Happy New Year 2022 - Focus on the gain not the gap!

I recently saw that a new movie called Death to 2021 has come out. I guess for a lot of people 2021 wasn’t a great year to say the least.

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For me, 2021 turned out to be a year of reflection. I felt the need to slow things down, to think about what I really wanted in this next stage of my life, to connect with a deeper purpose or to renew the one I had.

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I’ve always lived a life of passion and purpose. Always followed my heart and done exactly what I wanted to do even though that many times meant taking the unbeaten path and at times struggling to find the right solution.

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Sometimes waiting and tuning in is necessary.

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In 2021 I felt like many of my major life goals had been achieved. I turned 40 in November and most of the year I simply felt like I had no clue what was next.

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It felt both frustrating and like something new was in the process of being born. For an impatient person like myself, not finding immediate answers was very hard. I experienced problems with my health that I’ve never had before and, also, here I was forced to be patient and wait for an answer to come to me.

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It just came to me a couple of weeks ago, and now I have a plan. But it took time. Change is never easy, but it can be liberating and renewing. Like finding a piece of yourself, strength, knowledge and wisdom that you didn’t know you had.

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The hardest part was the uncertainty and being brave enough to lean into that and accept that sometimes you don’t have the answer. Sometimes it does take time. Maybe you feel you don’t have time. But what’s important is that you keep doing, that you keep chipping away, putting one foot in front of the other, even when you can’t see the way and you’re afraid you’re going the wrong way.

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Eventually clarity will set in. Action of any sort, wrong or right will lead you back to the truth and allow you to find your way back to the right path whatever that means, i.e., health, relationships, life or business.

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Waiting is not the same as standing still. Sometimes you have to let previous things fall apart in order to discover new truths that open things back up.

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In this process, it can be easy to focus on the gap instead of the gain. By this I mean focusing on what isn’t working, getting stuck in an obstacle, getting stuck emotionally, being afraid of doing the wrong thing and therefore doing nothing, or simply not remembering to pat yourself on the back for all the things that did improve or went well. We focus on the negative instead of the positive.

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When this happens, we tend to attract more negative. But even this is a partial solution, because we learn in the process what not to do, what we don’t want, etc.

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Nothing ever actually stands still. Everything moves, either forwards or backwards.

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When I work with riders, many often focus on the fear of doing the wrong thing, undoing what the trainer did, or focusing on their faults, mistakes, weaknesses or lack of knowledge.

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They forget to focus on the things that went right, the skills that improved, the solutions they found, the experience they gained; they forgot to focus on their strengths. They focus on the distance they still have to go, instead of the distance they’ve already covered.

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With horses, my clarity is 100%. I always focus on the gain; the gap feels more like a challenge and, therefore, exciting and positive instead of a problem that seems negative. I guess that’s because I’ve never doubted my resolve when it came to horses, and I’ve never worried about time. I always knew and still do that the goal will eventually be achieved. I’ve always known that the journey in itself is the goal. Sometimes things go fast, sometimes slow, but I always find my way.

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I guess it’s harder if you doubt yourself.

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Therefore, for 2022 my promise to myself is not to doubt myself and to enjoy the journey. Even in the areas where I don’t have that certainty.

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If you’re embarking on new goals, renewing yourself or have found new purpose, remember the old you from 2021 doesn’t know how to step into that new vision yet. That’s why it’s new. The old you doesn’t have the answers yet, nor the experience, confidence or wisdom. All that is your new personal growth cycle that you will have to go through from the beginning to the end.

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Think about what your future self will look like, behave like, feel like. What new beliefs will you need to have in order to become that person and which old beliefs (like doubting yourself) will you have to let go of.

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Focus on every little thing that goes right. Observe the things that go wrong but try not to judge them. Focus on the gain not the gap.

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Forgive your faults, mistakes, bad habits, vices or the goals you didn’t accomplish the way you thought you should. They aren’t that bad. There are no shoulds and no hows. If you fall of the wagon, don’t be so harsh on yourself, just observe and then course correct and get back on.

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Remember also to see the unexpected gains. Sometimes we work towards a specific goal, but we don’t accomplish it in the way or from the path that we originally set out on. Instead, we gain other things, new possibilities or solutions were given to other goals or other problems we didn’t expect from working on the first goal.

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To give an example with horses: I remember setting out one day to work the Spanish walk on a specific horse and then achieving the Piaffe instead. This was very unexpected but equally valuable. Had I chosen to get stuck on accomplishing the Spanish walk, I wouldn’t have found the solution to the piaffe.

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So, keep your eyes wide open to all the good stuff life constantly offers you every day. Don’t get stuck in a fixed mindset or on a fixed goal. “Flow like water”, as Bruce Lee once said. Always flexible and fluid, yet still carving your own path through the landscape of your life.

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Focus on happiness and the gain, not the gap in 2022, and I promise it will be a better year!

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Here’s to all of you, your prosperity, your health and success!

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Ride with Lightness

Love Celie

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