The Happy Networker

I didn’t realise, but I’d forgotten what it was like.

A Spinningfields bar full of property professionals, strangers to me but not to each other. In fact quite the opposite of strangers; some of them had been ushers at each other’s weddings. They were clients, friends, neighbours and peers; an entrenched hierarchy of 'Manchesterarti' professionals. The room was almost exclusively male and opportunities to join on-going conversations were minimal and unwelcome.

The enthusiasm I’d had as a young twenty something year old grabbing my first opportunity to network with the business community I’d worked so hard to join was soon dampened. I felt out of place, irrelevant and looked down on. I found the only person I knew, imposed myself on him and his companions until I felt like I’d been there long enough to leave with even the smallest sense of achievement.

It’s not an experience I’ve ever reflected on; until earlier this year when I was invited to talk to a group of young entrepreneurs at the Princes Trust. As I walked back to the office I had time to reflect on how different times are now and the unconscious wealth of experience I’ve inadvertently accrued, simply by attending events.

I’m not saying I’m some kind of Tony Robins Pro Networking Guru – I’m absolutely not and to be honest, I really wouldn’t want to be.

However, if I traveled back in time to meet my younger self before I walked into that bar in Spinningfields or any subsequent event, I’d tell him this:

1.      You’re not the only one. Everyone that has ever networked has had a first time. It sounds screamingly obvious but you are not alone in feeling or having felt nervous, awkward or out of place. In fact, I know people that are at the top of their game (professionally) that still get the butterflies and sweaty palms at the thought of a networking event; so you are in good company

2. Take your time and don’t panic. Observe the room and read the body language. Look for the two people that are talking but have an open stance, leaving a space in between them – they’re probably looking for someone to join their conversation, offering one of them the chance to move away to talk to someone new. Always look for the person on their own; they often tend to be out of their comfort zone and they’ll appreciate and warm to your approach. They also tend to be the person in the room that people don't already know

3.      Think about your body language. What are you telling other people in the room with your physicality? If you don’t know what’s best this might give you some tips: https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/315358

4.      Find common ground. Most events have teas, coffees or a bar area. If you’re struggling to approach people, get yourself over to those areas and offer someone the milk after you’ve poured your own tea/coffee. Do something (within reason) that opens up a social interaction. That’s the hard work done, you’ve engaged them, now introduce yourself and get talking

5.      Be interested and interesting. You will meet some incredible people doing things that you never even knew had to/could be done. Enjoy learning from them. Share your personality and passion with everyone you meet. It’s so engaging speaking to someone who is authentic. A previous mentor and director of mine used to introduce himself and then promptly work into the conversation that he did an Iron Man when he was 52.*

*it did wear thin on me having to listen to the same line, but it was a great way of engaging people with him and making a unique impression.

6.      Finally, mix it up. It doesn’t have to be breakfast networking or black tie dinners!! We’ve seen a revolution of networking activities that make networking ACTUALLY FUN!

Things like Get Quizzical (a pub quiz based networking event) and Freshwalks (a group of people that like walking and talking; more affectionately known as netwalking) are a staple fixture on the professional calendar.

There are common interest events like Women in Business, Community Projects, Inspirational Speakers, Young Professionals and even niches like Beers and Biotech! (They're easy to find on Eventbrite or MeetUp).

The days of the awkward and stale networking event are dwindling in numbers and appeal, so get out there and be a part of the revolution. Make some new connections - you might even enjoy yourself in the process. 

Thanks to Di Jones Photography, South Manchester Business Network, Freshwalks, Princes Trust & Get Quizzical for images