deliberate act on my part (recalibration) and an obvious by-product of stepping away. Why would I continue to ‘push’ when I’m stepping back anyway huh? However, as I start to re-engage, I’ve found myself much less inclined to lean inwards…metaphorically speaking.

You could also argue that I’m not in a position to ‘need’ to actively sell or be the momentum in the early stages of a client relationship. That is true, but after 25 consultancy years of active ‘pushing’ (in the nicest, most engaging way possible…obviously!), I’ve found myself less worried about being as ‘needy’ and ‘on it’ as I may previously have been. Ironically…things I’ve always drilled into young, ambitious design consultants in my prior businesses. Maybe it’s an age thing? Maybe it’s a lack of urgency in my life right now? Maybe it’s an experience thing? Would I migrate to a less ‘push’ mentality at this stage in my life, regardless of the decisions I’d taken? Who knows.

For the time being, I’m enjoying letting the opportunities dictate their own pace, rather than pushing to make them go faster or convince key people to engage earlier. It’s quite cathartic really, although there will always be a compartment in my brain, shackled in a straightjacket, screaming at me to push harder. I guess that bit is a little less dominant and in his own version of an acoustic isolation chamber…no reverb, no echo, just silent noise.

With less push, however, comes no less engagement. Don’t worry, I’ve not turned into The Dude from the Big Lebowski. More the Wolf from Pulp Fiction. Reacting to life’s problems with professionalism and speed when the circumstances permit. But without the corvette, tux or penchant for disposing of dead people.

6.     Contentment vs. Ambition

I have been an ambitious sod in my career.

Hopefully not in an arrogant way (although I’ll leave that for others to judge and comment on), but certainly in a way that made me want to strive for bigger, better, faster and seemingly impossible things, regardless of how secure my current position was at the time. Ambition has driven me forwards when logic and current evidence may have suggested otherwise. I’ve talked about Paul Arden’s book before, but it sums things up nicely. I never really understood why people were not ambitious. Why they didn’t want change or greater challenges to prove themselves worthy of.

Those were the thoughts that immediately filled my head when I first stepped back…what’s the next big thing? It was always linked to ambition.

Over this past year, and to my surprise, the word ambition has very much been replaced by the word contentment. Ambition suggests ‘up and to the right’ as was so eloquently described by Nick in his recent talk (here).

Contentment suggests ‘flat’. We don’t like flat do we? We want to constantly strive for more. More respect. More adulation. More stuff. Just more.

Flat is your engine motor idling. Waiting. Pausing. Unmoving.

Wrong.

Contentment is really fucking important. Contentment means you have reconciled your life into blocks or gears that make sense. You have understood what makes you happy and you have managed those elements to make happiness more easily accessible and less of a surprise when it happens. Contentment is the bit when you’ve found the wave, paddled like hell, timed it perfectly and are now standing atop your board. Cruising the crest of the wave, matching the pace of the world and enjoying the fruits of your ambition.

Contentment is not laziness. Or boredom. Or lack of ambition.

Contentment and ambition can be bedfellows.

So there you have it. My ‘One year on’ set of observations. Probably nothing revelatory there and almost all of it predictable or expected. I hope to remain contented, keep good counsel, push less and ensure my gears are meshed in the correct ratio. Whether this actually happens remains to be seen, but it’s been fun doing a bit of self-reflection. It helps to sit and write it all down. Some of it holds up. Some of it sounds like momentary petulance. That’s why it’s good to capture it, so you can learn …I guess.

Here’s hoping that continued vaccine rollout means that poor old 2021 can start to recalibrate and we can get back to some sense of ‘old normal’. The good bits that is.

The bits with people and laughter and freedom and travel.

Maybe we can preserve some of the working freedoms, the reduction in commuting and pollution levels, the appreciation of where we live and the people around us that we so often took for granted.

Speaking of people. I'd like to specifically thank Vicky, Elena & Niall for their friendship, humour, advice, patience and to raising a virtual glass of something every Friday. Cheers guys!

I for one am looking forward to a bit of normality again.

Take care.

Russell