Happy New Year!

1 September always feels more like a new beginning to me than 1 January. Even all these decades after leaving education, it harks back to the heady promise of a new school year; new teachers, new subjects, new classroom. THIS year, I'll do all my homework on time. THIS year, I'll work really hard and get the grades I'm capable of.

And, like New Year resolutions, by the end of September my good intentions had always slipped quietly by the wayside, falling noiselessly in place to pave the road to hell.

It's like that when we're building an inclusive mindset. We read or watch something that reminds us that we could be doing more to make our workplace, our friendship group, our family more inclusive and a safe space for everyone. We could be paying more attention to what's going on in the world and what it means for the community around us. We could be more courageous in speaking up when we see or hear something that discriminates against others. We could be examining our reactions to people and events more closely, to better understand our own prejudices and assumptions.

I ran a workshop on how to have courageous conversations this week with a client. We were talking about how to speak up when we see or hear discrimination, and how to react when we're the one being called out.

One of the topics we discussed was what to do when something happens during social time. What if everyone is in the pub after work, and somebody who's had one drink too many says something that they wouldn't say if they were sober?

First of all, we acknowledged that everyone going to the pub can be non-inclusive in itself. Not everyone enjoys the vibe or feels comfortable in a pub, so finding ways to socialise that everyone enjoys is an inclusive conversation to have.

To answer the question, though, saying 'I'm really sorry, I was a bit drunk' isn't a valid excuse for saying something inappropriate. Five or ten years ago, when inclusion was becoming a mainstream conversation, well-meaning, aspiring allies like me were extolling the virtues of accepting positive intent as a reason to forgive someone who has said or done something harmful.

Now, we know better. Now, we realise that intent is irrelevant if the impact is harmful. A genuine apology, putting things right and a commitment to do better is how we respond to any harm that we cause, even if it was unintentional.

'I didn't mean to poke you in the eye' you could say. Sure, but I still have a sore eye.

So if a boozy social evening results in someone saying something inappropriate and causing harm, it's their responsibility to put it right. And it's everyone's responsibility to respond and behave as though it had taken place in the working environment. The fact that you're not in working hours or on working premises is irrelevant. Our responsibility to treat our colleagues with dignity and respect doesn't end with the working day.

This week's Inclusion Coach content

I've decided to press pause on creating YouTube content until the end of the year. It takes two or three hours to create a five-minute video from start to finish, and although I've no shortage of people in my DMs clamouring to help me with SEO, editing and the like, I want to focus on other things for the rest of this year. There's 46 videos on the Inclusion Coach channel, so plenty to keep you going until I'm back in January!

This week:

My thoughts on the Luis Rubiales row...

...how to meet people where they are as an aspiring ally...

...why religious views don't excuse discrimination...

...a YouTube commenter who persisted in insisting on the impossibility of psychological safety in a cancel culture...

... reflecting on the little things I couldn't do this time last year...

...and an article on 12 things I learned in my first year of self-employment.

That's it for this week - see you next time!