FAST FORWARD TO NEW YEAR’S EVE: “Hi from Simone, the Park Avenue poodle! Happy New Year to people and pets, and I hope 2023 is the best one yet!
Raymond and Grace, my parents, are having a soiree at our Park Avenue apartment.
I hope the festivities bring good cheer, especially needed this year.
Some of our friends from the building are here, and bien sur, Ricardo, my poodle beau. Lexi, my BFF English Sheepdog pal, and her humans are guests. Charmaine, my Bichon friend, and her parents are also invitees.
Invitees can socialize in our apartment or on our large terrace if they wish.
Several of my humans’ other pals will stop by later for a toast.
Jorge, our chef, is doing the cooking and will be a guest, and Ardsley, our butler, will serve and then join the celebration.
Beautiful Grace is wearing a striking silver gown and silver Jimmy Choo high heels, contrasted by her half upswept golden blonde hair. I love her shiny statement necklace in silver and gold, truth be told.
Dashing Raymond is wearing a white shirt, a black bow tie, black shoes, and a black tux that is luxe.
I have opted not to wear an outfit, but have my hair blown out, fluffed, and have full pompoms.
Mojito, my temperamental Chihuahua walking partner, is home. Mojito’s annoying barking might be heard around town. So, I really hope his owners can hear the TV broadcasting the Times Square New Year’s countdown.
Mojito did say ‘Happy New Year!’ Guess he has holiday cheer.
Back to our party: The ambience is perfect to dine, sublime, and ideal for having a wonderful time.
The fragrance of the beautiful flowers will last for hours.
The elegance of roses and gardenias . . . Ahh . . .
Scented gold candles of various sizes adorn our living room.
The glimmering lights shine in the night.
The dining room table is set with gold décor, and there is more!
Courtesy of super chef Jorge, there’s gourmet food galore!
A four-course meal, featuring shrimp cocktail or oysters (or both!), salad with beets, walnuts, and gorgonzola, filet mignon with bearnaise sauce, scalloped potatoes or sweet potatoes, and flavorful veggies await. It will be great! Of course, as a dog, I crave sirloin or Porterhouse steak.
And my wishes are to have the other yummy human dishes. Yahoo!
Jorge baked dessert delights to usher in this special night. His decadent cakes, breads, and pies entice the eye.
And guess what? Jorge is making a big gold-colored Baked Alaska dessert in the shape of the New Year's Eve's ball. The concoction will be flambeed, but a stern warning to our butler, Ardsley: 'Stay Away!'
A large and embellished gold ball hangs on our living room ceiling, but for safety, it doesn’t drop. Leave it to my mommy and pop!
The TV in the living room will be on for the New Year’s countdown, as the ball drops seconds before midnight.
Recorded swing and popular music is playing, and Grace and Raymond are swaying.
As for this poodle girl, I can’t wait to get on my hind legs and twirl. Bring on ‘The Nutcracker’ by Tchaikovsky; He’s the one for me! Later Grace will probably pick up my front legs and dance with me.
The typical human goals are to lose weight and improve money matters. As a dog, I don't worry about dollars, but I must keep my figure looking fine.
But this year exercising is not one of my resolutions, since Frank says he’ll walk us to new blocks and on longer jaunts. So, I’ll be doing lots of moving and grooving.
Mommy and daddy bought me a red fleece jogging suit and cute matching sneaks for my precious feet. Comfort and style can’t be beat.
On very cold days I can also sprint around inside and hit my stride. Maybe I’ll ride the exercise bike that one of my human’s will adjust for me.
Ricardo admires my shape, but I don’t want to resemble a huge ape. The holiday eating, lunches, and steak dinners take a toll. I must maintain my curves, but don’t want to look like a bowl.
Don’t underestimate the importance of preserving my Park Avenue poodle image. Want the paparazzi to keep taking pictures of me.
I pride myself in being smart, so it’s time to brush off my poodle pompoms and get a brand new start.
Since I do not rest on my canine laurels, I have made six resolutions. In descending order, the resolutions are:
6. I want to try to find Mojito an actual girlfriend. Frank and I know many pooches, but it will be beyond difficile.
CALLING ALL FEMALE DOGS: Is there one very patient canine that can tolerate the obstinate Chihuahua with the shrill bow-wow? She has to be tres understanding. Maybe Mojito can entice her with his Park Avenue bling.
Perhaps a doggie with an equally annoying yap will be perfect for the Chihuahua. Then they can drown out each other’s bow-wows. One girl canine that is crazy, too and a little tone deaf would be ideal for Mojito.
But could the obsessive and delusional Mojito ever stop talking about females in multiples, as in a 70-girl harem, and just focus on getting one? The Chihuahua’s reality: As far as love prospects, Mojito has none.
Does Mojito’s doggie counterpart even exist? Well, he better meet ONE soon, and that’s my wish.
He is so difficult, unhappy, and yappy. If Mojito meets a girl, maybe she can tag along with us.
Hope I don't find out that she’s too much to take, and it’s a big mistake. Double trouble? No thank you.
A bonus if the Chihuahua gets a girl: Maybe he'll leave Lexi, my Sheepdog BFF, alone. Mixed-up Mojito imagines Lexi as his Number One girl/wife. Mojito realizes that pretty Lexi can’t see him with all that fur in her eyes, and I think that’s the key. Not to mention she’s about five times his size!
Mojito thinks Lexi is na?ve, but the smart and savvy Sheepdog tells Mojito: 'As if!’ yet the stubborn Chihuahua persists!
Guess what? I’m now his Number Two girl/wife candidate. Every girl dog Mojito sees, he wants. He’s like a kid in a toy store: ‘Give me this and give me that!’ I don’t want to say it, but Mojito’s pretty much a brat.
5. I want to attempt to understand Ardsley, our butler, and his jealous dynamic towards Jorge better.
Jorge, our chef, makes delicious meals, and he and Ricardo, my boyfriend, live with us. So, we have the luxury of Four-Star home dining. Hooray! Why not call it the 'Margery’s Café?’
I’ll admit that Ardsley does set a lovely table. If he subtracted being argumentative and complaining, it would be much better, and that should be one of Ardsley's resolutions. Definitely!
Our butler and our chef are a study in contrasts. Yes, that’s it.
English Ardsley feels that he should live the good life with a beautiful wife, yet like Mojito, there's not a woman in sight. Ardsley brags that he trained at the Thames Butler Academy across the pond, but to be real, he’s no James Bond.
Then there’s Spanish Jorge, who studied at a famous cooking school in Paris. Oui! I’m sure a multitude of French girls swooned when he strolled the Champs Elysee and that Jorge made their day.
When they heard his Spanish accent, he was a hit. His 'Si' and their 'Oui' became a combined 'Si-oui!' When in doubt, I guess Jorge opted for 'Yes' to impress.
The merging of two languages can create romance. Then add gestures that are just like dance. Sometimes no words need to be heard. A touch of the hand, a stroke of the hair, a tender kiss, and a loving look may be all it took.
Granted Ardsley can carry a plate, but as far as I know, he never has a date! Wonder why? Could it be that he’s such a nice guy? I’m being sardonic.
On the other hand, Jorge is a looker and a superb cooker. When ladies are around, they fawn over him. Grumpy Ardsley talks to himself and sets the table for din. Surprise that he doesn’t break any plates.
Women love to sample Jorge's culinary delights and say he is out of sight!
Jorge is fantastic, while Ardsley is usually sarcastic.
Our chef is very polite, but our antagonistic butler is always ready to fight. And as he gets older, Ardsley gets a bigger chip on his shoulder and is bolder.
Jorge is refined. On the other hand, Ardsley is a rude dude. Grace tells him to change his negative attitude.
With a beaming smile, Jorge has so much style. Frowning Ardsley is dressed in his butler’s costume and mumbles, and grumbles around the room.
Jorge has unabashed charm, but Ardsley, ‘What’s the harm?’
Jorge is positive and uplifts, and this is a true gift.
I don't want to gush, but I can't praise Jorge enough! He has that 'je ne sais quoi,' and as the Swedish say: 'Yaj!'
Then there's Ardsley, who as a bitter gent, resents Jorge's talents.
Our butler can barely fry an egg, overcooks meat, burns toast, and then boasts. Meanwhile, Jorge is modest and gives us nothing but his best.
Jorge's desire for excellence never stops. Some might say it's over the top! Whatever cuisine or gourmet dish Grace wants, Jorge creates.
Jorge aims to please and succeeds. He's like Samantha on 'Bewitched' without a nose twitch! He stirs and folds with one hand, and voila: Food that is grand!
Ardsley’s lucky he has a job, but he is such a snob.
It's no doubt that our chef is very congenial and clean; Our butler is barely neat and is mean. Grace supervises Ardsley, inspects, and corrects.
Ardsley is conceited for no good reason and during any season, is not pleasing.
Our butler's attitude of superiority masks his feelings of inferiority. To be sure, he is very insecure. Call it jealousy with a capital J, and it's evident in every way.
The bottom line is that like a fine wine, Jorge is rare, but Ardsley doesn't seem to care. He doesn't put much effort into his work and acts like a bonified jerk.
Ardsley rolls his eyes and can't deal with Jorge being a prize.
Maybe Ardsley knows he just can't compete any day of the week.
Jorge fits in perfectly on Park Avenue, while Ardsley manages a basic: ‘How do you do?'
Ardsley complains that he resides in a small Chelsea apartment, but Jorge lives in our penthouse, and will probably get a beautiful spouse.
Maybe it is not fair, but these two can't compare.
Jorge has Ricardo, my poodle beau, while Ardsley is solo. Our butler said maybe he'll get a canine, so he can have a life that is mighty fine. But, come on, Ardsley, just grow up! -- It takes more than getting a pup. And what dog would want you? Maybe Mojito! Oh, he's got humans, but you are tailor made for each other -- one of a kind and both out of your mind!
You get the picture, so enough said. Now can I have a piece of Jorge’s homemade pumpkin bread?
4. ‘Je t’aime’ and ‘Je t’adore’ will be the French words I’ll utter to Ricardo more, meaning 'I love you' and "I adore you.' He is the most affectionate boyfriend. Sprinkle in charming, handsome, and sweet, and Ricardo can't be beat. Love is sublime, and I'm a very lucky canine.
Ricardo gives me soothing back rubs, and I'll reciprocate, and give him more kisses and hugs.
3. Speaking of admiration, I will tell Frank, my dog walker, more how much I love and appreciate him. He walks me, Mojito, and Ricardo three times a day, seven days a week!
He’s devoted to me and is kind as can be.
Frank does just about everything for moi! He dresses me, takes us to Central Park, and we usually lunch at Café Beaucoup: me, Frank, Ricardo, and you know who. Love French food --Yahoo!
We go to the park and play on a lark.
When Mojito acts up, Frank mediates, and Mojito gets calming CBD biscuits to eat. Frank brings me bacon treats.
On my Beauty Days at Ma Belle Chien, Frank often waits four hours for me to finish! Either way, Frank loves his caramel and pumpkin lattes and pastries, and he is patient as can be. Sometimes he drops me off, walks Mojito, and then they pick me up.
We go clothes shopping when I want or need something. My people advise him what to buy, and pronto, it’s done! Frank asks if I like the color and style, and usually, I say ‘Yes’ in dog talk, and smile.
He escorts me to Dr. Barton’s office, who is my vet, for my medical and dental check-ups. If I get nervous, Frank calms me down.
And what would I do without Frank translating my barks to my pet parents?
Frank is my 'Super Dog Walker and Great Friend' and on that I can depend!
Mom and dad bought Frank a special New Year's gift from all of us, as in a luxurious cashmere coat with a satin lining and a matching cashmere scarf. They also got him leather gloves, lined with cashmere. Top it off with a Borsellino hat, and that's that!
Frank was very happy with the big Christmas bonus my parents gave him, and I am talking beaucoup bucks. And he can wear the coat, scarf, gloves, and hat when he takes his wife and kids out to celebrate because he rates!
He is with his family for New Year’s Eve, but he walked me, Ricardo, and Mojito earlier. Mojito was unexpectedly mellow and that's because of the CBD treats that Frank gave him to eat.
Jorge even baked Frank one of his faves, a Black Forest cake!
2. This resolution is for the rest of our household staff and my stylist. Of course, I’ll thank Jorge for his scrumptious meals. I'll even say thank you to Ardsley. Since he’s moody, I don’t want to get on his bad side, as he feeds me sometimes.
I'm grateful to my nanny, Francine, for keeping our place lovely by cleaning it and rearranging things, when necessary. Thank you to Francine for making my room pristine. When she is not around, my clothes are sometimes on the floor. Even though I’m a Standard Poodle, I can’t reach the clothing hook on my door.
I share the room with Ricardo, and as a typical kind of messy boy, he's been known to throw his paw socks, jammies, and hoodies on the floor. So, I will try to keep our room tidier. Maybe I can take my paw or my teeth and put the outfits, and socks away in a drawer.
Ditto to Lilly, my Ma Belle Chien stylist, who perfects my poodle hair. Why, she’s extraordinaire! She calls me a: ‘Perfectly Pampered Poodle!’ When Lilly pampers me now, all I can say is: 'Wow!'
DRUM ROLLS, PLEASE! HERE'S MY NUMBER ONE RESOLUTION:
1. My parents take fantastic care of me. Dad works hard on Wall Street to provide for our family and gives us a beautiful, sprawling home on Park Avenue with a great Manhattan view. We have delicious food to eat, not to mention my stylish canine clothes and booties for my feet.
I have lovely poodle patterned bedding, toys, and stuffed animals of hims and hers.
Grace has become more attentive and reads me bedtime stories, tomes, and poems. Love ‘The Three Bears,’ ‘Sleeping Beauty’ and of course, ‘THE POODLES OF PARK AVENUE ‘ -- It’s about me, you see!
So, I’ll greet my parents with big kisses and bark: ‘Je t’aime!’ more often.
They don't understand poodle quite yet, although they’re getting better, so maybe Frank can write notes that say: 'Mommy and daddy, I love you! Your poodle kid, Simone.'
Frank bought milk chocolate ganache truffles, dark chocolate covered strawberries, and marzipan from a Madison Avenue chocolatier and gave them to Grace and Raymond from me. Mom said they are yummy!
An added wish: I aim to look better, if that’s even possible, feel my best, and be friendlier to dogs and people. I want to relax more. Not surprisingly, I’m all about progress.
I also want to write more poems and stories, and maybe I'll even write another book!
On this New Year's Eve, I appreciate 2022, but it has been a difficult year. I want everyone to be healed.
I wish that people and businesses prosper and thrive. I want humans to be secure and have good lives.
To all the abandoned and neglected animals: I hope you get happy forever homes. I hope someone will keep you warm and protect you from harm.
Dogs and cats: You deserve love and protection, and much affection. Why not adopt a loving pet? You'll be the happiest yet!
So, enjoy, and I hope all your goals and dreams come true. And that's from me to you!
Ardsley is pouring bubbly, and everyone, including Jorge, has their champagne flutes ready to toast 2023!
Ricardo and me, and Lexi don’t feel left out, since Ardsley is serving us champagne in doggie crystal glasses. Actually, it’s mostly Perrier with a little champagne. But, I’ll take champagne sippees and get tipsy.
And surprise, surprise, our butler is getting ready to toast a Happy New Year to Jorge! I guess Ardsley wants to make peace – Wonders never cease. Between you and me, I think Ardsley feels guilty as can be since to Jorge, he has been far from friendly.
Jorge can’t help it if he’s got it all. Maybe Ardsley would have a piece of the pie (figuratively, since he eats Jorge’s pies), if he acted like Jorge and that means being nice. And that is my meaningful advice.
The Times Square countdown is beginning, and Raymond and Grace are calling me, Ricardo, and the gang to watch TV.
The ball is starting to drop: 'TEN ... NINE ... EIGHT ... SEVEN ... SIX ... FIVE ...'
I have to go!
Soon 2022 will be over, so to you and your four-legged rover: May the New Year bring good health, peace, prosperity, and happiness to you.
To the doggies: I hope you have a Pawfect New Year!
Celebrate and best wishes for 2023, and that’s from me!
Bonne Annee!
HAPPY NEW YEAR! Hear, hear!”
Written by: Simone, THE Park Avenue poodle, who is celebrating, helped by Karen-Cherie Cogane
